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tikificHey! Kids! BONUS Z FIC!!!!
Vince from ShamWow converts you to Hinduism
The Ganesha part of Hinduism anyway, a version where he’s Lord of everything that rhymes with dance.
Byzsomeone.
"Hi there, this is Vince from ShamWow and I’ve got a great new offer for you! Maybe you’ve heard of Hinduism and wondered just want was in it for you? Well let me tell you about the all new and improved Ganesha!" *holds up photo of Ganesha in a totally ShamWow way*
"You may have heard how he’s Lord of the Dance! But wait- That’s not all you get with Ganesha! Did you know he’s also Lord of the Ants? That’s right, ants! He can help you with those pesky insect problems with NO CHEMICALS!"
"He’s also Lord of the Chance! You see this guy?" *holds up photo* "He converted to Hinduism and BAM he won the lottery! You’d have to be crazy to pass up an offer like this! But wait- There’s even more!"
"Did you know Ganesha is also Lord of the Elephants? Look at him, he’s got an elephant head! You have to trust this guy! He’s also Lord of France! Do you like to travel? WHO DOESN’T?" *holds up photo of the Eiffel Tower*
"So now you’re probably telling yourself, ‘This sounds good, but what If I’m attacked by roving bandits? How can Ganesha help me then?’ NO PROBLEM because he’s also Lord of the Lance! BAM, Problem solved!"
"But wait- There’s still more! Fashion emergency? He’s Lord of the Pants! Garden not thriving? You need Lord of the Plants! Your son is gay? That’s okay with the Lord of the Prance! There’s LITERALLY no problem that Ganesh can’t help you with!"
"Co workers driving you nuts? Order now and we’ll also throw in Lord of the Rants! Need help standing your ground? He’s also Lord of the Stance! Had a long day and you just want to relax! We’ve STILL got you covered with Lord of the Trance!"
*holds up Ganesha photo again* "And if you call in the next fifteen minutes, you get the SPECIAL BONUS OFFER Lord of the Underpants! You can’t afford to wait! Call 1-800-GANESHA now! That’s 1-800-426-3772, operators are standing by!"
Vince from ShamWow converts you to Hinduism
The Ganesha part of Hinduism anyway, a version where he’s Lord of everything that rhymes with dance.
By
zsomeone."Hi there, this is Vince from ShamWow and I’ve got a great new offer for you! Maybe you’ve heard of Hinduism and wondered just want was in it for you? Well let me tell you about the all new and improved Ganesha!" *holds up photo of Ganesha in a totally ShamWow way*
"You may have heard how he’s Lord of the Dance! But wait- That’s not all you get with Ganesha! Did you know he’s also Lord of the Ants? That’s right, ants! He can help you with those pesky insect problems with NO CHEMICALS!"
"He’s also Lord of the Chance! You see this guy?" *holds up photo* "He converted to Hinduism and BAM he won the lottery! You’d have to be crazy to pass up an offer like this! But wait- There’s even more!"
"Did you know Ganesha is also Lord of the Elephants? Look at him, he’s got an elephant head! You have to trust this guy! He’s also Lord of France! Do you like to travel? WHO DOESN’T?" *holds up photo of the Eiffel Tower*
"So now you’re probably telling yourself, ‘This sounds good, but what If I’m attacked by roving bandits? How can Ganesha help me then?’ NO PROBLEM because he’s also Lord of the Lance! BAM, Problem solved!"
"But wait- There’s still more! Fashion emergency? He’s Lord of the Pants! Garden not thriving? You need Lord of the Plants! Your son is gay? That’s okay with the Lord of the Prance! There’s LITERALLY no problem that Ganesh can’t help you with!"
"Co workers driving you nuts? Order now and we’ll also throw in Lord of the Rants! Need help standing your ground? He’s also Lord of the Stance! Had a long day and you just want to relax! We’ve STILL got you covered with Lord of the Trance!"
*holds up Ganesha photo again* "And if you call in the next fifteen minutes, you get the SPECIAL BONUS OFFER Lord of the Underpants! You can’t afford to wait! Call 1-800-GANESHA now! That’s 1-800-426-3772, operators are standing by!"
