Trance (Part 2 of 2)
Feb. 25th, 2012 02:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: Trance (Part 2 of 2)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Several of my OCs were acting down and pouty this week, so I set them all loose to play in an alternate NON-METALOCALYPSE universe I wrote a while back.
Warnings: To repeat, no Metalocalypse characters here, sahry
Notes: Are with Part 1.
“So, this engagement … thing-“
“Yes, may I expect you for the party?” asked Ganesh, leaning back in his chaise lounge and holding the phone to his ear with one hand, a frosty tiki drink with another hand, his Blackberry with another hand, and a stack of annual reports with another hand (Ganesha was a great multi-tasker, and, like most everybody in his family, had many hands).
“…Is it official yet?”
“With my family? Oh, of course not! We first have to go through a bunch of perfectly tiresome meetings regarding dowry and pre-nuptial contracts and such nonsense. I shall be bored beyond belief before I am even wed.”
“Good.”
“Excuse me.”
“So, Wotan wants you all up for a hunt.”
“Well, as I have already explained to you in depth, Lady Raziel, that will be impossible, especially with recent developments! I am expected at a series-“
“Wotan wants you to be there. And Shiva.”
“Yes, of course. As I have attempted to tell you-“
“And I’ll ride along.”
“Yes that’s very nice,” tutted Ganesha, who had suddenly become very engrossed in his Blackberry.
“And my brother is coming.”
There was a pause.
“Ganesha?” Raziel asked at last.
“Oh. Uh. Er. I. Sorry, I seem to have overbalanced in my chair,” Ganesha explained, remounting his chair and looking distractedly at the stacks of annual reports, some of which were not floating in his still reflecting pool.
“The hunt, Ganesha?”
“Yes! Well, I think…. Yes. I think I shall be able, with some juggling, to clear some time, my schedule permitting….”
“It’s a date,” said Raziel, hitting the CALL END button. “And on to Step 2,” she said to herself.
“Sid’s not gonna make it again?”
“That would be a no, brah!” laughed Moody, who had brought a yo-yo and was now walking the dog.
“We scheduled this meeting for 2:22 am specifically because Sid said his ideas would flow now!” Sariel sighed, feeling there was no way he could possibly be any more exasperated than he was just now.
He was wrong.
“Hi Sariel!”
“Raziel, what the fuck are you doing here in my living room?” asked Sariel.
“What’s this?” asked Deck, who for the first time that evening removed one of his iPod ear buds.
“I’m Raziel! Nice jacket,” said the little angel, who sat up on the couch beside Moody.
“Raziel, this is a band meeting,” said Sariel.
“No, it’s not,” she told him, taking the yoyo from Moody.
“Uh, yes it is.”
“No. The eccentric guy isn’t here, is he?” she asked, doing and Around the World.
“Naw, Sid is never here, brah!” agreed Moody cheerfully. “He has ascended to a different astral plane.”
“What if I could get him here?” Raziel asked Sariel.
“What do you mean?”
“What if I could get Sid sitting right here, right now?”
“What do you want Raziel?” asked Sariel suspiciously.
“Wotan wants you to go on a hunt with us.”
“You know how much I hate hunting!” whined Sariel.
“How is this chick gonna get Sid?” asked Deck. “What if Sid don’t wanna be found, chick?”
“I have my ways,” giggled Raziel, now performing an atomic bounce.
“Whoa!” said Moody. “She can get him, Deck! She has readily apparent skills!”
“OK. Raziel. This is probably the dumbest decision of my life, but if you can get Sid, right here, right now, tell Wotan I’ll go on his fucking hunt.”
“Yay!” said Raziel, tossing the yoyo back to Moody. She put two fingers in her mouth and gave an ear-piercing whistle.
“Sid?” asked Cantrell.
“Hi dudes!” said Sid, who sauntered in and cheerfully dropped on the couch between Raziel and Moody.
“How the fuck did you do that, Raziel?” asked Sariel.
“Oh, I met Raziel in my tree!” Sid told them.
“Your tree?”
“He was hanging in the tree, just outside your window!” said Raziel.
“I was like hanging in my tree,” said Sid, “and today I go there and like, whoa, this was a chick! And she was hanging in my tree. And I’m all like, you’re hanging in my tree, chick! That’s my tree!”
“Wait, Sid,” said Sariel. “You were in a tree?”
“Yeah! Your brain, it needs blood to think! So I need to hang. So I can get the blood. To go to my brain. Where I get ideas.”
“Makes sense to me,” commented Deck.
“So, uh, Sid?” asked Sariel.
“Yeah, Jake?”
“If we got you a monkey bar or something in here, inside, so you could hang and get … ideas. Uh, would that be a good thing?”
“You would get me a hanging bar?” asked Sid, who was now leaping off the couch and, before Sariel could stop him, engulfing him in an enthusiastic bro hug. “You’re a bro, man! Now when I hang, I can hang, and I’ll think of things!”
“Well, I’ll, uh, look forward to the things you think of, Sid. I think we all will,” muttered Sariel.
“I’ll be in touch about the hunt!” grinned Raziel, who was already on her way out.
“Hey,” said Deck. “Crazy chick. You got a number?”
“I sure do!” called Raziel, waving her phone as she left.
“Buuurn!” called Moody as the door slammed.
“Moody,” muttered Sariel, waiting for the inevitable explosion.
“You burn, burn and burn, crazy angel, crazy burning love....” Sid was saying, and he was at the piano now, the small upright piano Sariel had pushed against one wall, Sid's fingers finding chords. “I dreamt a burning angel, light the sky, then was gone....”
“WAIT!” howled Deck, who had not exploded, but rather went for his guitar, and one of his guys had an amp, and Sariel stood for a while, hoping the amp didn't blow one of his creaky old bus fuses, and that the neighbors wouldn't complain too much, as he was pretty sure it was after midnight now, but maybe if they came over he could offer them drugs, as he was certain there was enough to go around now.
Sariel sighed, wondering if any of his neighbors were undercover narcotics agents.
Sariel shivered, not from the cold, but from the rattling Wotan had given him when he had shaken Sariel’s hand. Wotan was a big, friendly dog of a guy, all over with handshakes and back pats. And to make matters worse, he was being followed around by two actual big friendly dogs. Raziel claimed they were wolves, but Sariel rather suspected real wolves were intelligent and didn’t drool on your lapels quite so much.
They were all now awaiting the arrival of Shiva and his family. Sariel made a silent note to himself not to bitch (well, not to bitch too much) about Deck’s retinue: Lord Shiva’s party arrived on a train of the biggest elephants he had ever seen, all of them covered in colorful body paint and a king’s ransom of precious stones. Shiva himself was astride a giant bull, which he slid off gracefully to address Wotan.
“Shiva is most pleased to be once again taking part in a hunt with his friend of old, the Lord Wotan.”
“Shiva, you old bastard!” enthused Wotan, making with the hand pumping and back slapping. This did not seem to phase Lord Shiva, though he was no taller than Sariel.
“Shiva, this is my brother, Sariel!” said Raziel.
“Lord Shiva is most pleased to make the acquaintance of Sariel, brother of King Wotan’s current main squeeze!”
“Uh, hi,” said Sariel, not knowing what else to do when one is introduced to a god for the first time. Raziel, behind Shiva, mimed a smoking gesture. Sariel nodded. Yes, you could get high just from taking a deep breath around this guy.
“And may Shiva present his son, the Lord Ganesha,” said Shiva.
Sariel hadn’t even noticed Ganesha among the noisy party, as he had ridden in on a horse like a normal person. “We’ve met,” said Sariel, as Ganesha courteously extended a hand.
“Oh? Where have you met?” asked Shiva suspiciously.
“Uh,” explained Sariel
“At the millionaire billionaire club!” put in Raziel! “Yeah, it’s where rich million-billionaires go. To talk about how tiresome it is to have all that money!”
“Yes, that is true,” smiled Ganesha.
“So you are wealthy, Lord Sariel?” asked Shiva.
“Uh, just Sariel,” said Sariel.
“Sariel manages a famous rock band!” bragged Raziel.
“Ah! Shiva much greatly esteems the rock music genre, as it is crunchy!” beamed the god. “It is not worthless and repetitive, such as dance-trance.”
“I like trance music,” sniffed Ganesha.
“Who are your personnel?” demanded Shiva.
“Uh, I don’t know if you’d know them, Lord Shiva,” demurred Sariel.
“He’s got Jerzy Deck playing guitar,” said Raziel.
“Ah!” said Shiva. “Shiva enjoys the intricacies of Lord Deck’s masterful utilization of feedback and command of the fretboard! Shiva has much followed his progress as a journeyman guitarist staking his claim in the world of modern popular music.”
“And, uh, do you know Mal Moody?” asked a now very confused Sariel.
“I say I say I know little girl
Whoa little girl
Don’t go little girl…”
…sang Ganesha.
Shiva turned upon his son. “What is this racket?”
“They did a trance version a few years back,” smiled Ganesha.
“Oh, yeah, I remember that!” agreed Raziel.
“And, uh, Sid?” said Sariel who suddenly found himself clasped by all four of Shiva’s hands.
“Your musical assemblage features the stylings of Sid?” wondered the god, his blue face now inches form Sariel’s.
“Uh, yeah. He hangs out. Sort of.”
“Sid displays genius!” insisted Shiva. “You are a fortunate individual to be in the presence of such mastery!” the god declared, pointing in several directions.
“All right, everyone, gather round!” announced Wotan. “Today we seek the deadly bluatschink!”
“Shiva approves of this!” said Shiva.
“Oh, god, Raziel, do I have to go?” Sariel whispered.
“What’s the matter? They’re horrible, and they eat children.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“Sariel!”
“Plus, aren’t they lake monsters? I don’t wanna get my feet wet.”
“Neither do I! These are brand new boots.” She grinned. “Anyway, why do you think Shiva brought Ganesha along?”
“Why?”
“Now, what you wanna do with a bluatschink, you wanna flush them out! So, we’ll have one party go up river a piece, and another party await at the river’s mouth,” explained Wotan.
“Ganesha beta, you will go and await at the river’s mouth!” ordered Shiva.
“Yes, Father,” said Ganesha, agreeably.
“So he pulls the boring job?” Sariel whispered to Raziel.
“Won’t someone come along with me?” asked Ganesha, as he mounted his horse.
Sariel suddenly felt himself pushed forward. “Sariel will go with you!” sang Raziel.
“Why, thank you, Sariel,” smiled Ganesha.
“Come along, my little raven!” Wotan called to Raziel as he and Shiva mounted and started to ride off in the opposite direction.
“It looks like a splendid day for a hunt!” Ganesha said as Sariel, who was by now in a somewhat grumpy mood, mounted his horse.
“Is it ever a good day for a hunt?” Sariel grumbled.
“Why do you say that?” asked Ganesh.
“I don’t usually do this. Hunt. I can’t see killing anything that isn’t annoying me.”
“Oh! You are a man of principal! I appreciate that!”
“Principle? I don’t see-“ But Sariel was interrupted by a beeping that seemed very much like a cellular phone ringing.
“Oh, kindly excuse me, I need to take this,” apologized Ganesha, who had indeed just extracted a smart phone from his vest pocket. “Yes, Brahma Uncle? Yes, Eastern Kingdom’s quarterlies came in higher than expected. I am pleased to hear the ramifications for your portfolio. Yes. Yes. Now, if you would please excuse me? I am at Uncle Wotan’s. Yes, I will bid him greetings for you.” Ganesha sighed and replaced the phone. Sariel studied him for a moment. It was the first time he had seen the god in a less than blissful mood it seemed.
“Wait,” said Sariel. “Your family runs the Eastern Kingdom LLC?”
“Why, yes!” smiled Ganesha. “My father has stepped away from day to day responsibilities, so that honor has fallen to me of late.”
“It’s just…. The record company I was dealing with…. I finally got my foot in the door, and then they got bought out by Trishul.”
“Ah, yes, we own Trishul. Well, together with the European Consortium. Uncle Wotan is on their board.”
“You’re kidding?”
“No.”
“Look, Ganesha, I feel like an asshole bringing this up when we’re hunting, but the guy I was talking to? He disappeared. And I can’t get my phone calls returned anymore.”
To Sariel’s surprise, Ganesha once again extracted the cell phone and began to jabber in a language Sariel took for Hindi. After a moment, Ganesha placed the phone back in his jacket pocket. “You shall have a meeting first thing Monday morning.”
“Really?”
“My father appears a great fan of certain of your personnel. It would personally aggrieve him to see this new venture stalled when we could have offered assistance.”
“Wow, thank you!”
“Also, I find you personally rather attractive, and will not hesitate to attempt to impress you!” Ganesha grinned.
“You…. What? Wait!” said Sariel, who had to hold on tight to keep himself from falling from his horse.
“I find you attractive, and I am hoping the feeling is mutual!” said Ganesha, who had halted his horse, as they had arrived at the mouth of the river.
Sariel frowned, looking down from his mount to the smiling god. “Is this a joke?”
“Why would it be a joke?” asked Ganesha as he dismounted. “You are Lady Raziel’s brother, and I greatly esteem the young lady.”
“Well, that’s where your trouble starts. And she’s not exactly young.”
“You are obviously striving very hard in an area which you obviously care deeply about. Commitment shows a great character!”
“Character, huh? Ganesha, you don’t seem like an idiot. You do realize that I’m Fallen?” asked Sariel as he too dismounted.
“I hesitated as I thought it would be rather rude to touch upon that area. It seems to be a matter of a certain amount of unease.”
“Unease? Ganesha, I’m Fallen. Cast out. Cursed in the eyes of the Creator.”
“Hrm. Yes. I have always wondered regarding that status. Although I cannot claim to have met him, the Creator seems rather intemperate upon occasion, not to say arbitrary in His judgment.”
“You think…. Well, OK.”
“Also,” said Ganesha, “you have a very fine-looking ass! I must admit to being something of an ass man.”
Sariel said nothing, but turned a rather bright shade of crimson.
“So, what do you like about me?” Ganesha asked Sariel as he hopped up on a rock.
“What?”
“What do you like about me?” the god grinned.
“What? Oh, Jesus. What’s not to like about you?”
“Go on!” said Ganesha, twisting up into a lotus position with annoying ease.
“All right! You’re good looking, but you know that. You ‘re really good looking!”
“Do you really think so?”
Sariel sighed. “And you’re intelligent, and you seem to be a nice guy.”
“Yes?”
“And, uh, you’re a good dancer?”
“Did you see me dancing?” asked Ganesha, his lovely brown eyes suddenly curious.
“The other night. I mean, it was sort of difficult to miss….”
“I could dance for you now! Would you like that?”
“What? Oh, don’t bother.”
“Tis no bother at all,” announced Ganesha, leaping up to dance. For some reason, Sariel was not at all surprised to hear the sound of trance music. He actually caught himself smiling.
Bright day
Lovely day
Smile at me
Forever
Dark night
Delicious night
Be with me
Forever
Sariel looked up. Quite suddenly, and in the middle of a cloudless day, it was pouring rain. He threw his jacket over his head and began to run for shelter, but noticed Ganesha seemed to be blithely ignoring the downpour, and simply continued dancing.
“Idiot,” sighed Sariel, running over to the mad Hindu God. “GANESH! It’s fucking pouring!”
“Yes, isn’t it lovely,” asked Ganesh, pulling Sariel close.
“We need to…. We need to get inside?” Sariel suddenly remembered Uriel’s insult from the night before. Up close like this, Ganesha smelled…. Oh, lord, he smelled intoxicating. Fresh rain and exotic spices and cigarettes and sweat.
“Why would we do that?” asked Ganesha, his face now very close to Sariel’s.
“Because…” noted Sariel, who found for some reason his brain was working very slowly. “Because…. Because we’ll get wet?”
“I would love to be all wet,” breathed Ganesh, tracing a raindrop down Sariel’s cheek. “With you.”
“Oh … shit,” said Sariel, who developed then and there a really brilliant plan for how to put a stop to all this nonsense: and that was to kiss Ganesha, because he was probably one of those good-looking idiots who ended up being a really rotten kisser, maybe with a horrible icky sloppy tongue, and then Sariel would stop having all these imaginings about getting his hand down Ganesha's pants.
Only Ganesha, as it turned out, was not a terrible kisser.
“OK. OK. OK,” said Sariel when at last they broke the clench. “OK,” he said again, as he could not seem to say anything else.
“OK?” asked Ganesha.
“OK. I’m soaked. You’re soaked. We should get back. And change. Into clothes. That are dry.” I'm starting to sound like Sid, he thought.
Ganesha infuriatingly enough said nothing, but simply gave a low whistle, and suddenly both of the horses were standing there, waiting to be mounted. They rode back in silence.
“Ganesha,” Sariel finally said as they arrived back at Valhalla. “Look. I don’t wanna mislead you. This is a strange time in my life. I’m trying to get a band off the ground. And my personal life is … complicated right now. You are really nice. Really really really nice. Really really really… Oh, fuck it. I can’t get involved right now! I don’t know what Raziel has been telling you, but I can’t.”
Both of them looked up to the sound of horses running: Wotan’s party was coming back as well, and it seemed they were empty-handed too.
Ganesh turned to Sariel. “I will not pursue you. Not if you do not wish it. But Sariel. From now on, wherever you might be, say my name, and I will be there. I will come to you.” He leaned over, one hand lightly touching Sariel's cheek.
“GANESHA BETA! Shiva is displeased!”
“Coming, Father!” yelled Ganesha. “Just say my name,” he whispered to Sariel. And then he strode over to greet his father, and Sariel was left for a moment thinking to himself something like, “Ganeshaganeshaganeshaganeshaganeshaganeshaganesha.....”
He watched as Raziel hopped off Wotan's ridiculously large mount. The king dismounted after her, and she went up on tiptoe to give him a kiss.
And then.... And then she did something. Her hand trailed down his chest, straightening out his lapel, flicking off an imaginary speck of dust.
Wotan led off his mount.
“Holy shit, Raziel.”
“What?” she asked Sariel, still watching Wotan.
“You love him. Don't you?” laughed Sariel.
“Shhhhhh!”
“It's not just the money! You're marrying him for love.”
“Don't rub it in Sariel! Geez, no reason to be an asshole about it.” She turned and regarded him. “And why are you soaked, anyway? Did you guys fall into the lake?”
“No! It was weird! Ganesha started dancing, and then there was a rainstorm. A fucking rainstorm!”
“He made it rain on you?” she asked, hand to mouth.
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
“Did you get his number? Are you going to see him again?”
“What, so I can get pneumonia next time?”
“Sariel!”
“Raziel! I can't see him! He's engaged!”
“Not. Yet.”
“And me … it's complicated,” Sariel concluded stubbornly.
“I would like to complicate Uriel on the end of my saber,” grumbled Raziel.
“Speaking of which, it’s late, I gotta get back.”
“Why, so Uriel can get in his punching time?”
“RAZIEL. Fuck you!” Sariel tried to calm down. “Raziel. I had … a not unpleasant time. Don’t fuck it up. Just say goodbye.”
Raziel glowered, but then appeared to reconsider, went up on her toes and kissed Sariel goodbye.
Sariel saw a light in the window of his small house. He had been thoughtful the entire way. Now, he just found himself getting angry.
Very angry.
Very, very angry.
“Fucking fuck,” he muttered.
He yanked the door open and stormed in.
“You were out-“
“FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK!” he screamed at Uriel.
“What has gotten into to you, Sariel? Where were you?” the big angel demanded.
Sariel didn't really know what had gotten into him. It was more like a who. “I was out dancing with a god of earth. I really fucking good looking one,” he told Uriel.
“Are you trying to make me angry? Did you want to start a fight?” asked Uriel, reaching out a hand.
“Don’t touch me,” hissed Sariel, stepping out of range.
“What’s gotten into you, you little shit?”
“You know what’s gotten into me? Ganesha asked me to list what I liked about him. And you know what? I was thinking about it. I can’t come up with a single thing about you. Not a single goddam thing.”
Uriah’s look was dark.
“Who is Ganesha?” Uriel demanded.
“Fuck. You.”
Uriel swung, but Sariel was quick, and stepped inside, punching upwards. He didn’t manage to knock down Uriel, but he sent the bigger angel reeling. Uriel took a moment to recover, more out of surprise than anything, and then faced a furious Sariel, who was standing with his fists balled.
“I’ll crush you,” Uriel whispered. “I will beat you until they have to feed you through a tube you little fuck.” He took one step, and then he found himself down on the floor, seeing sparks.
“What?” he asked.
“That was a high kick. Would you like me to demonstrate again?” asked Ganesha.
“What are you supposed to be?” demanded Uriel.
“I am Ganesha, god of earth, Lord of Hosts, etc. etc., and also a very keen dancer. Sariel has requested you not to touch him. I suggest you comply,” Ganesha told him, extending a hand to help Uriel up.
“Ganesha,” Sariel warned.
Uriel grabbed Ganesha’s hand and started to yank the god downwards, but fell back down, screaming in pain, holding his face.
“And that was a low kick,” explained Ganesha.
“You bwoke by dose!” wailed the angel as blood oozed between his fingers.
Ganesha crouched down beside Uriel. “I am not as familiar with angelic anatomy as I am that of humans nor gods. But I reckon I could deliver blows to you some of which would potentially impair you for the remainder of your existence. As I am aware that you are almost certainly the being who caused the bruising I observed on Sariel’s face on a previous occasion, I suggest you carefully consider this.”
Uriel grimaced, his breathing labored. At length, he rose, and turned towards the door. He stopped and turned to Ganesha.
“You haben’t heard da last ob me!” he hissed, still holding his painful nose.
“Oh, I sincerely hope not,” grinned Ganesha.
“Get. The fuck. Out,” hissed Sariel.
And then Ganesha and Sariel watched as Uriel left.
“Ganesha! What the fuck are you doing here?” asked Sariel.
“You called my name! I knew you would!” gushed the earth god.
“Oh, yeah. That,” said Sariel.
“So it looks like you have an evening free of, er, other engagements!” announced Ganesha. “Would you like to spend some time together? We could go out and dance? Or if you would prefer to stay in, I could show you some lovely Hindi movies….”
“Uh, actually…” began Sariel.
“Yes?”
“Could we just, sort of, stay here. And make out?”
“Hey, you’re right, this hanging stuff does give you ideas,” said Raziel.
“Are you getting thoughts in your brain?” urged Sid, who was hanging upside-down off the tree branch outside Sariel’s house, right beside Raziel, who was doing the same.
“Yeah, I think Sariel might wanna invest in some curtains for the living room,” grinned Raziel, watching her brother and his new friend.
“It’s good that he has friendly friends like us!” said Sid.
“Yep,” said Raziel, dropping back to earth.
“Where are you going now?” asked Sid.
“I’m heading back to Valhalla.”
“Valhalla?”
“It’s where my boyfriend lives,” Raziel told him. “Wanna come?”
“Do you have trees?” asked Sid, now on the ground beside her.
“Sure thing! Lots of them!”
“Whoa! That give me ideas!”
“Cool!”
And they were off, singing
Hello little girl
Whoa little girl….
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Several of my OCs were acting down and pouty this week, so I set them all loose to play in an alternate NON-METALOCALYPSE universe I wrote a while back.
Warnings: To repeat, no Metalocalypse characters here, sahry
Notes: Are with Part 1.
“So, this engagement … thing-“
“Yes, may I expect you for the party?” asked Ganesh, leaning back in his chaise lounge and holding the phone to his ear with one hand, a frosty tiki drink with another hand, his Blackberry with another hand, and a stack of annual reports with another hand (Ganesha was a great multi-tasker, and, like most everybody in his family, had many hands).
“…Is it official yet?”
“With my family? Oh, of course not! We first have to go through a bunch of perfectly tiresome meetings regarding dowry and pre-nuptial contracts and such nonsense. I shall be bored beyond belief before I am even wed.”
“Good.”
“Excuse me.”
“So, Wotan wants you all up for a hunt.”
“Well, as I have already explained to you in depth, Lady Raziel, that will be impossible, especially with recent developments! I am expected at a series-“
“Wotan wants you to be there. And Shiva.”
“Yes, of course. As I have attempted to tell you-“
“And I’ll ride along.”
“Yes that’s very nice,” tutted Ganesha, who had suddenly become very engrossed in his Blackberry.
“And my brother is coming.”
There was a pause.
“Ganesha?” Raziel asked at last.
“Oh. Uh. Er. I. Sorry, I seem to have overbalanced in my chair,” Ganesha explained, remounting his chair and looking distractedly at the stacks of annual reports, some of which were not floating in his still reflecting pool.
“The hunt, Ganesha?”
“Yes! Well, I think…. Yes. I think I shall be able, with some juggling, to clear some time, my schedule permitting….”
“It’s a date,” said Raziel, hitting the CALL END button. “And on to Step 2,” she said to herself.
“Sid’s not gonna make it again?”
“That would be a no, brah!” laughed Moody, who had brought a yo-yo and was now walking the dog.
“We scheduled this meeting for 2:22 am specifically because Sid said his ideas would flow now!” Sariel sighed, feeling there was no way he could possibly be any more exasperated than he was just now.
He was wrong.
“Hi Sariel!”
“Raziel, what the fuck are you doing here in my living room?” asked Sariel.
“What’s this?” asked Deck, who for the first time that evening removed one of his iPod ear buds.
“I’m Raziel! Nice jacket,” said the little angel, who sat up on the couch beside Moody.
“Raziel, this is a band meeting,” said Sariel.
“No, it’s not,” she told him, taking the yoyo from Moody.
“Uh, yes it is.”
“No. The eccentric guy isn’t here, is he?” she asked, doing and Around the World.
“Naw, Sid is never here, brah!” agreed Moody cheerfully. “He has ascended to a different astral plane.”
“What if I could get him here?” Raziel asked Sariel.
“What do you mean?”
“What if I could get Sid sitting right here, right now?”
“What do you want Raziel?” asked Sariel suspiciously.
“Wotan wants you to go on a hunt with us.”
“You know how much I hate hunting!” whined Sariel.
“How is this chick gonna get Sid?” asked Deck. “What if Sid don’t wanna be found, chick?”
“I have my ways,” giggled Raziel, now performing an atomic bounce.
“Whoa!” said Moody. “She can get him, Deck! She has readily apparent skills!”
“OK. Raziel. This is probably the dumbest decision of my life, but if you can get Sid, right here, right now, tell Wotan I’ll go on his fucking hunt.”
“Yay!” said Raziel, tossing the yoyo back to Moody. She put two fingers in her mouth and gave an ear-piercing whistle.
“Sid?” asked Cantrell.
“Hi dudes!” said Sid, who sauntered in and cheerfully dropped on the couch between Raziel and Moody.
“How the fuck did you do that, Raziel?” asked Sariel.
“Oh, I met Raziel in my tree!” Sid told them.
“Your tree?”
“He was hanging in the tree, just outside your window!” said Raziel.
“I was like hanging in my tree,” said Sid, “and today I go there and like, whoa, this was a chick! And she was hanging in my tree. And I’m all like, you’re hanging in my tree, chick! That’s my tree!”
“Wait, Sid,” said Sariel. “You were in a tree?”
“Yeah! Your brain, it needs blood to think! So I need to hang. So I can get the blood. To go to my brain. Where I get ideas.”
“Makes sense to me,” commented Deck.
“So, uh, Sid?” asked Sariel.
“Yeah, Jake?”
“If we got you a monkey bar or something in here, inside, so you could hang and get … ideas. Uh, would that be a good thing?”
“You would get me a hanging bar?” asked Sid, who was now leaping off the couch and, before Sariel could stop him, engulfing him in an enthusiastic bro hug. “You’re a bro, man! Now when I hang, I can hang, and I’ll think of things!”
“Well, I’ll, uh, look forward to the things you think of, Sid. I think we all will,” muttered Sariel.
“I’ll be in touch about the hunt!” grinned Raziel, who was already on her way out.
“Hey,” said Deck. “Crazy chick. You got a number?”
“I sure do!” called Raziel, waving her phone as she left.
“Buuurn!” called Moody as the door slammed.
“Moody,” muttered Sariel, waiting for the inevitable explosion.
“You burn, burn and burn, crazy angel, crazy burning love....” Sid was saying, and he was at the piano now, the small upright piano Sariel had pushed against one wall, Sid's fingers finding chords. “I dreamt a burning angel, light the sky, then was gone....”
“WAIT!” howled Deck, who had not exploded, but rather went for his guitar, and one of his guys had an amp, and Sariel stood for a while, hoping the amp didn't blow one of his creaky old bus fuses, and that the neighbors wouldn't complain too much, as he was pretty sure it was after midnight now, but maybe if they came over he could offer them drugs, as he was certain there was enough to go around now.
Sariel sighed, wondering if any of his neighbors were undercover narcotics agents.
Sariel shivered, not from the cold, but from the rattling Wotan had given him when he had shaken Sariel’s hand. Wotan was a big, friendly dog of a guy, all over with handshakes and back pats. And to make matters worse, he was being followed around by two actual big friendly dogs. Raziel claimed they were wolves, but Sariel rather suspected real wolves were intelligent and didn’t drool on your lapels quite so much.
They were all now awaiting the arrival of Shiva and his family. Sariel made a silent note to himself not to bitch (well, not to bitch too much) about Deck’s retinue: Lord Shiva’s party arrived on a train of the biggest elephants he had ever seen, all of them covered in colorful body paint and a king’s ransom of precious stones. Shiva himself was astride a giant bull, which he slid off gracefully to address Wotan.
“Shiva is most pleased to be once again taking part in a hunt with his friend of old, the Lord Wotan.”
“Shiva, you old bastard!” enthused Wotan, making with the hand pumping and back slapping. This did not seem to phase Lord Shiva, though he was no taller than Sariel.
“Shiva, this is my brother, Sariel!” said Raziel.
“Lord Shiva is most pleased to make the acquaintance of Sariel, brother of King Wotan’s current main squeeze!”
“Uh, hi,” said Sariel, not knowing what else to do when one is introduced to a god for the first time. Raziel, behind Shiva, mimed a smoking gesture. Sariel nodded. Yes, you could get high just from taking a deep breath around this guy.
“And may Shiva present his son, the Lord Ganesha,” said Shiva.
Sariel hadn’t even noticed Ganesha among the noisy party, as he had ridden in on a horse like a normal person. “We’ve met,” said Sariel, as Ganesha courteously extended a hand.
“Oh? Where have you met?” asked Shiva suspiciously.
“Uh,” explained Sariel
“At the millionaire billionaire club!” put in Raziel! “Yeah, it’s where rich million-billionaires go. To talk about how tiresome it is to have all that money!”
“Yes, that is true,” smiled Ganesha.
“So you are wealthy, Lord Sariel?” asked Shiva.
“Uh, just Sariel,” said Sariel.
“Sariel manages a famous rock band!” bragged Raziel.
“Ah! Shiva much greatly esteems the rock music genre, as it is crunchy!” beamed the god. “It is not worthless and repetitive, such as dance-trance.”
“I like trance music,” sniffed Ganesha.
“Who are your personnel?” demanded Shiva.
“Uh, I don’t know if you’d know them, Lord Shiva,” demurred Sariel.
“He’s got Jerzy Deck playing guitar,” said Raziel.
“Ah!” said Shiva. “Shiva enjoys the intricacies of Lord Deck’s masterful utilization of feedback and command of the fretboard! Shiva has much followed his progress as a journeyman guitarist staking his claim in the world of modern popular music.”
“And, uh, do you know Mal Moody?” asked a now very confused Sariel.
“I say I say I know little girl
Whoa little girl
Don’t go little girl…”
…sang Ganesha.
Shiva turned upon his son. “What is this racket?”
“They did a trance version a few years back,” smiled Ganesha.
“Oh, yeah, I remember that!” agreed Raziel.
“And, uh, Sid?” said Sariel who suddenly found himself clasped by all four of Shiva’s hands.
“Your musical assemblage features the stylings of Sid?” wondered the god, his blue face now inches form Sariel’s.
“Uh, yeah. He hangs out. Sort of.”
“Sid displays genius!” insisted Shiva. “You are a fortunate individual to be in the presence of such mastery!” the god declared, pointing in several directions.
“All right, everyone, gather round!” announced Wotan. “Today we seek the deadly bluatschink!”
“Shiva approves of this!” said Shiva.
“Oh, god, Raziel, do I have to go?” Sariel whispered.
“What’s the matter? They’re horrible, and they eat children.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“Sariel!”
“Plus, aren’t they lake monsters? I don’t wanna get my feet wet.”
“Neither do I! These are brand new boots.” She grinned. “Anyway, why do you think Shiva brought Ganesha along?”
“Why?”
“Now, what you wanna do with a bluatschink, you wanna flush them out! So, we’ll have one party go up river a piece, and another party await at the river’s mouth,” explained Wotan.
“Ganesha beta, you will go and await at the river’s mouth!” ordered Shiva.
“Yes, Father,” said Ganesha, agreeably.
“So he pulls the boring job?” Sariel whispered to Raziel.
“Won’t someone come along with me?” asked Ganesha, as he mounted his horse.
Sariel suddenly felt himself pushed forward. “Sariel will go with you!” sang Raziel.
“Why, thank you, Sariel,” smiled Ganesha.
“Come along, my little raven!” Wotan called to Raziel as he and Shiva mounted and started to ride off in the opposite direction.
“It looks like a splendid day for a hunt!” Ganesha said as Sariel, who was by now in a somewhat grumpy mood, mounted his horse.
“Is it ever a good day for a hunt?” Sariel grumbled.
“Why do you say that?” asked Ganesh.
“I don’t usually do this. Hunt. I can’t see killing anything that isn’t annoying me.”
“Oh! You are a man of principal! I appreciate that!”
“Principle? I don’t see-“ But Sariel was interrupted by a beeping that seemed very much like a cellular phone ringing.
“Oh, kindly excuse me, I need to take this,” apologized Ganesha, who had indeed just extracted a smart phone from his vest pocket. “Yes, Brahma Uncle? Yes, Eastern Kingdom’s quarterlies came in higher than expected. I am pleased to hear the ramifications for your portfolio. Yes. Yes. Now, if you would please excuse me? I am at Uncle Wotan’s. Yes, I will bid him greetings for you.” Ganesha sighed and replaced the phone. Sariel studied him for a moment. It was the first time he had seen the god in a less than blissful mood it seemed.
“Wait,” said Sariel. “Your family runs the Eastern Kingdom LLC?”
“Why, yes!” smiled Ganesha. “My father has stepped away from day to day responsibilities, so that honor has fallen to me of late.”
“It’s just…. The record company I was dealing with…. I finally got my foot in the door, and then they got bought out by Trishul.”
“Ah, yes, we own Trishul. Well, together with the European Consortium. Uncle Wotan is on their board.”
“You’re kidding?”
“No.”
“Look, Ganesha, I feel like an asshole bringing this up when we’re hunting, but the guy I was talking to? He disappeared. And I can’t get my phone calls returned anymore.”
To Sariel’s surprise, Ganesha once again extracted the cell phone and began to jabber in a language Sariel took for Hindi. After a moment, Ganesha placed the phone back in his jacket pocket. “You shall have a meeting first thing Monday morning.”
“Really?”
“My father appears a great fan of certain of your personnel. It would personally aggrieve him to see this new venture stalled when we could have offered assistance.”
“Wow, thank you!”
“Also, I find you personally rather attractive, and will not hesitate to attempt to impress you!” Ganesha grinned.
“You…. What? Wait!” said Sariel, who had to hold on tight to keep himself from falling from his horse.
“I find you attractive, and I am hoping the feeling is mutual!” said Ganesha, who had halted his horse, as they had arrived at the mouth of the river.
Sariel frowned, looking down from his mount to the smiling god. “Is this a joke?”
“Why would it be a joke?” asked Ganesha as he dismounted. “You are Lady Raziel’s brother, and I greatly esteem the young lady.”
“Well, that’s where your trouble starts. And she’s not exactly young.”
“You are obviously striving very hard in an area which you obviously care deeply about. Commitment shows a great character!”
“Character, huh? Ganesha, you don’t seem like an idiot. You do realize that I’m Fallen?” asked Sariel as he too dismounted.
“I hesitated as I thought it would be rather rude to touch upon that area. It seems to be a matter of a certain amount of unease.”
“Unease? Ganesha, I’m Fallen. Cast out. Cursed in the eyes of the Creator.”
“Hrm. Yes. I have always wondered regarding that status. Although I cannot claim to have met him, the Creator seems rather intemperate upon occasion, not to say arbitrary in His judgment.”
“You think…. Well, OK.”
“Also,” said Ganesha, “you have a very fine-looking ass! I must admit to being something of an ass man.”
Sariel said nothing, but turned a rather bright shade of crimson.
“So, what do you like about me?” Ganesha asked Sariel as he hopped up on a rock.
“What?”
“What do you like about me?” the god grinned.
“What? Oh, Jesus. What’s not to like about you?”
“Go on!” said Ganesha, twisting up into a lotus position with annoying ease.
“All right! You’re good looking, but you know that. You ‘re really good looking!”
“Do you really think so?”
Sariel sighed. “And you’re intelligent, and you seem to be a nice guy.”
“Yes?”
“And, uh, you’re a good dancer?”
“Did you see me dancing?” asked Ganesha, his lovely brown eyes suddenly curious.
“The other night. I mean, it was sort of difficult to miss….”
“I could dance for you now! Would you like that?”
“What? Oh, don’t bother.”
“Tis no bother at all,” announced Ganesha, leaping up to dance. For some reason, Sariel was not at all surprised to hear the sound of trance music. He actually caught himself smiling.
Bright day
Lovely day
Smile at me
Forever
Dark night
Delicious night
Be with me
Forever
Sariel looked up. Quite suddenly, and in the middle of a cloudless day, it was pouring rain. He threw his jacket over his head and began to run for shelter, but noticed Ganesha seemed to be blithely ignoring the downpour, and simply continued dancing.
“Idiot,” sighed Sariel, running over to the mad Hindu God. “GANESH! It’s fucking pouring!”
“Yes, isn’t it lovely,” asked Ganesh, pulling Sariel close.
“We need to…. We need to get inside?” Sariel suddenly remembered Uriel’s insult from the night before. Up close like this, Ganesha smelled…. Oh, lord, he smelled intoxicating. Fresh rain and exotic spices and cigarettes and sweat.
“Why would we do that?” asked Ganesha, his face now very close to Sariel’s.
“Because…” noted Sariel, who found for some reason his brain was working very slowly. “Because…. Because we’ll get wet?”
“I would love to be all wet,” breathed Ganesh, tracing a raindrop down Sariel’s cheek. “With you.”
“Oh … shit,” said Sariel, who developed then and there a really brilliant plan for how to put a stop to all this nonsense: and that was to kiss Ganesha, because he was probably one of those good-looking idiots who ended up being a really rotten kisser, maybe with a horrible icky sloppy tongue, and then Sariel would stop having all these imaginings about getting his hand down Ganesha's pants.
Only Ganesha, as it turned out, was not a terrible kisser.
“OK. OK. OK,” said Sariel when at last they broke the clench. “OK,” he said again, as he could not seem to say anything else.
“OK?” asked Ganesha.
“OK. I’m soaked. You’re soaked. We should get back. And change. Into clothes. That are dry.” I'm starting to sound like Sid, he thought.
Ganesha infuriatingly enough said nothing, but simply gave a low whistle, and suddenly both of the horses were standing there, waiting to be mounted. They rode back in silence.
“Ganesha,” Sariel finally said as they arrived back at Valhalla. “Look. I don’t wanna mislead you. This is a strange time in my life. I’m trying to get a band off the ground. And my personal life is … complicated right now. You are really nice. Really really really nice. Really really really… Oh, fuck it. I can’t get involved right now! I don’t know what Raziel has been telling you, but I can’t.”
Both of them looked up to the sound of horses running: Wotan’s party was coming back as well, and it seemed they were empty-handed too.
Ganesh turned to Sariel. “I will not pursue you. Not if you do not wish it. But Sariel. From now on, wherever you might be, say my name, and I will be there. I will come to you.” He leaned over, one hand lightly touching Sariel's cheek.
“GANESHA BETA! Shiva is displeased!”
“Coming, Father!” yelled Ganesha. “Just say my name,” he whispered to Sariel. And then he strode over to greet his father, and Sariel was left for a moment thinking to himself something like, “Ganeshaganeshaganeshaganeshaganeshaganeshaganesha.....”
He watched as Raziel hopped off Wotan's ridiculously large mount. The king dismounted after her, and she went up on tiptoe to give him a kiss.
And then.... And then she did something. Her hand trailed down his chest, straightening out his lapel, flicking off an imaginary speck of dust.
Wotan led off his mount.
“Holy shit, Raziel.”
“What?” she asked Sariel, still watching Wotan.
“You love him. Don't you?” laughed Sariel.
“Shhhhhh!”
“It's not just the money! You're marrying him for love.”
“Don't rub it in Sariel! Geez, no reason to be an asshole about it.” She turned and regarded him. “And why are you soaked, anyway? Did you guys fall into the lake?”
“No! It was weird! Ganesha started dancing, and then there was a rainstorm. A fucking rainstorm!”
“He made it rain on you?” she asked, hand to mouth.
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
“Did you get his number? Are you going to see him again?”
“What, so I can get pneumonia next time?”
“Sariel!”
“Raziel! I can't see him! He's engaged!”
“Not. Yet.”
“And me … it's complicated,” Sariel concluded stubbornly.
“I would like to complicate Uriel on the end of my saber,” grumbled Raziel.
“Speaking of which, it’s late, I gotta get back.”
“Why, so Uriel can get in his punching time?”
“RAZIEL. Fuck you!” Sariel tried to calm down. “Raziel. I had … a not unpleasant time. Don’t fuck it up. Just say goodbye.”
Raziel glowered, but then appeared to reconsider, went up on her toes and kissed Sariel goodbye.
Sariel saw a light in the window of his small house. He had been thoughtful the entire way. Now, he just found himself getting angry.
Very angry.
Very, very angry.
“Fucking fuck,” he muttered.
He yanked the door open and stormed in.
“You were out-“
“FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK!” he screamed at Uriel.
“What has gotten into to you, Sariel? Where were you?” the big angel demanded.
Sariel didn't really know what had gotten into him. It was more like a who. “I was out dancing with a god of earth. I really fucking good looking one,” he told Uriel.
“Are you trying to make me angry? Did you want to start a fight?” asked Uriel, reaching out a hand.
“Don’t touch me,” hissed Sariel, stepping out of range.
“What’s gotten into you, you little shit?”
“You know what’s gotten into me? Ganesha asked me to list what I liked about him. And you know what? I was thinking about it. I can’t come up with a single thing about you. Not a single goddam thing.”
Uriah’s look was dark.
“Who is Ganesha?” Uriel demanded.
“Fuck. You.”
Uriel swung, but Sariel was quick, and stepped inside, punching upwards. He didn’t manage to knock down Uriel, but he sent the bigger angel reeling. Uriel took a moment to recover, more out of surprise than anything, and then faced a furious Sariel, who was standing with his fists balled.
“I’ll crush you,” Uriel whispered. “I will beat you until they have to feed you through a tube you little fuck.” He took one step, and then he found himself down on the floor, seeing sparks.
“What?” he asked.
“That was a high kick. Would you like me to demonstrate again?” asked Ganesha.
“What are you supposed to be?” demanded Uriel.
“I am Ganesha, god of earth, Lord of Hosts, etc. etc., and also a very keen dancer. Sariel has requested you not to touch him. I suggest you comply,” Ganesha told him, extending a hand to help Uriel up.
“Ganesha,” Sariel warned.
Uriel grabbed Ganesha’s hand and started to yank the god downwards, but fell back down, screaming in pain, holding his face.
“And that was a low kick,” explained Ganesha.
“You bwoke by dose!” wailed the angel as blood oozed between his fingers.
Ganesha crouched down beside Uriel. “I am not as familiar with angelic anatomy as I am that of humans nor gods. But I reckon I could deliver blows to you some of which would potentially impair you for the remainder of your existence. As I am aware that you are almost certainly the being who caused the bruising I observed on Sariel’s face on a previous occasion, I suggest you carefully consider this.”
Uriel grimaced, his breathing labored. At length, he rose, and turned towards the door. He stopped and turned to Ganesha.
“You haben’t heard da last ob me!” he hissed, still holding his painful nose.
“Oh, I sincerely hope not,” grinned Ganesha.
“Get. The fuck. Out,” hissed Sariel.
And then Ganesha and Sariel watched as Uriel left.
“Ganesha! What the fuck are you doing here?” asked Sariel.
“You called my name! I knew you would!” gushed the earth god.
“Oh, yeah. That,” said Sariel.
“So it looks like you have an evening free of, er, other engagements!” announced Ganesha. “Would you like to spend some time together? We could go out and dance? Or if you would prefer to stay in, I could show you some lovely Hindi movies….”
“Uh, actually…” began Sariel.
“Yes?”
“Could we just, sort of, stay here. And make out?”
“Hey, you’re right, this hanging stuff does give you ideas,” said Raziel.
“Are you getting thoughts in your brain?” urged Sid, who was hanging upside-down off the tree branch outside Sariel’s house, right beside Raziel, who was doing the same.
“Yeah, I think Sariel might wanna invest in some curtains for the living room,” grinned Raziel, watching her brother and his new friend.
“It’s good that he has friendly friends like us!” said Sid.
“Yep,” said Raziel, dropping back to earth.
“Where are you going now?” asked Sid.
“I’m heading back to Valhalla.”
“Valhalla?”
“It’s where my boyfriend lives,” Raziel told him. “Wanna come?”
“Do you have trees?” asked Sid, now on the ground beside her.
“Sure thing! Lots of them!”
“Whoa! That give me ideas!”
“Cool!”
And they were off, singing
Hello little girl
Whoa little girl….
