AU

Dec. 11th, 2010 10:40 am
tikific: (Default)
[personal profile] tikific
Title: AU
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Something is rotten in the state of Mordland
Warnings: Slash, weirdness
Notes: I have no idea. Really, no idea.

Cross posted to [livejournal.com profile] capslokdethklok.



Charles burst into the meeting room at Mordhaus and angrily tossed his bloodstained sword onto the conference room table.

“Guys,” he said accusingly, “What do you know about this, ah, ALTERNATE REALITY?”

“Uhhhhhhhh,” said Nathan, guiltily brushing Pickles off his lap.

“ARE WE IN AN ALTERNATE REALITY?”

“Why ams you t’ink dats?” asked Skwisgaar, briefly pausing from French kising Toki.

“Is it it ‘cause we’re actin’ so gay, dood?” asked Pickles, hopping onto Skwisgaar’s lap.

“No.”

“Oh,” said Pickles.

“Ams it because you ams killed some robots ninja guys with your swords ons da way to da daily meetings?” Toki posited, busily knitting his Mithril vest.

“No.”

“Is it because of my pet Chimera?” asked Nathan, tugging on the leash of the snarling, lion-headed, snake-bodied beast. “It’s because of MY PET CHIMERA, isn’t it?”

“No.”

“Well, what ams wrongs den?” wondered Skwisgaar, peering into his hand mirror, dabbing on mascara and adjusting his miniskirt.

“I just ran into some, ah, INTERESTING and COMPLEX female characters!”

“NOOOooOOooOOOooOOOO!” wailed Nathan, bending over to unzip Charles’ pants.

“Murderface!” shouted Pickles, cuddling Toki by the fireside.

Incensed, the band broke into William Murderface’s torture-device decked bedroom. They found him in a corner, huddled over his Dethlaptop.

“I’m schorry, bros. I juscht wanted an intelligent converschation about literary ficschion!”

“Murderface, LAY OFF THE MARTY STUS!”

“I guessch you’ll have to schplit now, Gretchen,” Murderface told the intelligent and emotionally shaded girl sitting in his room after the rest of the band had all departed to have an orgy and also snack on Cool Ranch Doritos.

“But I so wanted to dialog about Jane Austen!” she protested.

“Schensche and Schenschibility will juscht have to wait until we all dwell in a better world.”

“Goodbye, Murderface. I’ll never forget your literary sensibility!”

“You may call me, Mischter Darschy,” the bassist told her, hitting the DELETE key and blowing a fond kiss goodbye.

Date: 2010-12-11 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misdreya.livejournal.com
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID HERE TO ME BUT I THINK I LIKED IT

:D

“NOOOooOOooOOOooOOOO!” wailed Nathan, bending over to unzip Charles’ pants.

QFE.

Date: 2010-12-11 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
I wrote it while I was watching Inception last night. I blame Joseph Gordon-Levitt. And that suit.

Date: 2010-12-11 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zsomeone.livejournal.com
I LOVE THIS.

Awesome random insanity, the best kind.
Heh, everything is normal except for the interesting female characters...

Date: 2010-12-11 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gearsmoke.livejournal.com
Of course you do ;) I anticipated this turn of events!
And I laughed.

Date: 2010-12-11 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sike-saner.livejournal.com
This has been highlighted before, but I am going to highlight it again because it is just. that. awesome:

“NOOOooOOooOOOooOOOO!” wailed Nathan, bending over to unzip Charles’ pants.


And the notion of any of these guys writing fanfiction is just one that I love to itty bitty pieces. X3

Date: 2010-12-11 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
“NOOOooOOooOOOooOOOO!” wailed Nathan, bending over to unzip Charles’ pants.

I think this means I'm not allowed to try any N/C for at least another 30 days. :D

Date: 2010-12-11 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Snerrrrrrrk. Poor Charles. That kind of discovery must have given him a heart attack.

Gotta say, I like this version of Murderface, though if he'd be willing to talk SF instead of Austen....

Date: 2010-12-11 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
INTERESTING GIRLS: Would you like to discuss narrative devices in the Victorian novel?

CHARLES: AAAARRRRGH! *taser* *taser* *taser* *taser*

Date: 2010-12-11 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
I'd call that proof that he's either terminally single, or queer as a nine-dollar bill. And nine dollars is a lot of queer.

(OTOH, maybe he just doesn't like Victorian literature. In some cases, I really can't blame him.)

Date: 2010-12-11 09:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
NINE DOLLARS FOR ALL THAT QUEER??

IS BARGAIN!!!!

I WILL TAKE ONE!

Charles in my living room: *taser* *taser* *taser* *taser* *taser*
Seriously Annoyed Husband: *lightsaber* SNNNK!

Oops! Maybe not good strategy. I will leave Charles to roam free and queer with his taser....

Date: 2010-12-11 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sjofn0nott.livejournal.com
Hilarious! My roomie is looking at me wondering wtf is so funny; I laughed for a good 3 minutes. 8D Seriously. FUNNY! Good job :)

Date: 2010-12-11 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Yeah, everybody looks at me when I'm writing and thinks I'm insane. Which, well, they're right. :D

Date: 2010-12-12 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sjofn0nott.livejournal.com
“It’s because of MY PET CHIMERA, isn’t it?”
I lost it at that line, I could hear Nathan growl/yell it. Again, I have to say veeeerrrrryyy funny.

Date: 2010-12-11 09:06 pm (UTC)
ext_341900: (data laugh)
From: [identity profile] senoritafish.livejournal.com
Hahahahaha!

Just the thing to put me in a better mood after dropping my phone in the toilet this morning. Thank you.

(and I thought you said you weren't writing N/C anymore... hee! )

Date: 2010-12-11 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
(and I thought you said you weren't writing N/C anymore... hee! )

Yeah, I should probably taser myself for that, huh? :D

Date: 2010-12-11 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deth-pinion.livejournal.com
What is this. I don't even.

Hahaha... this was great. I especially loved the "wailed Nathan, bending over to unzip Charles’ pants.
XDD

Also: Mischter Darschy.

Date: 2010-12-11 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Also: Mischter Darschy.

I halfway think I wrote this just to have Murderface say "Sense and Sensibility."

Date: 2010-12-11 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deth-pinion.livejournal.com
I think that's a totally acceptable reason. XD

Date: 2010-12-12 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nugatorytm.livejournal.com
Why, oh why am I such an uncultured buffoon! I don't read classic literature, I haven't seen classic films-- I totally fail at life. *wibble*

Well, at least I'm evil.

Date: 2010-12-12 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<i.well,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<i.Well, at least I'm evil.</i>

And isnt' that really ALL THAT MATTERS????

(Do you need a Toki!hug? And a puppy?)

Date: 2010-12-12 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nugatorytm.livejournal.com
And isnt' that really ALL THAT MATTERS????

Pretty much, yeah.

A Toki!hug would be wonderful right about now. I had to Toki!punch someone today for kicking my ass at dominoes. I even yelled out, "Toki!PUNCH!" as I slugged him. I was winning, darnit.

Ooo, a puppy! Oh crap, we can't have dogs in the apartment building. Underwater friends are fine, though. :)

Date: 2010-12-12 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
I even yelled out, "Toki!PUNCH!" as I slugged him.

DID YOU REALLY???

Seriously, dood, awesome!!

Date: 2010-12-12 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nugatorytm.livejournal.com
Yup. My son used to play Super Smash Brothers Brawl" on the Wii all the darn time, so Blue Falcon was always saying, "Falcon-PUNCH!" every time he took a swing at someone.

In my mind, "Falcon-PUNCH!" is now, "Toki!PUNCH!", and you get a slug in the arm. He deserved his Toki!punch, really.

Date: 2010-12-13 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herbailiwick.livejournal.com
THIS FOREVER AND THEN SOME

Date: 2010-12-13 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herbailiwick.livejournal.com
This was actually really awesome.

And this was my favorite line: “It’s because of MY PET CHIMERA, isn’t it?”

Oh Nathan.

LOL at the complex female character thing!

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