Adoption (Mythklok Interstital)
Oct. 19th, 2011 03:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: Adoption (Mythklok Interstital)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kids
Warnings: Kids!
Notes: This one's sorta fluffy. I had a weird day. Give me a break.
Charles was juggling numbers in a particularly recalcitrant spreadsheet when the phone rang. Not taking his eyes from his laptop screen, he brought the handpiece to one shoulder. “Yeah, Raziel? Not yet. Yeah, you'll get cute pictures. I promise! Look, it's not as if your kids are off to college yet.” He frowned and pulled the handpiece off his shoulder, appearing to be staring at it. “Raziel, you are crying because you're kids are going to college in SIXTEEN YEARS? Yes. Yes.... Yes, I promise I will always be your … Little Brother. Unless I go to college. I went to.... I went to law school not college! You wouldn't let me! Maybe I wanna booze and hang out with sleazy women! OK. Yeah. Yes. Cute pictures. G'bye.”
He had just hung up the phone when he felt a tug on his pantleg.
“Weens, Dada?” inquired Elias.
“You want wings?”
“Uh-huh!” said Elias, emphasizing the request with a giant-sized yawn.
“'K. Minute.” Charles stood and, with a practiced air, began tugging off his shirt and tie (the jacket was already long since off, splayed rather carelessly over the back of his chair), meanwhile pushing his normal office chair back out of the way with one foot. He True Formed, grabbing another, armless chair (which better accommodated his winged form) and sliding it underneath himself.
“All right, climb on up,” Charles told Elias, with a pat to one leg. The boy had no sooner attained his lap than, soothed in part by his father's angelic form, he went limp and began producing a rather bone-rattling snore.
Charles had already brought his attention fully back to the spreadsheet. If he noticed the snore, or was indeed in any way hampered by the child in his arms, he gave no outward sign of this.
Some time later – it may have been a lot of time, or a little, but at any rate, Charles could not have told you, as he had not checked his watch – there was a slight commotion in the office doorway, and then there were musicians standing at the desk.
“Are we INTERRUPTING?” asked Nathan, in his very best imitation of a whisper.
Charles blinked. “Naw, I was almost through with this,” he said, pointing at the spreadsheet.
Nathan gestured a meaty paw instead in the direction of the sleeping kid.
“Oh. Ah. Naptime,” explained Charles. “I'll-”
But Toki was on Charles' side of the desk, stretching out his arms, so Charles handed off the sleeping child. Toki carefully put Elias over a shoulder, and then, humming a quiet tune, gently settled him down on one of the couches, being careful to snuggle a couple of well-loved plush toys near him.
“He's here a lot lately,” Nathan noted, settling his bulk comfortably into a chair.
Charles, who had Court Formed, was shrugging back into his shirt and sliding back his customary chair. “We gave the tutor a couple weeks off....”
“What, that Kam guy?” asked Nathan.
“Hims has da babies,” said Toki.
“Wait,” said Nathan. “I didn't see that. Do those Cherub guys like, bud off or something?”
“Uh, no, Nathan,” said Charles, “he's adopting a kid.”
“We got another kid?” asked Nathan, eagerly sitting forward.
“Uh,” Charles cautioned, steepling his hands in an authoritative manner, “Yeah. Jyoti. And he's mostly gonna stay up at Ganesh's place. For now. While he's, uh, getting adjusted.”
Nathan frowned as Toki, still humming, sat down next to him. “You think we'll kill him, don't you?” inquird the singer.
“The thought had occurred to me,” Charles admitted. “This is a human kid. You know.” His forehead creased slightly. “A baby?”
For whatever reason, Nathan gazed suspiciously at Toki, who said, “I ams not t'inks you can t'rows da baby from da balconies and dey am bounces, Nat'ans.”
“Oh. Well, that kind of sucks. Who designed those things, anyway? Don't they have wings?”
“Uh, no, Nathan,” said Charles. “Generally speaking, human babies do not come equipped with wings. Or extra arms for that matter.”
“Can they grow them?”
“Um. No.”
“What do you do with them? Seriously! They seem BORING. What's the appeal?”
“Well, so I have been told, they are cute.”
“They're CUTE?” asked Nathan.
“So I have been told,” said Charles, waving a hand in the direction of, evidently, whomever had supplied this information.
“An' they ams burps!” supplied Toki.
“Oh! Do they make things EXPLODE with their burps?” asked Nathan, now looking piqued again.
“Ah. Well,” said Charles. “No. Not normally.”
Nathan retreated back into his chair like the collapse of a medium sized dark star. “Is Kam sure he wants this kid? I mean, maybe he wants something else! Like a motorcycle. Or a pizza.”
“Well, I believe he has given it due consideration....”
“And where is GANESH DUDE?”
“Uh,” said Charles, with a funny half smile, “well, he's either out getting pizza on his motorcycle....”
“THAT'S NOT FUNNY. You think you're funny. But you're not.”
“Or.... He's practicing voodoo spells. With Elegba.”
“Oh.”
“In which case,” said Charles crossing his arms, “I don't want the kid anywhere near.”
“Oh. Even your kid?” asked Nathan.
“Especially my kid,” vowed Charles. There was just the barest hint of silver, crossing his eyes, just then.
“So, you guys ams asked yet?” All parties in the room turned to the sound of Skwisgaar's voice, which came from the doorway, where he stood with Pickles,
“Asked about what?” Nathan demanded.
“Pfffft! Da concerts at da kid's Namin' t'ing!”
“We were having an important conversation about babies!” Nathan told him. “THEY'RE CUTE.”
Skiwsgaar and Pickles exchanged a very confused glance.
The meathook-impaled television hummed to life.
Pickles kicked the foot pedal while Nathan, sitting beside him, grumbled instructions. “Dog show: no. Fashion show: is it underwear? No. Bowling? For douches. Chicks sitting on a couch? Fuck that. Heavy metal cartoon, no. Dancing elephants. No....”
The screen switched to a picture of what looked like a large campaign rally.
“...you tell us what you see from there, Connie?”
“The bitch is batshit, Dan!”
“I fucking love Connie Conehead,” muttered Nathan, settling in.
The camera panned up to an image of the Goddess, standing at a podium.
“Oh, not that bitch,” grumbled Nathan. “Pickles!”
“Wait! Sche's wearing a really tight blousche!' protested Murderface.
A low growl formed in Nathan's throat, but he sat back again, settling into the folds of the couch as She began to speak.
“The mixing of blood is like a poison that is slowly gripping our country! For the good of the land, this mingling must cease! Human and angel were not meant to-”
But the rest of Her thoughts were lost to the residents of Mordhaus, as there was a large cracking noise, shortly after which the screen when blank. This had all been due to the impact of a steel-toed boot, which bounced once off the carpte and came to a rest.
The crowd on the couch turned as one, to see Kam the Tutor, who, until very recently, had been wearing said boot, and was now standing, red-faced, behind them, a tiny, somewhat puzzled-looking baby clasped in one arm.
“Oh!” said Kam, in apparent dawning shock at his own behavior. “Honored Dethklok! I am so terribly sorry!”
“Kam dood!” said Pickles.
“THAT WAS AWESOME!” said Nathan.
“I ams not t'inks about t'rowing da boots! Dat ams creaticockles!” marveled Skwisgaar.
“You got ANOTHER BOOT, right?” asked Nathan, pointing excitedly to the angel's feet. “Could you do it again?”
Kam, who was now rocking the infant in both arms, told Nathan, “Well, I believe so. If properly provoked.”
“Pickles! Hit the button to get another TV!” urged Nathan as Pickles kicked the foot pedals.
“Ams dis Jyoti?” asked Toki, who was now hovering over the dark-haired baby.
“This is...” said Kam. “This is my son.” And he got a funny little half smile.
“OK, guys. THIS IS A HUMAN BABY!” explained Nathan. “You can't bounce it off the balcony!” There were scattered moans.
“Dat's disappointin',” said Pickles.
“Do they make thingsch exschplode when they schneeze?” inquired Murderface.
“Uh, usually not?” answered a baffled Kam.
Some moments later, Charles arrived in the living room, holding Elias' small hand. “Uh, Kam, Pie said you.... Uh. What exactly are you guys doing?”
“What does it look like we're doing?” asked Nathan. “We're KILLING TELEVISIONS!” He raised a boot and shook it. There were Klokateers standing by with extra plasma TV screens, and a few more hooded workers with brooms and dustpans.
Kam, stood next to Nathan, holding a boot, shrugged a bit sheepishly.
“Lamps not doin' it for ya, huh?” asked Charles.
“And look we've had the baby here for at least ten minutes and we haven't killed it!” bragged Nathan, waving at Jyoti, who was now sleeping in Toki's lap.
Charles looked around the room and paused, seeming to consider something. “Well, unfortunately, I have to call Kam away....”
There were scattered moans. “We could go too!” said Nathan.
“...to do some really boring paperwork. Pages and pages. And, uh, then I'm going to explain the whole adoption process to Kam. About, how it works. In lots of detail. Lots and lots of detail....”
“TOKI!” said Nathan. Toki rose and handed Jyoti back to Kam. “Well, it's been great, we'll see you around next time maybe when you're finished with the paperwork.”
Charles allowed himself a very small smile as he led Kam out of the room and down the corridor towards his office. He noticed Elias had started tugging on his hands. “Whaddya need now? Oh, you wanna see?” He tugged Elias up to one hip. The boy stared in apparent wonder at the baby.
“Well, I suppose at least one party is not awfully disappointed,” smiled Kam.
“That's a baby, Boon. That's Jyoti,” said Charles.
“Dodi!”
When they arrived at Charles' office, Elias hopped up on his toes, gesturing to hold the baby.
“Is that OK?” Charles asked Kam, who nodded. “Sit in a chair, Boon.” The boy crawled into a chair and held out his arms. Kam carefully placed Jyoti in his arms. The baby blinked awake. Daark eyes appeared to scrutinize Elias for a moment, then the little boy smacked and drowsed again.
Boon leaned over the tiny child, grinned, and said, “Little Brother.”
“I didn't catch that,” said Kam.
Charles was silent for a moment. “He's.... He's speaking High Angelic. He doesn't usually do that,” he finally said.
“What did he say?”
“He said, 'Little Brother.' You know,” Charles continued, removing his glasses and wiping an eye with his sleeve. “Some people consider that an insult. But I never did.” He replaced his eyeglasses. “I never did.”
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kids
Warnings: Kids!
Notes: This one's sorta fluffy. I had a weird day. Give me a break.
Charles was juggling numbers in a particularly recalcitrant spreadsheet when the phone rang. Not taking his eyes from his laptop screen, he brought the handpiece to one shoulder. “Yeah, Raziel? Not yet. Yeah, you'll get cute pictures. I promise! Look, it's not as if your kids are off to college yet.” He frowned and pulled the handpiece off his shoulder, appearing to be staring at it. “Raziel, you are crying because you're kids are going to college in SIXTEEN YEARS? Yes. Yes.... Yes, I promise I will always be your … Little Brother. Unless I go to college. I went to.... I went to law school not college! You wouldn't let me! Maybe I wanna booze and hang out with sleazy women! OK. Yeah. Yes. Cute pictures. G'bye.”
He had just hung up the phone when he felt a tug on his pantleg.
“Weens, Dada?” inquired Elias.
“You want wings?”
“Uh-huh!” said Elias, emphasizing the request with a giant-sized yawn.
“'K. Minute.” Charles stood and, with a practiced air, began tugging off his shirt and tie (the jacket was already long since off, splayed rather carelessly over the back of his chair), meanwhile pushing his normal office chair back out of the way with one foot. He True Formed, grabbing another, armless chair (which better accommodated his winged form) and sliding it underneath himself.
“All right, climb on up,” Charles told Elias, with a pat to one leg. The boy had no sooner attained his lap than, soothed in part by his father's angelic form, he went limp and began producing a rather bone-rattling snore.
Charles had already brought his attention fully back to the spreadsheet. If he noticed the snore, or was indeed in any way hampered by the child in his arms, he gave no outward sign of this.
Some time later – it may have been a lot of time, or a little, but at any rate, Charles could not have told you, as he had not checked his watch – there was a slight commotion in the office doorway, and then there were musicians standing at the desk.
“Are we INTERRUPTING?” asked Nathan, in his very best imitation of a whisper.
Charles blinked. “Naw, I was almost through with this,” he said, pointing at the spreadsheet.
Nathan gestured a meaty paw instead in the direction of the sleeping kid.
“Oh. Ah. Naptime,” explained Charles. “I'll-”
But Toki was on Charles' side of the desk, stretching out his arms, so Charles handed off the sleeping child. Toki carefully put Elias over a shoulder, and then, humming a quiet tune, gently settled him down on one of the couches, being careful to snuggle a couple of well-loved plush toys near him.
“He's here a lot lately,” Nathan noted, settling his bulk comfortably into a chair.
Charles, who had Court Formed, was shrugging back into his shirt and sliding back his customary chair. “We gave the tutor a couple weeks off....”
“What, that Kam guy?” asked Nathan.
“Hims has da babies,” said Toki.
“Wait,” said Nathan. “I didn't see that. Do those Cherub guys like, bud off or something?”
“Uh, no, Nathan,” said Charles, “he's adopting a kid.”
“We got another kid?” asked Nathan, eagerly sitting forward.
“Uh,” Charles cautioned, steepling his hands in an authoritative manner, “Yeah. Jyoti. And he's mostly gonna stay up at Ganesh's place. For now. While he's, uh, getting adjusted.”
Nathan frowned as Toki, still humming, sat down next to him. “You think we'll kill him, don't you?” inquird the singer.
“The thought had occurred to me,” Charles admitted. “This is a human kid. You know.” His forehead creased slightly. “A baby?”
For whatever reason, Nathan gazed suspiciously at Toki, who said, “I ams not t'inks you can t'rows da baby from da balconies and dey am bounces, Nat'ans.”
“Oh. Well, that kind of sucks. Who designed those things, anyway? Don't they have wings?”
“Uh, no, Nathan,” said Charles. “Generally speaking, human babies do not come equipped with wings. Or extra arms for that matter.”
“Can they grow them?”
“Um. No.”
“What do you do with them? Seriously! They seem BORING. What's the appeal?”
“Well, so I have been told, they are cute.”
“They're CUTE?” asked Nathan.
“So I have been told,” said Charles, waving a hand in the direction of, evidently, whomever had supplied this information.
“An' they ams burps!” supplied Toki.
“Oh! Do they make things EXPLODE with their burps?” asked Nathan, now looking piqued again.
“Ah. Well,” said Charles. “No. Not normally.”
Nathan retreated back into his chair like the collapse of a medium sized dark star. “Is Kam sure he wants this kid? I mean, maybe he wants something else! Like a motorcycle. Or a pizza.”
“Well, I believe he has given it due consideration....”
“And where is GANESH DUDE?”
“Uh,” said Charles, with a funny half smile, “well, he's either out getting pizza on his motorcycle....”
“THAT'S NOT FUNNY. You think you're funny. But you're not.”
“Or.... He's practicing voodoo spells. With Elegba.”
“Oh.”
“In which case,” said Charles crossing his arms, “I don't want the kid anywhere near.”
“Oh. Even your kid?” asked Nathan.
“Especially my kid,” vowed Charles. There was just the barest hint of silver, crossing his eyes, just then.
“So, you guys ams asked yet?” All parties in the room turned to the sound of Skwisgaar's voice, which came from the doorway, where he stood with Pickles,
“Asked about what?” Nathan demanded.
“Pfffft! Da concerts at da kid's Namin' t'ing!”
“We were having an important conversation about babies!” Nathan told him. “THEY'RE CUTE.”
Skiwsgaar and Pickles exchanged a very confused glance.
The meathook-impaled television hummed to life.
Pickles kicked the foot pedal while Nathan, sitting beside him, grumbled instructions. “Dog show: no. Fashion show: is it underwear? No. Bowling? For douches. Chicks sitting on a couch? Fuck that. Heavy metal cartoon, no. Dancing elephants. No....”
The screen switched to a picture of what looked like a large campaign rally.
“...you tell us what you see from there, Connie?”
“The bitch is batshit, Dan!”
“I fucking love Connie Conehead,” muttered Nathan, settling in.
The camera panned up to an image of the Goddess, standing at a podium.
“Oh, not that bitch,” grumbled Nathan. “Pickles!”
“Wait! Sche's wearing a really tight blousche!' protested Murderface.
A low growl formed in Nathan's throat, but he sat back again, settling into the folds of the couch as She began to speak.
“The mixing of blood is like a poison that is slowly gripping our country! For the good of the land, this mingling must cease! Human and angel were not meant to-”
But the rest of Her thoughts were lost to the residents of Mordhaus, as there was a large cracking noise, shortly after which the screen when blank. This had all been due to the impact of a steel-toed boot, which bounced once off the carpte and came to a rest.
The crowd on the couch turned as one, to see Kam the Tutor, who, until very recently, had been wearing said boot, and was now standing, red-faced, behind them, a tiny, somewhat puzzled-looking baby clasped in one arm.
“Oh!” said Kam, in apparent dawning shock at his own behavior. “Honored Dethklok! I am so terribly sorry!”
“Kam dood!” said Pickles.
“THAT WAS AWESOME!” said Nathan.
“I ams not t'inks about t'rowing da boots! Dat ams creaticockles!” marveled Skwisgaar.
“You got ANOTHER BOOT, right?” asked Nathan, pointing excitedly to the angel's feet. “Could you do it again?”
Kam, who was now rocking the infant in both arms, told Nathan, “Well, I believe so. If properly provoked.”
“Pickles! Hit the button to get another TV!” urged Nathan as Pickles kicked the foot pedals.
“Ams dis Jyoti?” asked Toki, who was now hovering over the dark-haired baby.
“This is...” said Kam. “This is my son.” And he got a funny little half smile.
“OK, guys. THIS IS A HUMAN BABY!” explained Nathan. “You can't bounce it off the balcony!” There were scattered moans.
“Dat's disappointin',” said Pickles.
“Do they make thingsch exschplode when they schneeze?” inquired Murderface.
“Uh, usually not?” answered a baffled Kam.
Some moments later, Charles arrived in the living room, holding Elias' small hand. “Uh, Kam, Pie said you.... Uh. What exactly are you guys doing?”
“What does it look like we're doing?” asked Nathan. “We're KILLING TELEVISIONS!” He raised a boot and shook it. There were Klokateers standing by with extra plasma TV screens, and a few more hooded workers with brooms and dustpans.
Kam, stood next to Nathan, holding a boot, shrugged a bit sheepishly.
“Lamps not doin' it for ya, huh?” asked Charles.
“And look we've had the baby here for at least ten minutes and we haven't killed it!” bragged Nathan, waving at Jyoti, who was now sleeping in Toki's lap.
Charles looked around the room and paused, seeming to consider something. “Well, unfortunately, I have to call Kam away....”
There were scattered moans. “We could go too!” said Nathan.
“...to do some really boring paperwork. Pages and pages. And, uh, then I'm going to explain the whole adoption process to Kam. About, how it works. In lots of detail. Lots and lots of detail....”
“TOKI!” said Nathan. Toki rose and handed Jyoti back to Kam. “Well, it's been great, we'll see you around next time maybe when you're finished with the paperwork.”
Charles allowed himself a very small smile as he led Kam out of the room and down the corridor towards his office. He noticed Elias had started tugging on his hands. “Whaddya need now? Oh, you wanna see?” He tugged Elias up to one hip. The boy stared in apparent wonder at the baby.
“Well, I suppose at least one party is not awfully disappointed,” smiled Kam.
“That's a baby, Boon. That's Jyoti,” said Charles.
“Dodi!”
When they arrived at Charles' office, Elias hopped up on his toes, gesturing to hold the baby.
“Is that OK?” Charles asked Kam, who nodded. “Sit in a chair, Boon.” The boy crawled into a chair and held out his arms. Kam carefully placed Jyoti in his arms. The baby blinked awake. Daark eyes appeared to scrutinize Elias for a moment, then the little boy smacked and drowsed again.
Boon leaned over the tiny child, grinned, and said, “Little Brother.”
“I didn't catch that,” said Kam.
Charles was silent for a moment. “He's.... He's speaking High Angelic. He doesn't usually do that,” he finally said.
“What did he say?”
“He said, 'Little Brother.' You know,” Charles continued, removing his glasses and wiping an eye with his sleeve. “Some people consider that an insult. But I never did.” He replaced his eyeglasses. “I never did.”
