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tikificTitle: There Will Be Blood (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Raziel tells a scary bedtime story
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs
Notes: I wrote this while waiting for my soup to cool. Yeah, really. Also based on this weird doll: http://www.pullipdolldreams.com/blog/pullips/pullip-yomi-october-2011-release_829
“What's the matter, Sariel? You're looking pale!”
“Well, of course I'm pale! I'M A FUCKING VAMPIRE!” said Sariel, slumping onto the couch in Raziel's parlour.
“Sure you wouldn't like a little snack?” she asked, holding out a pretty boy who was sitting next to her by his stiff collar.
“Naw,” said Sariel, waving her off. “I fed on an Australian earlier, and my stomach's a bit off.”
“I've warned you about foreign food, haven't I?” she asked, patting the pretty boy on the cheek. “Oh, look who's up!” she squealed as the tiny baby vampire fluttered into the room on his little bat wings.
“Want some blood, kid?” asked Sariel, pulling out a bottle filled with red gooey liquid as the little vampire nestled on his lap.
“Wait, I have a baby vampire?” asked Sariel. “How the fuck does that work?”
“But they're so cuuuuute!” cooed Raziel, as Elias stood in his crib, batting his little eyes at her. “They have teensy little fangs!” she elaborated, pointing two fingers as teeth.
“But how the hell did I get a vampire kid?” Sariel pressed.
“Oh, it's not actually you! It's just a vampire who happens to be named Sariel. And he has a baby vampire named GLOOM!”
“GOOM!” agreed Elias.
“OK, now you're just pandering,” grumbled Sariel.
“I'm trying to tell a scary story about vampires!”
“But it defies logical sense!” Sariel protested.
“Vampires don't exist, Sariel!” huffed Raziel.
“Don't you need to go traumatize your own kids?”
“And what are we doing in here?” inquired Ganesh.
“Raziel is filling our boy's head with nonsense again,” Sariel tattled.
“Splendid! What is the story tonight?”
“Vampire Sariel and his baby vampire, Gloom! Could you take it from here? I've got to go Simoniz the wolves,” said Raziel, disappearing.
“Certainly!” said Ganesh, taking a seat. “And so there was a handsome elephant vampire....”
“There's not such thing as an elephant vampire!” Sariel told him.
“There is no such thing as a vampire.”
“And, let me guess! Vampire Elephant was all dressed in Emporio Armani?”
“Heavens no! He was dressed in Alexander McQueen!”
Sariel sighed. “OK, I got you this time! Vampires don't show up in mirrors! How did the handsome elephant vampire KNOW he was handsome.”
“Well OF COURSE he was handsome! He was an elephant vampire!”
“BAAP!” said Elias. “An' Goom go fwy?”
“Why, yes,” said Ganesh. “Little Gloom flew all the way to the kitchen, where he made his Baap some lovely martinis.”
“I thought you were a vampire? Why are you drinking martinis?” demanded Sariel.
“Vampire elephants adore blood martinis. Especially dry ones, light on the plasma. Now, if we may continue?”
“Baap! Baap! An' Goom an' bie?” asked Elias.
“Well, yes, his auntie had just made little Gloom a lovely pie....”
“But he's a vampire baby!” protested Sariel.
“...a lovely RHUBARB and blood pie! With a mouth-watering tarantula-studded crust! And Gloom ate a lot of the pie, and his little tummy was full, and he got VERY sleepy....”
“That's never gonna work,” Sariel whispered.
Elias suddenly produced a huge vampire yawn.
“And he laid down in his little vampire coffin, and dreamed sweet vampire dreams of dripping blood and gore!” whispered Ganesh, tucking a little plush vampire elephant and vampire angel close to his son.
Elias, as if on cue, produced a hearty vampire snore.
“How did you do that?” whispered Sariel, rising and leaving the room.
“Vampire elephant magic!” Ganesh grinned, quietly shutting the door to Gloom's tomb behind him.
"I wanna blood martini," grumbled Sariel.
"We will give you extra serum and olives, dear."
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Raziel tells a scary bedtime story
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs
Notes: I wrote this while waiting for my soup to cool. Yeah, really. Also based on this weird doll: http://www.pullipdolldreams.com/blog/pullips/pullip-yomi-october-2011-release_829
“What's the matter, Sariel? You're looking pale!”
“Well, of course I'm pale! I'M A FUCKING VAMPIRE!” said Sariel, slumping onto the couch in Raziel's parlour.
“Sure you wouldn't like a little snack?” she asked, holding out a pretty boy who was sitting next to her by his stiff collar.
“Naw,” said Sariel, waving her off. “I fed on an Australian earlier, and my stomach's a bit off.”
“I've warned you about foreign food, haven't I?” she asked, patting the pretty boy on the cheek. “Oh, look who's up!” she squealed as the tiny baby vampire fluttered into the room on his little bat wings.
“Want some blood, kid?” asked Sariel, pulling out a bottle filled with red gooey liquid as the little vampire nestled on his lap.
“Wait, I have a baby vampire?” asked Sariel. “How the fuck does that work?”
“But they're so cuuuuute!” cooed Raziel, as Elias stood in his crib, batting his little eyes at her. “They have teensy little fangs!” she elaborated, pointing two fingers as teeth.
“But how the hell did I get a vampire kid?” Sariel pressed.
“Oh, it's not actually you! It's just a vampire who happens to be named Sariel. And he has a baby vampire named GLOOM!”
“GOOM!” agreed Elias.
“OK, now you're just pandering,” grumbled Sariel.
“I'm trying to tell a scary story about vampires!”
“But it defies logical sense!” Sariel protested.
“Vampires don't exist, Sariel!” huffed Raziel.
“Don't you need to go traumatize your own kids?”
“And what are we doing in here?” inquired Ganesh.
“Raziel is filling our boy's head with nonsense again,” Sariel tattled.
“Splendid! What is the story tonight?”
“Vampire Sariel and his baby vampire, Gloom! Could you take it from here? I've got to go Simoniz the wolves,” said Raziel, disappearing.
“Certainly!” said Ganesh, taking a seat. “And so there was a handsome elephant vampire....”
“There's not such thing as an elephant vampire!” Sariel told him.
“There is no such thing as a vampire.”
“And, let me guess! Vampire Elephant was all dressed in Emporio Armani?”
“Heavens no! He was dressed in Alexander McQueen!”
Sariel sighed. “OK, I got you this time! Vampires don't show up in mirrors! How did the handsome elephant vampire KNOW he was handsome.”
“Well OF COURSE he was handsome! He was an elephant vampire!”
“BAAP!” said Elias. “An' Goom go fwy?”
“Why, yes,” said Ganesh. “Little Gloom flew all the way to the kitchen, where he made his Baap some lovely martinis.”
“I thought you were a vampire? Why are you drinking martinis?” demanded Sariel.
“Vampire elephants adore blood martinis. Especially dry ones, light on the plasma. Now, if we may continue?”
“Baap! Baap! An' Goom an' bie?” asked Elias.
“Well, yes, his auntie had just made little Gloom a lovely pie....”
“But he's a vampire baby!” protested Sariel.
“...a lovely RHUBARB and blood pie! With a mouth-watering tarantula-studded crust! And Gloom ate a lot of the pie, and his little tummy was full, and he got VERY sleepy....”
“That's never gonna work,” Sariel whispered.
Elias suddenly produced a huge vampire yawn.
“And he laid down in his little vampire coffin, and dreamed sweet vampire dreams of dripping blood and gore!” whispered Ganesh, tucking a little plush vampire elephant and vampire angel close to his son.
Elias, as if on cue, produced a hearty vampire snore.
“How did you do that?” whispered Sariel, rising and leaving the room.
“Vampire elephant magic!” Ganesh grinned, quietly shutting the door to Gloom's tomb behind him.
"I wanna blood martini," grumbled Sariel.
"We will give you extra serum and olives, dear."
