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tikificTitle: The Couture Bites Back (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Fashion emergency
Warnings: AU, OCs, slash, swearing.
Notes: You can totally blame Sushi for this
"Well, this is a pretty pickle!"
"Ganesha! Less meta-analysis, more help."
"Is that what you require?” Ganesh asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. “Your text was a bit vague!"
"What exactly did she text you?" asked Charles.
"FE:IAR."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Fashion emergency, immediate assistance required,” Ganesh supplied.
"You have an abbreviation for that?"
"Why of course! There's also, FE:HMRM (Fashion emergency, horrible Milan runway model): FE:C ID (Fashion emergency: criminally inept designer); FE:GCNS (Fashion emergency: George Clooney wearing new suit); FE:BV (Fashion emergency: bring Vogue Italia)..."
"Wait, what if you just wanna Vogue?"
"FE:BVUSA," said Raziel.
"FE:DD, if someone's on Extra with a dreadful dress...." Ganesh continued.
"You realize you guys text way too gods damn much?" Charles asked.
"What is he doing here anyway?" Raziel sighed.
"Well, he is my fiancé. He does tend to hang round,” Ganesh explained.
"What about your kid?" Raziel asked.
"Aw shit, did we leave him by the roadside again?" asked Charles. "What about your kids?"
"I dunno. Wotan was teaching them to shoot handguns or something."
"It's good to be an involved parent,” Charles told her.
"Our little one is spending the day with his Auntie Sarasvati," Ganesh supplied.
"Oh, gods, she's not gonna show him Dumbo again is she?" asked Charles.
"What is wrong with Dumbo? Tis an animated classic!"
"Why is it always elephants? Why can’t she show him a nice film about angels for a change?”
“Are there nice films about angels?”
“Sariel,” said Raziel. “Elephants are sweet, intelligent and noble. And people like them. Angels are vaguely creepy and psychotic.”
“Sounds like it would make a good movie for kids,” Charles grumbled.
“Ganesha! Are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand around doing film criticism!” Raziel asked.
“What exactly do you require?” Ganesh inquired, assessing the currently quite contorted little angel.
“I was trying on the dress I’m gonna wear to your ceremony, and I got stuck halfway through!”
“It’s a big challenge for the fashionista! Putting on your clothes!” Charles snickered.
“I gotta either figure out how to get it all the way on, or at least how to get back out!”
“You can’t retrace your, er, steps to remove it?”
“IT WON’T LET ME! LOOK!” Raziel attempted to extract an arm from what was apparently a sleeve, only to have the fabric tighten around her like a Chinese puzzle.
“Hrm,” said Ganesh. “We could perhaps at this juncture cut it off….”
“YOU CAN’T GET SCISSORS CLOSE TO THIS COUTURE IT’S ALEXANDER MCQUEEN I WON’T SEE IT MUTILATED I’LL DIE INSIDE IT-“
“All right! All right!” soothed Ganesh.
“We could get some scrap wood and build her a funeral pyre,” Charles laughed.
"All right,” said Ganesh, quickly assessing this couture related emergency. “First," he said, thereupon picking up Charles, who squawked in protest, and depositing him on the bed. "There we go. Sit! Stay! Good angel," Ganesh grinned, patting Charles on the head. “Now!” he said, turning to Raziel. “I think it will be easier stepping you back out.”
“You guys want some Vaseline? Or some pliers?” asked Charles.
“Shush, you!” said Ganesh, snapping his fingers. “Or no pie!” Charles crossed his arms and glowered as Ganesh slowly attempted to extract limbs from sleeves.
“Ow! I don’t bend like that!” Raziel told him.
“Really? Because Sariel-“
“I don’t think I wanna know.”
“I think you have your head in a sleeve. Or, hrm. I’m not quite certain. Oh, wait, there we go!”
“THANK YOU GANESHA!” squealed the newly freed Raziel, glomming onto Ganesh.
“Hey! No naked hugging my finace!” Charles scolded.
“Aw, I’m wearing underpants. This is more than I usually wear to the beach,” Raziel told him.
“It was not unpleasant!” Ganesh grinned. He regarded Charles, who was staring daggers at him. “Er.”
Raziel who had thrown on a robe, picked up the discarded outfit. “I wonder where I went wrong?”
Ganesh squinted at it. He picked it up upside-down, and then inverted it again. “Er. Maybe if we tried this step by step?”
“I could take notes.”
“That might not be possible, however, if you’re trapped inside again. We have need of a mannequin.”
Suddenly, both Ganesh and Raziel were staring at Charles.
“What? What do you guys- Oh, no way! NO FUCKING WAY!”
“There we go!” concluded Ganesh. “Now we have complete step by step instructions on donning your couture. Another fashion emergency solved!” he said proudly.
“But….” Raziel sighed.
“What can be the matter now?”
“IT LOOKS BETTER ON HIM THAT IT DID ON ME!” she wailed, indicating a spitting mad Charles, who was now quite solidly encased in a florid Alexander McQueen gown.
“Well, he has fantastic legs, true, though the cleavage is a little hairy. Hrm,” said Ganesh.
“ARE YOU GUYS GONNA GET ME OUT OF THIS SHIT?” Charles howled.
“Patience, Sariel. Hrm,” said Ganesh, flourishing a Vogue. “Have you considered as an alternative something from Christopher Kane’s collection? His lava lamp inspired couture is witty as well as daring!”
“And you can tell what’s a sleeve and what’s a neck hole. That’s a great idea.”
“GET ME OUTTA THIS FUCKING DRESS!” Charles screamed. “I’ll go True Form and tear the thing off.”
“Oh, I already tried that, Sariel,” Raziel told him. “You’ll just get your wings tangled up.”
“GANESH!!”
“Hrm. So,” asked Ganesh, “may I assume you are not longer intending to wear that piece?” he said,waving a hand at a now literally hopping mad Charles.
“Yeah, screw it,” said Raziel, thumbing through the Vogue. “You can cut it off if you want.”
“That’s not QUITE what I had in mind, but it’s close,” grinned Ganesh. “All right, let’s get you out of this gown,” he said, suddenly picking up a very surprised Charles. “Some place private,” he added, disappearing.
“What was all that racket?” boomed Wotan, suddenly coming into the bedroom with a twin in each arm.
“Ganesh and Sariel were helping me with my wedding outfit!” Raziel told him.
“You still fussing over that? Wait, Ganesh AND Sariel? When did that boy ever give a hang about clothes?”
“Oh, he was VERY helpful.”
Suddenly, there was a loud bang. Everyone cringed, and then all looked up to where a picture had been knocked off a wall.
“What did I tell you about keeping the safety on young man!” Wotan asked Liam, who giggled and waved his little handgun. “Hmpf! Angels!”
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Fashion emergency
Warnings: AU, OCs, slash, swearing.
Notes: You can totally blame Sushi for this
"Well, this is a pretty pickle!"
"Ganesha! Less meta-analysis, more help."
"Is that what you require?” Ganesh asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. “Your text was a bit vague!"
"What exactly did she text you?" asked Charles.
"FE:IAR."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Fashion emergency, immediate assistance required,” Ganesh supplied.
"You have an abbreviation for that?"
"Why of course! There's also, FE:HMRM (Fashion emergency, horrible Milan runway model): FE:C ID (Fashion emergency: criminally inept designer); FE:GCNS (Fashion emergency: George Clooney wearing new suit); FE:BV (Fashion emergency: bring Vogue Italia)..."
"Wait, what if you just wanna Vogue?"
"FE:BVUSA," said Raziel.
"FE:DD, if someone's on Extra with a dreadful dress...." Ganesh continued.
"You realize you guys text way too gods damn much?" Charles asked.
"What is he doing here anyway?" Raziel sighed.
"Well, he is my fiancé. He does tend to hang round,” Ganesh explained.
"What about your kid?" Raziel asked.
"Aw shit, did we leave him by the roadside again?" asked Charles. "What about your kids?"
"I dunno. Wotan was teaching them to shoot handguns or something."
"It's good to be an involved parent,” Charles told her.
"Our little one is spending the day with his Auntie Sarasvati," Ganesh supplied.
"Oh, gods, she's not gonna show him Dumbo again is she?" asked Charles.
"What is wrong with Dumbo? Tis an animated classic!"
"Why is it always elephants? Why can’t she show him a nice film about angels for a change?”
“Are there nice films about angels?”
“Sariel,” said Raziel. “Elephants are sweet, intelligent and noble. And people like them. Angels are vaguely creepy and psychotic.”
“Sounds like it would make a good movie for kids,” Charles grumbled.
“Ganesha! Are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand around doing film criticism!” Raziel asked.
“What exactly do you require?” Ganesh inquired, assessing the currently quite contorted little angel.
“I was trying on the dress I’m gonna wear to your ceremony, and I got stuck halfway through!”
“It’s a big challenge for the fashionista! Putting on your clothes!” Charles snickered.
“I gotta either figure out how to get it all the way on, or at least how to get back out!”
“You can’t retrace your, er, steps to remove it?”
“IT WON’T LET ME! LOOK!” Raziel attempted to extract an arm from what was apparently a sleeve, only to have the fabric tighten around her like a Chinese puzzle.
“Hrm,” said Ganesh. “We could perhaps at this juncture cut it off….”
“YOU CAN’T GET SCISSORS CLOSE TO THIS COUTURE IT’S ALEXANDER MCQUEEN I WON’T SEE IT MUTILATED I’LL DIE INSIDE IT-“
“All right! All right!” soothed Ganesh.
“We could get some scrap wood and build her a funeral pyre,” Charles laughed.
"All right,” said Ganesh, quickly assessing this couture related emergency. “First," he said, thereupon picking up Charles, who squawked in protest, and depositing him on the bed. "There we go. Sit! Stay! Good angel," Ganesh grinned, patting Charles on the head. “Now!” he said, turning to Raziel. “I think it will be easier stepping you back out.”
“You guys want some Vaseline? Or some pliers?” asked Charles.
“Shush, you!” said Ganesh, snapping his fingers. “Or no pie!” Charles crossed his arms and glowered as Ganesh slowly attempted to extract limbs from sleeves.
“Ow! I don’t bend like that!” Raziel told him.
“Really? Because Sariel-“
“I don’t think I wanna know.”
“I think you have your head in a sleeve. Or, hrm. I’m not quite certain. Oh, wait, there we go!”
“THANK YOU GANESHA!” squealed the newly freed Raziel, glomming onto Ganesh.
“Hey! No naked hugging my finace!” Charles scolded.
“Aw, I’m wearing underpants. This is more than I usually wear to the beach,” Raziel told him.
“It was not unpleasant!” Ganesh grinned. He regarded Charles, who was staring daggers at him. “Er.”
Raziel who had thrown on a robe, picked up the discarded outfit. “I wonder where I went wrong?”
Ganesh squinted at it. He picked it up upside-down, and then inverted it again. “Er. Maybe if we tried this step by step?”
“I could take notes.”
“That might not be possible, however, if you’re trapped inside again. We have need of a mannequin.”
Suddenly, both Ganesh and Raziel were staring at Charles.
“What? What do you guys- Oh, no way! NO FUCKING WAY!”
“There we go!” concluded Ganesh. “Now we have complete step by step instructions on donning your couture. Another fashion emergency solved!” he said proudly.
“But….” Raziel sighed.
“What can be the matter now?”
“IT LOOKS BETTER ON HIM THAT IT DID ON ME!” she wailed, indicating a spitting mad Charles, who was now quite solidly encased in a florid Alexander McQueen gown.
“Well, he has fantastic legs, true, though the cleavage is a little hairy. Hrm,” said Ganesh.
“ARE YOU GUYS GONNA GET ME OUT OF THIS SHIT?” Charles howled.
“Patience, Sariel. Hrm,” said Ganesh, flourishing a Vogue. “Have you considered as an alternative something from Christopher Kane’s collection? His lava lamp inspired couture is witty as well as daring!”
“And you can tell what’s a sleeve and what’s a neck hole. That’s a great idea.”
“GET ME OUTTA THIS FUCKING DRESS!” Charles screamed. “I’ll go True Form and tear the thing off.”
“Oh, I already tried that, Sariel,” Raziel told him. “You’ll just get your wings tangled up.”
“GANESH!!”
“Hrm. So,” asked Ganesh, “may I assume you are not longer intending to wear that piece?” he said,waving a hand at a now literally hopping mad Charles.
“Yeah, screw it,” said Raziel, thumbing through the Vogue. “You can cut it off if you want.”
“That’s not QUITE what I had in mind, but it’s close,” grinned Ganesh. “All right, let’s get you out of this gown,” he said, suddenly picking up a very surprised Charles. “Some place private,” he added, disappearing.
“What was all that racket?” boomed Wotan, suddenly coming into the bedroom with a twin in each arm.
“Ganesh and Sariel were helping me with my wedding outfit!” Raziel told him.
“You still fussing over that? Wait, Ganesh AND Sariel? When did that boy ever give a hang about clothes?”
“Oh, he was VERY helpful.”
Suddenly, there was a loud bang. Everyone cringed, and then all looked up to where a picture had been knocked off a wall.
“What did I tell you about keeping the safety on young man!” Wotan asked Liam, who giggled and waved his little handgun. “Hmpf! Angels!”
