REPORT (Mythklok Interstitial)
May. 14th, 2011 04:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: REPORT (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A class project
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
Notes: I really am working on the next chapter. Really! Plus drinking Kahlua.
So I am ELIAS and I am eight years old and my tutor Kam asked me to write a report all about myself so here it is.
Here is my Name, it is SHRI BRAHMA VISHNU MAHESHWARA ELIAS OGOUN SEN MICHEL and Kam helped me spell it all out so it is correct and there was a big Naming ceremony for me although I don't remember much because I was too small but there were elephants which was good because they are the best animal except for maybe monkeys sometimes and I have an elephant that my AUNTIE SARASVATI gave me when I was small and sometimes I still take him out because he needs me to talk to him. My AUNTIE SARASVATI and UNCLE BRAHMA live in the Heavens, and my uncle calls me Brahma even though nobody else calls me that and then Auntie will make us pie and my dad will get a tummy ache and he tells my dad to be SYMPATHETIC but he is not.
I am small. I am small for my age. My dad says he was small for his age too though now he is tall. But my dad says he was small for his age and then he just stayed small, but I don't know why he is upset because he is exactly the right size, like when he needs somebody to sit in his lap I fit there just right and then I can show him many things like how to use PHOTOSHOP which is on the computer so it is hard for him to work. He never has pretty stuff to look at on his computer so I feel sad for him so I make him nice stuff.
But my dad makes pictures a weird way where you take paper and rub gooey stuff all over it and it makes a picture. It is fun to put your hand in the paint and then chase your cousin, though then she waves her sword and Auntie Raziel will tell us to stop. But some day Auntie says I will be an IMPORTANT VISUAL ARTIST which will be good because then I will have pretty stuff on my laptop and not have to say words to it like my dad does.
AUNTIE RAZIEL is my Auntie and she Named me Boon even though that isn't really my Name and she lives with my UNCLE WOTAN and he is really big and he has a big horse SLEIPNIR and I can ride my own horse now because I am big even though I am small for my age.
And my cousins are there they are LIAM and he is my best friend for life because we decided this would be a good thing back when we were 6 and also there is ABBY and she is my cousin too and some day we will be married and also she can knock all the swords out of my hands even if I use all four arms to fight her but she does not like slugs due to being a girl.
And there is also PAPA JACQUE and he is my Papa and he calls me SEN MICHEL even though no one else does. He always asks if I am smoking cigars yet and I tell him no and my dad laughs, but my dad gets all frowny. And, he is teaching me SANTERIA and I will be an IFA and sometime I do spells with Papa and my dad and ELEGBA and he is really tall to and sometimes things blow up and my dad says Oops and it is really cool though my dad says not to tell my dad. And sometimes I go on Papa's pirate ship with my dad and we go to PILLAGE and my dad says not to tell my dad.
And my dad works for DETHKLOK and they are really big and they are famous and they are UNCLE NATHAN and UNCLE PICKLES and UNCLE TOKI and UNCLE MURDERFACE and also SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF who goes Pffft. And I asked my dad what Pffft means and he just pushes up his shoulders. I like Nathan he is the biggest and he calls me DEMON KID even though it makes my dad frown. And Uncle Pickles is my favorite uncle and he is the very coolest and he is teaching me to play the drums though I cannot reach the foot pedals yet and also he says it is better to play when you have had his SPECIAL BLEND and I asked my dad about that but he says I cannot try any untli I am at least 37 years old which seems very old.
And Dethklok is a band so they go around the world on TOURS and things will blow up almost as much as with Papa Jacque. And when they go and tour then there are a lot of people who are still alive afterwards and come and want to visit them in their rooms and I asked my dad what they talk about and why they need handcuffs and my dad says to ask him when I'm older but my dad says to just read MY LITTLE KAMA SUTRA, but I looked through the book and I can't find any picture with that many people in him so I told my dad maybe he needs to write a new better book and he says hmmm maybe he will go investigate but my dad says oh no way.
And there us UNCLE DICK KNUBBLER, who is an angel like me, and he is a RECORD PRODUCER, so sometimes he makes Dethklok sit in a small room and they all eat a lot of French Toast and yell interesting words to each other and I don't know what they mean so I go ask my cousin because even if he doesn't know he will make up a good story. And Uncle Dick is an angel too and he can speak COMMON with me even though my dad can't. And when I was little I used to think everybody was an angel even though everybody is not because also there are GODS. And also there are HUMANS, though I don't understand them too well, but I sometimes go with my dad on MISSIONS and we help them when they are sick, and also my dad says they buy DETH MERCH and they are our BREAD AND BUTTER, and my dad says my dad shouldn't be so crass and my dad says to bite him, and sometimes he does, and then they tell me to go to bed and study. I do not know for sure what they are doing but Liam says there are probably handcuffs.
So this is my report and this is all about me and my family and my dad read it and he said it looks good and am I hungry for pie now but my dad said what is my CONCLUSION. So I said I concluded that I wanted I wanted DUTCH APPLE and my dad say Oh gods that is your son and my dad said not if he eats all the pie first so I must go race him to the kitchen now because he cheats.
XXXXXX
Boon
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A class project
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
Notes: I really am working on the next chapter. Really! Plus drinking Kahlua.
So I am ELIAS and I am eight years old and my tutor Kam asked me to write a report all about myself so here it is.
Here is my Name, it is SHRI BRAHMA VISHNU MAHESHWARA ELIAS OGOUN SEN MICHEL and Kam helped me spell it all out so it is correct and there was a big Naming ceremony for me although I don't remember much because I was too small but there were elephants which was good because they are the best animal except for maybe monkeys sometimes and I have an elephant that my AUNTIE SARASVATI gave me when I was small and sometimes I still take him out because he needs me to talk to him. My AUNTIE SARASVATI and UNCLE BRAHMA live in the Heavens, and my uncle calls me Brahma even though nobody else calls me that and then Auntie will make us pie and my dad will get a tummy ache and he tells my dad to be SYMPATHETIC but he is not.
I am small. I am small for my age. My dad says he was small for his age too though now he is tall. But my dad says he was small for his age and then he just stayed small, but I don't know why he is upset because he is exactly the right size, like when he needs somebody to sit in his lap I fit there just right and then I can show him many things like how to use PHOTOSHOP which is on the computer so it is hard for him to work. He never has pretty stuff to look at on his computer so I feel sad for him so I make him nice stuff.
But my dad makes pictures a weird way where you take paper and rub gooey stuff all over it and it makes a picture. It is fun to put your hand in the paint and then chase your cousin, though then she waves her sword and Auntie Raziel will tell us to stop. But some day Auntie says I will be an IMPORTANT VISUAL ARTIST which will be good because then I will have pretty stuff on my laptop and not have to say words to it like my dad does.
AUNTIE RAZIEL is my Auntie and she Named me Boon even though that isn't really my Name and she lives with my UNCLE WOTAN and he is really big and he has a big horse SLEIPNIR and I can ride my own horse now because I am big even though I am small for my age.
And my cousins are there they are LIAM and he is my best friend for life because we decided this would be a good thing back when we were 6 and also there is ABBY and she is my cousin too and some day we will be married and also she can knock all the swords out of my hands even if I use all four arms to fight her but she does not like slugs due to being a girl.
And there is also PAPA JACQUE and he is my Papa and he calls me SEN MICHEL even though no one else does. He always asks if I am smoking cigars yet and I tell him no and my dad laughs, but my dad gets all frowny. And, he is teaching me SANTERIA and I will be an IFA and sometime I do spells with Papa and my dad and ELEGBA and he is really tall to and sometimes things blow up and my dad says Oops and it is really cool though my dad says not to tell my dad. And sometimes I go on Papa's pirate ship with my dad and we go to PILLAGE and my dad says not to tell my dad.
And my dad works for DETHKLOK and they are really big and they are famous and they are UNCLE NATHAN and UNCLE PICKLES and UNCLE TOKI and UNCLE MURDERFACE and also SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF who goes Pffft. And I asked my dad what Pffft means and he just pushes up his shoulders. I like Nathan he is the biggest and he calls me DEMON KID even though it makes my dad frown. And Uncle Pickles is my favorite uncle and he is the very coolest and he is teaching me to play the drums though I cannot reach the foot pedals yet and also he says it is better to play when you have had his SPECIAL BLEND and I asked my dad about that but he says I cannot try any untli I am at least 37 years old which seems very old.
And Dethklok is a band so they go around the world on TOURS and things will blow up almost as much as with Papa Jacque. And when they go and tour then there are a lot of people who are still alive afterwards and come and want to visit them in their rooms and I asked my dad what they talk about and why they need handcuffs and my dad says to ask him when I'm older but my dad says to just read MY LITTLE KAMA SUTRA, but I looked through the book and I can't find any picture with that many people in him so I told my dad maybe he needs to write a new better book and he says hmmm maybe he will go investigate but my dad says oh no way.
And there us UNCLE DICK KNUBBLER, who is an angel like me, and he is a RECORD PRODUCER, so sometimes he makes Dethklok sit in a small room and they all eat a lot of French Toast and yell interesting words to each other and I don't know what they mean so I go ask my cousin because even if he doesn't know he will make up a good story. And Uncle Dick is an angel too and he can speak COMMON with me even though my dad can't. And when I was little I used to think everybody was an angel even though everybody is not because also there are GODS. And also there are HUMANS, though I don't understand them too well, but I sometimes go with my dad on MISSIONS and we help them when they are sick, and also my dad says they buy DETH MERCH and they are our BREAD AND BUTTER, and my dad says my dad shouldn't be so crass and my dad says to bite him, and sometimes he does, and then they tell me to go to bed and study. I do not know for sure what they are doing but Liam says there are probably handcuffs.
So this is my report and this is all about me and my family and my dad read it and he said it looks good and am I hungry for pie now but my dad said what is my CONCLUSION. So I said I concluded that I wanted I wanted DUTCH APPLE and my dad say Oh gods that is your son and my dad said not if he eats all the pie first so I must go race him to the kitchen now because he cheats.
XXXXXX
Boon
