The Chibi Demon Hunters of Asgard
Apr. 8th, 2011 08:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: The Chibi Demon Hunters of Asgard (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: G
Summary: Don’t tangle with angel babies
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
Notes: This one contains a pretty big spoiler for Chapter 43 if you haven’t read it yet. Also, to be clear, this takes place a year or two IN THE FUTURE in the continuity.
Not too many years from now....
Somewhere in the gardens of Asgard sat a young maiden with raven hair and cornflower blue eyes.
She was a very, very young maiden.
If she had been able to talk - or at least to talk so any grownups in the vicinity might understand - she would have described her current activity as playing Pretty Pretty Princess. The game so far went as thus: Pretty Pretty Princess, who wore robes of sparkling pink and sported very stylish glittery purple hair, rode her rainbow colored magical steed off to meet the terrible demon.
Suddenly, the demon was nigh!!
With one strike of her sharp little sword, Pretty Pretty Princess disemboweled the beast.
The organs fell, steaming, to the ground with a satisfying plop.
And then she beheaded the terrible monster with a clean blow of her shining blade. The blood shot out in a lovely crimson gusher. Victory!
As it happened. Lady Abigail was so intent upon this narrative that she was surprised to look up and find an actual demon staring down at her.
It was a bog demon, one that was rather common to find in the clearings of these parts. It was a rather huge beast: larger even than William Murderface off his diet, it must have weighed at least a ton. It spent its days trundling about on four legs, looking for young maidens to annoy. Its huge gnarled head was now inches from hers, terrible nostrils flared and snorting, saliva dribbling from the corners of its fanged mouth.
It really wasn’t all that different from William Murderface off his diet.
As Abby blinked and clutched Pretty Pretty Princess to her, the demon scowled and trod maliciously on her noble steed with one great hooved foot.
Lady Abigail, smart beyond her years, beat a strategic retreat in order to fetch reinforcements. She ran along on her very short legs until she found her brother, Lord Liam, and cousin, Elias (title as yet to be determined, though he definitely had an assortment of colorfully titled relatives).
Said acquaintances had demurred the playing of Pretty Pretty Princess as they were currently wallowing in their own version of Boy Nirvana. They had found a muddy patch in the same field possessed of numerous ugly bog slugs. They were currently in an informal but nonetheless spirited (not to mention terribly muddy) contest to locate the largest and ugliest.
They looked up to behold the damsel in distress in their midst. Although, as we have discussed, Abby was not yet possessed of adult speech, she made her distress clear through the universal language of blubbering. Lord Liam at first attempted comfort by displaying to her a particularly large and gnarled slug, but, oddly, his sister would have none of that. It was up to the young swain, Elias, to give comfort with a rather sticky, slobbery kiss and then a hug inside one of his silvery tipped wings.
"Gwungle," Abby explained, wiping her tears on a frilly sleeve.
Well of course, this terrible injustice could not go unmet. As son of a king, Liam decided to take immediate action. “Blarrghabranggle!” he told them, and there was much agreement with the suggestion.
The bog demon, foul thing, was still sitting in the exact same spot, idly chewing on Pretty Pretty Princess’s noble steed. Modern plastics being what they were, it had found, much to its frustration and puzzlement, that its vicious fangs had as yet been ineffective in causing any damage to the item.
Suddenly, the demon reeled. A small angel, fluttering overhead on silver-tipped wings, had just dumped an armload of bog slugs on its head. Bog demons hate bog slugs, as they find them icky. It stood in panic and tried to shake off the slugs, and then, having no luck, bolted.
And was felled. It looked back, now panicking. Much like William Murderface, the beast had a limited range of reactions to danger, and it had just exhausted its list. To its dismay, it spied a small, golden-haired angel standing behind. Said angel had the beast's pointed tail in a tiny vise-like grip, preventing its passage.
The beast swung its ugly head to look forward, and was confronted now by a pair of scowling, cornflower-blue eyes.
Little Abby head-butted the beast. Its eyes rolled up into its head, and it keeled over, releasing Pretty Pretty Princess’s noble steed from its mouth.
Abby picked up the slobbery pony in triumph. She was soon surrounded by Liam and Elias, gabbling with sweet, sweet victory.
It was at this point that some adults arrived on the scene.
"Oh my gods, what happened here? Abby? I've told you and told you, don't dress a purple haired doll in pink!" Lady Raziel informed her child, shaking Pretty Pretty Princess for emphasis.
“You need to secure this one,” Ganesh told Sariel, looking over their mud-encrusted son, who was currently holding up a slug for their approval. “Viscose!” Ganesh explained, holding out one of his own sleeves.
“Why are you always wearing weird shit when our kid is sticky?” Sariel asked suspiciously, clasping the giggling boy.
“I make a practice to always wear weird shit,” Ganesh grinned.
"Why don't ye just turn the doll's hair pink?" Wotan asked Abby, hefting Lord Liam.
"SHE CAN'T HAVE PINK HAIR WITH A PINK DRESS!" Raziel insisted.
"Wunchie wunchie," Abby babbled.
Ganesh and Raziel gawped at each other.
"Did she say matchy-matchy?" Ganesh cried.
Raziel and Ganesh were instantly surrounding the tot.
"She knows her faux pas!" Raziel squealed in delight.
"Say haute couture! Say it for Uncle!" Ganesh urged.
"Uhhh. Can we take the boys and go smoke cigars?" Sariel asked Wotan.
“Sounds good,” the god agreed. “And perhaps whiskey? And slugs?” he asked, picking one of the same off his collar.
“What’s up with that bog demon?” Sariel asked as the party began to make its way towards Valhalla, indicating the unconscious beast in their midst.
“I dunno," Wotan confessed, hefting Liam to his shoulders. "Lazy bastard probably fell asleep. C’mon, quit dilly dallying, let’s go get some dinner!”
Author: tikistitch
Rating: G
Summary: Don’t tangle with angel babies
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
Notes: This one contains a pretty big spoiler for Chapter 43 if you haven’t read it yet. Also, to be clear, this takes place a year or two IN THE FUTURE in the continuity.
Not too many years from now....
Somewhere in the gardens of Asgard sat a young maiden with raven hair and cornflower blue eyes.
She was a very, very young maiden.
If she had been able to talk - or at least to talk so any grownups in the vicinity might understand - she would have described her current activity as playing Pretty Pretty Princess. The game so far went as thus: Pretty Pretty Princess, who wore robes of sparkling pink and sported very stylish glittery purple hair, rode her rainbow colored magical steed off to meet the terrible demon.
Suddenly, the demon was nigh!!
With one strike of her sharp little sword, Pretty Pretty Princess disemboweled the beast.
The organs fell, steaming, to the ground with a satisfying plop.
And then she beheaded the terrible monster with a clean blow of her shining blade. The blood shot out in a lovely crimson gusher. Victory!
As it happened. Lady Abigail was so intent upon this narrative that she was surprised to look up and find an actual demon staring down at her.
It was a bog demon, one that was rather common to find in the clearings of these parts. It was a rather huge beast: larger even than William Murderface off his diet, it must have weighed at least a ton. It spent its days trundling about on four legs, looking for young maidens to annoy. Its huge gnarled head was now inches from hers, terrible nostrils flared and snorting, saliva dribbling from the corners of its fanged mouth.
It really wasn’t all that different from William Murderface off his diet.
As Abby blinked and clutched Pretty Pretty Princess to her, the demon scowled and trod maliciously on her noble steed with one great hooved foot.
Lady Abigail, smart beyond her years, beat a strategic retreat in order to fetch reinforcements. She ran along on her very short legs until she found her brother, Lord Liam, and cousin, Elias (title as yet to be determined, though he definitely had an assortment of colorfully titled relatives).
Said acquaintances had demurred the playing of Pretty Pretty Princess as they were currently wallowing in their own version of Boy Nirvana. They had found a muddy patch in the same field possessed of numerous ugly bog slugs. They were currently in an informal but nonetheless spirited (not to mention terribly muddy) contest to locate the largest and ugliest.
They looked up to behold the damsel in distress in their midst. Although, as we have discussed, Abby was not yet possessed of adult speech, she made her distress clear through the universal language of blubbering. Lord Liam at first attempted comfort by displaying to her a particularly large and gnarled slug, but, oddly, his sister would have none of that. It was up to the young swain, Elias, to give comfort with a rather sticky, slobbery kiss and then a hug inside one of his silvery tipped wings.
"Gwungle," Abby explained, wiping her tears on a frilly sleeve.
Well of course, this terrible injustice could not go unmet. As son of a king, Liam decided to take immediate action. “Blarrghabranggle!” he told them, and there was much agreement with the suggestion.
The bog demon, foul thing, was still sitting in the exact same spot, idly chewing on Pretty Pretty Princess’s noble steed. Modern plastics being what they were, it had found, much to its frustration and puzzlement, that its vicious fangs had as yet been ineffective in causing any damage to the item.
Suddenly, the demon reeled. A small angel, fluttering overhead on silver-tipped wings, had just dumped an armload of bog slugs on its head. Bog demons hate bog slugs, as they find them icky. It stood in panic and tried to shake off the slugs, and then, having no luck, bolted.
And was felled. It looked back, now panicking. Much like William Murderface, the beast had a limited range of reactions to danger, and it had just exhausted its list. To its dismay, it spied a small, golden-haired angel standing behind. Said angel had the beast's pointed tail in a tiny vise-like grip, preventing its passage.
The beast swung its ugly head to look forward, and was confronted now by a pair of scowling, cornflower-blue eyes.
Little Abby head-butted the beast. Its eyes rolled up into its head, and it keeled over, releasing Pretty Pretty Princess’s noble steed from its mouth.
Abby picked up the slobbery pony in triumph. She was soon surrounded by Liam and Elias, gabbling with sweet, sweet victory.
It was at this point that some adults arrived on the scene.
"Oh my gods, what happened here? Abby? I've told you and told you, don't dress a purple haired doll in pink!" Lady Raziel informed her child, shaking Pretty Pretty Princess for emphasis.
“You need to secure this one,” Ganesh told Sariel, looking over their mud-encrusted son, who was currently holding up a slug for their approval. “Viscose!” Ganesh explained, holding out one of his own sleeves.
“Why are you always wearing weird shit when our kid is sticky?” Sariel asked suspiciously, clasping the giggling boy.
“I make a practice to always wear weird shit,” Ganesh grinned.
"Why don't ye just turn the doll's hair pink?" Wotan asked Abby, hefting Lord Liam.
"SHE CAN'T HAVE PINK HAIR WITH A PINK DRESS!" Raziel insisted.
"Wunchie wunchie," Abby babbled.
Ganesh and Raziel gawped at each other.
"Did she say matchy-matchy?" Ganesh cried.
Raziel and Ganesh were instantly surrounding the tot.
"She knows her faux pas!" Raziel squealed in delight.
"Say haute couture! Say it for Uncle!" Ganesh urged.
"Uhhh. Can we take the boys and go smoke cigars?" Sariel asked Wotan.
“Sounds good,” the god agreed. “And perhaps whiskey? And slugs?” he asked, picking one of the same off his collar.
“What’s up with that bog demon?” Sariel asked as the party began to make its way towards Valhalla, indicating the unconscious beast in their midst.
“I dunno," Wotan confessed, hefting Liam to his shoulders. "Lazy bastard probably fell asleep. C’mon, quit dilly dallying, let’s go get some dinner!”
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no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 06:32 pm (UTC)Tiny demon slayers. It ammuses me that all the parents are so unconcerned.
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Date: 2011-04-08 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 08:05 pm (UTC)(let's see if I can post THIS time)
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Date: 2011-04-08 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 06:37 pm (UTC)Well, who wouldn't agree with that?
Bog demons hate bog slugs, as they find them icky.
That line amuses me terribly. XD
"Oh my gods, what happened here? Abby? I've told you and told you, don't dress a purple haired doll in pink!" Lady Raziel informed her child, shaking Pretty Pretty Princess for emphasis.
Oh, Raziel... X3
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Date: 2011-04-08 08:06 pm (UTC)Oh, Raziel...
Hey, we must have standards!!! :D
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Date: 2011-04-08 08:12 pm (UTC)1. Pretty Pretty Princess is for babies. Slugs are made of win. But three-way violence wins all.
2. Ganesh needs to learn the value of jeans and T-shirts. From Old Navy.
3. Alexis needs playmates. Just sayin'.
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Date: 2011-04-08 08:38 pm (UTC)I'm actually a little sorry for Ganesh. He might have thought to order a girl instead. Boys tend to wallow in substances that are unkind to manmade fabrics. :D. (Not that many girls don't do this too.)
Angel babies might prove a bit much for young Miss Alexis! You would have to consider this carefully. She is related to BDP Charles though. I think it would be funny for them to interact with that AU Sariel kid at some point though.
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Date: 2011-04-08 08:49 pm (UTC)I dunno, Alexis has been watching L&O since she was two days old, and her first word was "litigate." (Charles didn't stop bragging to the legal team for weeks.) She might not be much of a match in the powers department, but between Charles's DNA and Doris's, I think the trio would get the point that mere humans aren't that great to fuck around with.
Oh, man, AU!Sariel totally needs to come over and play sometime. I can totally see him and Elias being at sword point the whole time, and Sariel not quite knowing what to make of it. (I can also see Alexis being wholeheartedly confused. Why is Daddy an angel, and why is he her age?)
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Date: 2011-04-08 09:19 pm (UTC)Alexis has been watching L&O since she was two days old, and her first word was "litigate."
hahahahaha.....
No, I don't anticipate AU!Sariel and Elias would get along. I think AU!Sariel would make a bit of a nuisance of himself. Though I think Abby would be rather fascinated - she has a thing for Bad Boys. :D
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Date: 2011-04-08 10:30 pm (UTC)Would AU!Sariel be a nuisance out of curiosity or a need to put one over on Elias? And how jealous would Elias get of Sariel stealing Abby's attention?
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Date: 2011-04-08 11:12 pm (UTC)And Sariel was a bit, "Well, this is what my boyfriend wants, so I'll go along." But you're right, I think he'll take to parenting more naturally.
Raziel and Wotan wanted kids, but they also wanted kids who are mixed angel and god. So, even they had some other motivations.
I have a plot bunny that's been hopping around in my head regarding AU!Sariel coming over to make mischief. I might write it up, although this is the point where it's gotten so far into OCs, I worry my last three readers will give up and leave. Just remember, AU!Sariel is a very old soul - he's been mooching around 2,000 years. So as a teenager, he's terribly impatient with everything - he wants to get on and have Ganesh as a boyfriend and run a business empire and everything. But the kids over here are real kids. And I think you're probably seeing why I thought it would be fun to throw in the character of Elias - he seems to bring the mischief out in Raziel's kids.
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Date: 2011-04-09 01:57 am (UTC)Nah, we won't let them leave, we'll sit on them to make them stay. I'm thinking Lil' Sariel lives for mischief.
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Date: 2011-04-09 02:08 am (UTC)OK. This time I did not fall off the couch.
But ALL MY MILK came out my nose.
LastThreeReaders: Goodbye, Tiki! We're a-goin, and we're a-takin' the teevee machine!
Tiki: NO! Not the TV MACHINE!
LTR: Yessir.
The scene changes to outdoors, where Tiki's Last Three Readers have packed up a depression-era pickup with stacks of crates.
Tiki: Where are you going, Last Three Readers.
LTR: Well, sir, we're a-heading to Californee!
Tiki: Californee!
LTR: Yessir, We heerd tell of a fic out thar, it's got Murderface as twins!
Tiki: Oh, Murdertwins! Very cool.
LTR: (driving off): Sayonara, Tiki!
Tiki: (running after truck): Goodbye, Last Three Readers! I'll never forget you!
Toto: *barks*
Tiki: And Toto too!
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Date: 2011-04-09 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-09 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-09 02:30 am (UTC)*Charles's dethphone rings*
Charles: Hello?
Murderface: TIKI CALLED ME FAT!
Little Abby head-butted the beast.
I'm betting Toki taught her that move. ;)
Toki: When someones ams bothers you likes screamings in your ears and beings a pains in de asses, you smashes dere face in wit' your heads. Classics Norwegians kisses.
Abby: Wuurrrgle.
Nathan: You mean Danish Kiss. It's called a Danish Kiss, Toki.
Toki: No, it ams inventsted in Norways. De Danishes steals it from us and changes da names; dey as bad as the Svensk, stealings everyt'ing froms us. Rights, Abba-snail?
Abby: Buuubbbbl.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-09 02:45 am (UTC)