Under the Gaydar (Mythklok Interstitial)
Mar. 11th, 2011 06:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: Under the Gaydar (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: an open and frank discussion of pie amongst manly men
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs,
Notes: the absolute, final and lasting proof that I cannot write to prompts
So, we're all friends here, right?
A word of explanation before we begin: despite being utterly thrashed at work, I had been struggling to come up with SOMETHING to show my love for N/C month. Because, you know. Now, one snag is that Nathan in my AU is most definitely straight. So, no pr0nz. But, I can't really write pr0nz anyway. And, my Nathan and my Charles have kind of a nice friendship.
So, anyway, I sat down at lunchtime and decided I needed to get SOMETHING down on paper that spoke to N/C. And, well, here is what appeared on my iPad.
PLEASE don't tell anyone on BB about this, OK? As, I don't want them coming after me with torches and pitchforks.
Oh, and I also consider this the last entry in The Mythklok Pie Trilogy. But, I don't discount writing more pie!fic. Because, pie.
Under the Gaydar
"Soooooo," began Nathan Explosion. Nathan was currently passing an the evening at the residence of Lord Ganesh, although how exactly this had come to pass was presently unclear, as, some hours previous to this, Lord Ganesh had been persuaded by those present and voting to take out his cocktail shaker. It is a truth universally acknowledged that, in any race against a four armed bartender, sobriety is bound to come in a rather distant second.
Despite his current state of pleasant inebriation, Charles, who was seated down on the carpet in order to be nearer his best beloved, one of Auntie Sarasvati's key lime pies, cringed. He didn't like the sound of this.
"So," Nathan continued, "what I'm wondering is, am I gay?"
"Uh," said Charles around a mouthful of rich Graham cracker crust.
"Why would you think that, my friend?" inquired Ganesh, sitting down beside Nathan and hooking one of many friendly arms around his shoulders.
"Well, because, uh, you're gay."
"Yes, I am gay. And quite successfully so! I don't think you will find many who excel at it more than myself! Fifteen centuries, unbroken."
"Unbroksen?" scoffed Skwisgaar, who was cleverly utilizing his martini glass to play his guitar in e slide manner. "What's about dat nights you ams spends wit' da groupies, ja?"
"That didn't count," Ganesh explained. "Encounters with your groupies hardly counts. I get a backsies."
"Amsn't no backsies on our groupies!" Skwisgaar contended.
"And I, uh, hang out here sometimes," Nathan continued.
"Nathan," Charles carefully explained, holding up his tie in order to lick off a splendid morsel of the only slightly sour and decidedly not green filling from where it had fallen, "you know, it's not catching...."
"That is a misapprehension!" Ganesh raved.
"Wha'?" protested Charles.
"It is most definitely communicable! You can catch it most anyway, anyhow, anywhere!"
"Whoa!" said Nathan. "Like, uh, how, exactly?"
"Have you ever aggrieved a Maine lobster? Derived an equation? Considered propinquity?"
"Uh, Pickles," Charles inquired, considering instead his key lime, "what exactly was in that shit you guys were smoking just now."
"Dood! Dat wuz my special blend!"
"Whoa," said Nathan, impressed. "So, uh, would you wanna sleep with me?" he inquired of Ganesh.
"Well, I would have to answer no on that one, as I currently have a boyfriend, that surly chap gorging on my Auntie's pie down there. But I do thank you for the inquiry!"
"The what?"
"Nat'an. Doooooood," Pickles interjected from his position. He was not seated at all, as he was rather lying on the floor. "Wut da feck? I mean, wut da feckin' feck?"
"Pickles does have an important point!" Ganesh agreed.
"And, the stuff you were smoking?" Charles inquired of Pickles. "Is there more of it around?"
"So, how can I tell?" Nathan persisted.
"There is only one way to tell!" Ganesh replied.
"Nathan," Charles asked, "Do you feel sexually attracted to men?"
"THAT'S NOT THE WAY!" Ganesh explained.
"What?"
"Well, there is only one way of course. You have to use the gaydar!" At which point, Ganesh reached over the coffee table and snatched up Charles's fork.
"Hey, gimme that back! I've got a pie situation here!"
"What ams dats, dudes?"
"Have none of you heard of using the forks?" Ganesh asked.
"Gannish is a Jedi dooooood" Pickles muttered.
"Let's see here," Ganesh said, pointing the fork in Nathan's general direction. He frowned, and then whacked it a couple of times on the coffee table. "There we go! Sariel got spittle on our equipment."
"I's m' goddam f'rk," forkless Charles groused, irritably smashing the remainder of his pie into his mouth all at one go.
"Beep beep beep beep ... BUZZZZ! Oh, i'm sorry, Nathan."
"What?"
"Sorry. You're straight," Ganesh said, tossing the fork away and grabbing up his martini glass.
"Damn," said Nathan, who found himself now, oddly, slightly disappointed.
"Ams OK, dey ams manies lovelies ladies out deres," Skwisgaar consoled.
"Doooooooood," said Pickles.
"I need more pie," Charles grumbled, heading for the kitchen.
"Is there more pie?" asked Nathan, who was now slumped, pouting.
"No," said Charles.
"You can't have eaten all of it!" Ganesh fumed.
"You took my gaydar," Charles called. "I'll have to eat the rest all in one bite now!"
"You are a greedy angel, and you will definitely get a tummy ache!"
"Dudes!" said Nathan, suddenly sitting up excitedly. "Do you think I'm an ANGEL?"
"That is a fine question, Nathan," Ganesh agreed. "Do you like pie?"
"I LOVE PIE!"
"Then it is a definitely possibility. Sadly, science has not yet invented angel-dar."
"Brutal! I mean, uhhhh, too bad! So we'll never know!" Nathan concluded.
"Dood," Pickles reasoned, "if yer an angel, don't yoo need a funny ass name, like Urinel or somethin'."
"I ams likes dats," Skwisgaar snickered. "Natans ams now Urinel da angels."
"Metal," agreed Nathan.
"Dudes, who you ams callings," Skwisgaar asked Ganesh, who had pulled out his cell phone.
"My Auntie Sarasvati. If we have more angels here, we're going to need more pie."
"Ow! My tummy!" called Charles from the kitchen.
"Definitely. More pie."
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: an open and frank discussion of pie amongst manly men
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs,
Notes: the absolute, final and lasting proof that I cannot write to prompts
So, we're all friends here, right?
A word of explanation before we begin: despite being utterly thrashed at work, I had been struggling to come up with SOMETHING to show my love for N/C month. Because, you know. Now, one snag is that Nathan in my AU is most definitely straight. So, no pr0nz. But, I can't really write pr0nz anyway. And, my Nathan and my Charles have kind of a nice friendship.
So, anyway, I sat down at lunchtime and decided I needed to get SOMETHING down on paper that spoke to N/C. And, well, here is what appeared on my iPad.
PLEASE don't tell anyone on BB about this, OK? As, I don't want them coming after me with torches and pitchforks.
Oh, and I also consider this the last entry in The Mythklok Pie Trilogy. But, I don't discount writing more pie!fic. Because, pie.
Under the Gaydar
"Soooooo," began Nathan Explosion. Nathan was currently passing an the evening at the residence of Lord Ganesh, although how exactly this had come to pass was presently unclear, as, some hours previous to this, Lord Ganesh had been persuaded by those present and voting to take out his cocktail shaker. It is a truth universally acknowledged that, in any race against a four armed bartender, sobriety is bound to come in a rather distant second.
Despite his current state of pleasant inebriation, Charles, who was seated down on the carpet in order to be nearer his best beloved, one of Auntie Sarasvati's key lime pies, cringed. He didn't like the sound of this.
"So," Nathan continued, "what I'm wondering is, am I gay?"
"Uh," said Charles around a mouthful of rich Graham cracker crust.
"Why would you think that, my friend?" inquired Ganesh, sitting down beside Nathan and hooking one of many friendly arms around his shoulders.
"Well, because, uh, you're gay."
"Yes, I am gay. And quite successfully so! I don't think you will find many who excel at it more than myself! Fifteen centuries, unbroken."
"Unbroksen?" scoffed Skwisgaar, who was cleverly utilizing his martini glass to play his guitar in e slide manner. "What's about dat nights you ams spends wit' da groupies, ja?"
"That didn't count," Ganesh explained. "Encounters with your groupies hardly counts. I get a backsies."
"Amsn't no backsies on our groupies!" Skwisgaar contended.
"And I, uh, hang out here sometimes," Nathan continued.
"Nathan," Charles carefully explained, holding up his tie in order to lick off a splendid morsel of the only slightly sour and decidedly not green filling from where it had fallen, "you know, it's not catching...."
"That is a misapprehension!" Ganesh raved.
"Wha'?" protested Charles.
"It is most definitely communicable! You can catch it most anyway, anyhow, anywhere!"
"Whoa!" said Nathan. "Like, uh, how, exactly?"
"Have you ever aggrieved a Maine lobster? Derived an equation? Considered propinquity?"
"Uh, Pickles," Charles inquired, considering instead his key lime, "what exactly was in that shit you guys were smoking just now."
"Dood! Dat wuz my special blend!"
"Whoa," said Nathan, impressed. "So, uh, would you wanna sleep with me?" he inquired of Ganesh.
"Well, I would have to answer no on that one, as I currently have a boyfriend, that surly chap gorging on my Auntie's pie down there. But I do thank you for the inquiry!"
"The what?"
"Nat'an. Doooooood," Pickles interjected from his position. He was not seated at all, as he was rather lying on the floor. "Wut da feck? I mean, wut da feckin' feck?"
"Pickles does have an important point!" Ganesh agreed.
"And, the stuff you were smoking?" Charles inquired of Pickles. "Is there more of it around?"
"So, how can I tell?" Nathan persisted.
"There is only one way to tell!" Ganesh replied.
"Nathan," Charles asked, "Do you feel sexually attracted to men?"
"THAT'S NOT THE WAY!" Ganesh explained.
"What?"
"Well, there is only one way of course. You have to use the gaydar!" At which point, Ganesh reached over the coffee table and snatched up Charles's fork.
"Hey, gimme that back! I've got a pie situation here!"
"What ams dats, dudes?"
"Have none of you heard of using the forks?" Ganesh asked.
"Gannish is a Jedi dooooood" Pickles muttered.
"Let's see here," Ganesh said, pointing the fork in Nathan's general direction. He frowned, and then whacked it a couple of times on the coffee table. "There we go! Sariel got spittle on our equipment."
"I's m' goddam f'rk," forkless Charles groused, irritably smashing the remainder of his pie into his mouth all at one go.
"Beep beep beep beep ... BUZZZZ! Oh, i'm sorry, Nathan."
"What?"
"Sorry. You're straight," Ganesh said, tossing the fork away and grabbing up his martini glass.
"Damn," said Nathan, who found himself now, oddly, slightly disappointed.
"Ams OK, dey ams manies lovelies ladies out deres," Skwisgaar consoled.
"Doooooooood," said Pickles.
"I need more pie," Charles grumbled, heading for the kitchen.
"Is there more pie?" asked Nathan, who was now slumped, pouting.
"No," said Charles.
"You can't have eaten all of it!" Ganesh fumed.
"You took my gaydar," Charles called. "I'll have to eat the rest all in one bite now!"
"You are a greedy angel, and you will definitely get a tummy ache!"
"Dudes!" said Nathan, suddenly sitting up excitedly. "Do you think I'm an ANGEL?"
"That is a fine question, Nathan," Ganesh agreed. "Do you like pie?"
"I LOVE PIE!"
"Then it is a definitely possibility. Sadly, science has not yet invented angel-dar."
"Brutal! I mean, uhhhh, too bad! So we'll never know!" Nathan concluded.
"Dood," Pickles reasoned, "if yer an angel, don't yoo need a funny ass name, like Urinel or somethin'."
"I ams likes dats," Skwisgaar snickered. "Natans ams now Urinel da angels."
"Metal," agreed Nathan.
"Dudes, who you ams callings," Skwisgaar asked Ganesh, who had pulled out his cell phone.
"My Auntie Sarasvati. If we have more angels here, we're going to need more pie."
"Ow! My tummy!" called Charles from the kitchen.
"Definitely. More pie."
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Date: 2011-03-12 11:21 pm (UTC)Of internets! YAYZ!