A Night Out
Mar. 7th, 2011 03:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: A Night Out (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Theatrical hijinx
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
For you continuity nerds, this story takes place prior to the events of Chapter 33....
"I don't see it," Sariel grumbled.
"Don't see what?" asked Ganesh.
"People jumping around singing like that."
"Charles." Ganesh, who was unfailing polite, was always considerate about using Sariel's human name when they walked among the humans. "You manage a musical group, do you not?"
"That's my point! Those guys don't just burst out singing! You have to pay them a fuckload of money first!"
"Might I remind you," Ganesh sighed, "We paid a not inconsiderable amount for those theater tickets."
"Spare change?" inquired a man huddled to the side of the dingy street where Ganesh and Sariel now walked.
Ganesh handed the cowering, unwashed man a dollar.
"You shouldn't do that!" Sariel scolded.
"Do what?"
"Give them handouts like that. It only encourages them."
"That one will be dead from an infection within three months anyway. Probably sooner. By the way," Ganesh asked, the neighborhood having taken a distinct turn for the worse, "are you quite certain this is where we parked the car?"
"Yeah, I'm certain. Weren't you paying fucking attenion?"
"I'm afraid I was rather more attending to your creative utilization of the standard transmission."
"I am a great fucking driver! Try driving with fucking Raziel some time. At least I know how to use the fucking brake pedal!"
"I simply did not recall parking inside a dark and narrow alleway. And furthermore, I maintain you are not evincing proper appreciation towards the genre of musical comedy."
Sariel snorted. "People don't act like assholes like that."
"But, don't you constantly maintain that that is in fact the preferred mode of humanity?"
"Yeah, people act like assholes, they just don't act like that kind of asshole."
"There exist then different varieties of assholes?"
"Infinite! See? Like these guys," Sariel explained, indicating the rather scummy looking group of men who had just surrounded them.
"Hand over you wallets!" ordered the Lead Scummy Guy.
"Excuse me?" asked Ganesh, who was unfailingly polite.
"No way!" marveled Sariel. "Do they still mug people?"
"Evidently," Ganesh sniffed. "In New York City. You won't find such disrespectful behavior in India!"
"Yeah, because people in India are crawling around too starved to hold a fucking handgun."
"Uh, you assholes gonna give up your wallets or what?" persisted the now confused Lead Scummy Guy.
"Probably not," Sariel told him honestly. "Hey, can I get an opinion?"
"What?"
"Do people just burst out singing from happiness or whatever the fuck?"
"What, you mean like in those fucking musicals?" asked the now terribly confused mugger.
"Yeah, exactly."
"No fucking way."
"See?"
"You are going to resort to the opinion of a blackguard?" Ganesh sniffed.
"A what?" asked Sariel.
"What?" asked the mugger.
"A mugger," grumbled Ganesh.
"You guys gonna fucking give up your wallets?" wailed another mugger, who had obviously grown impatient theatrical criticism.
"I already told you, no," Sariel explained. "What, did you not listen?"
"This man is a professional mugger, Charles. I do not think it speaks to his comprehension abilities."
"Why is this dude such a snob?' asked the Lead Scummy Guy.
"He's not a snob, he just puts on the accent," Sariel explained.
"I am not being a snob. You are a mugger. I am, in actuality, better than you."
"Maybe I didn't choose to be a mugger! Maybe I'm a victim of circumstances! Thought of that, smart guy?"
"Kindly tell me, what circumstances have lead you to your unfortunate life of crime?"
"I like to steal shit."
"Will you quit fucking talking us to death and give us your fucking wallets?" shrieked a second mugger, boldly jamming his pistol into Sariel's face.
"Hmpf," grumbled Ganesh, flicking his fingers.
The second mugger screamed even louder as his firearm melted in his hand.
"Ouch!" said Sariel, feeling his cheek. "That was a little close."
"Sorry," muttered Ganesh. "I will kiss it and make it better." Sariel grinned. "Later."
The group of muggers, sensing these two men might not make the most ideal crime victims, had scattered.
Except for one.
"Hey, are you that angel dude from TV?"
"I prefer the term 'Supernatural American,'" Sariel crisply informed him.
"Can I have your autograph?" the mugger asked.
"But, you just attempted to assault him!" Ganesh protested.
"Yeah. But. He's a celebrity."
"Sure," Sariel cheerfully agreed. "Wanna picture?"
"Shit. I don't have a camera," the mugger sighed. "I could run and steal one from an old lady tourist or something."
"Naw, maybe better not," Sariel told him. "He's a vengeance demon," he explained, hooking a finger at Ganesh, "and he'd have to pull your skin off."
"Oh, uh, yeah, anyway, bye!" said the mugger, dashing off without even his autograph.
"Charles! I am not a vengeance demon!" Ganesh protested.
"What, you want me to scare the shit out of him with the fact that you're a Hindu love god?"
"I am acting Lord of Destruction! That's pretty terrifying!" Ganesh pouted.
"Yes, you are very terrifying, dear. Hey look, is that the car!"
"Oh, we did park in the midst of a dark and scary alleyway. That was forward thinking of us." Ganesh opened the passenger side door. "Where shall we go to dinner?"
"I thought we'd just go back to my place," Sariel suggested, taking the wheel. "You know. So I could comfort you from your terrifying ordeal."
"The experience of being mugged by inept theater critics?"
"No. Having to watch idiots on stage sing and dance around like assholes for the last three hours."
Ganesh fixed Sariel with a scowl. "We should at least go for a drink first. I suddenly feel the need at least one hundred martinis."
"I can't drink! I'm driving!" Sariel said, starting the car with jerk.
"It might improve matters," Ganesh grumbled.
"OK. Try this," Sariel smiled. "We go back, I fix you a pitcher of martinis...."
"You know quite damn well I mix better martinis."
"...and I get the wings out."
Ganesh paused.
He raised an eyebrow.
"Actually, I find I am feeling quite upset over tonight's ordeal," he mused.
"I think I might just be developing a taste for musical theater," Sariel grinned, grinding the transmission into somewhere between second and third gear.
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Theatrical hijinx
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
For you continuity nerds, this story takes place prior to the events of Chapter 33....
"I don't see it," Sariel grumbled.
"Don't see what?" asked Ganesh.
"People jumping around singing like that."
"Charles." Ganesh, who was unfailing polite, was always considerate about using Sariel's human name when they walked among the humans. "You manage a musical group, do you not?"
"That's my point! Those guys don't just burst out singing! You have to pay them a fuckload of money first!"
"Might I remind you," Ganesh sighed, "We paid a not inconsiderable amount for those theater tickets."
"Spare change?" inquired a man huddled to the side of the dingy street where Ganesh and Sariel now walked.
Ganesh handed the cowering, unwashed man a dollar.
"You shouldn't do that!" Sariel scolded.
"Do what?"
"Give them handouts like that. It only encourages them."
"That one will be dead from an infection within three months anyway. Probably sooner. By the way," Ganesh asked, the neighborhood having taken a distinct turn for the worse, "are you quite certain this is where we parked the car?"
"Yeah, I'm certain. Weren't you paying fucking attenion?"
"I'm afraid I was rather more attending to your creative utilization of the standard transmission."
"I am a great fucking driver! Try driving with fucking Raziel some time. At least I know how to use the fucking brake pedal!"
"I simply did not recall parking inside a dark and narrow alleway. And furthermore, I maintain you are not evincing proper appreciation towards the genre of musical comedy."
Sariel snorted. "People don't act like assholes like that."
"But, don't you constantly maintain that that is in fact the preferred mode of humanity?"
"Yeah, people act like assholes, they just don't act like that kind of asshole."
"There exist then different varieties of assholes?"
"Infinite! See? Like these guys," Sariel explained, indicating the rather scummy looking group of men who had just surrounded them.
"Hand over you wallets!" ordered the Lead Scummy Guy.
"Excuse me?" asked Ganesh, who was unfailingly polite.
"No way!" marveled Sariel. "Do they still mug people?"
"Evidently," Ganesh sniffed. "In New York City. You won't find such disrespectful behavior in India!"
"Yeah, because people in India are crawling around too starved to hold a fucking handgun."
"Uh, you assholes gonna give up your wallets or what?" persisted the now confused Lead Scummy Guy.
"Probably not," Sariel told him honestly. "Hey, can I get an opinion?"
"What?"
"Do people just burst out singing from happiness or whatever the fuck?"
"What, you mean like in those fucking musicals?" asked the now terribly confused mugger.
"Yeah, exactly."
"No fucking way."
"See?"
"You are going to resort to the opinion of a blackguard?" Ganesh sniffed.
"A what?" asked Sariel.
"What?" asked the mugger.
"A mugger," grumbled Ganesh.
"You guys gonna fucking give up your wallets?" wailed another mugger, who had obviously grown impatient theatrical criticism.
"I already told you, no," Sariel explained. "What, did you not listen?"
"This man is a professional mugger, Charles. I do not think it speaks to his comprehension abilities."
"Why is this dude such a snob?' asked the Lead Scummy Guy.
"He's not a snob, he just puts on the accent," Sariel explained.
"I am not being a snob. You are a mugger. I am, in actuality, better than you."
"Maybe I didn't choose to be a mugger! Maybe I'm a victim of circumstances! Thought of that, smart guy?"
"Kindly tell me, what circumstances have lead you to your unfortunate life of crime?"
"I like to steal shit."
"Will you quit fucking talking us to death and give us your fucking wallets?" shrieked a second mugger, boldly jamming his pistol into Sariel's face.
"Hmpf," grumbled Ganesh, flicking his fingers.
The second mugger screamed even louder as his firearm melted in his hand.
"Ouch!" said Sariel, feeling his cheek. "That was a little close."
"Sorry," muttered Ganesh. "I will kiss it and make it better." Sariel grinned. "Later."
The group of muggers, sensing these two men might not make the most ideal crime victims, had scattered.
Except for one.
"Hey, are you that angel dude from TV?"
"I prefer the term 'Supernatural American,'" Sariel crisply informed him.
"Can I have your autograph?" the mugger asked.
"But, you just attempted to assault him!" Ganesh protested.
"Yeah. But. He's a celebrity."
"Sure," Sariel cheerfully agreed. "Wanna picture?"
"Shit. I don't have a camera," the mugger sighed. "I could run and steal one from an old lady tourist or something."
"Naw, maybe better not," Sariel told him. "He's a vengeance demon," he explained, hooking a finger at Ganesh, "and he'd have to pull your skin off."
"Oh, uh, yeah, anyway, bye!" said the mugger, dashing off without even his autograph.
"Charles! I am not a vengeance demon!" Ganesh protested.
"What, you want me to scare the shit out of him with the fact that you're a Hindu love god?"
"I am acting Lord of Destruction! That's pretty terrifying!" Ganesh pouted.
"Yes, you are very terrifying, dear. Hey look, is that the car!"
"Oh, we did park in the midst of a dark and scary alleyway. That was forward thinking of us." Ganesh opened the passenger side door. "Where shall we go to dinner?"
"I thought we'd just go back to my place," Sariel suggested, taking the wheel. "You know. So I could comfort you from your terrifying ordeal."
"The experience of being mugged by inept theater critics?"
"No. Having to watch idiots on stage sing and dance around like assholes for the last three hours."
Ganesh fixed Sariel with a scowl. "We should at least go for a drink first. I suddenly feel the need at least one hundred martinis."
"I can't drink! I'm driving!" Sariel said, starting the car with jerk.
"It might improve matters," Ganesh grumbled.
"OK. Try this," Sariel smiled. "We go back, I fix you a pitcher of martinis...."
"You know quite damn well I mix better martinis."
"...and I get the wings out."
Ganesh paused.
He raised an eyebrow.
"Actually, I find I am feeling quite upset over tonight's ordeal," he mused.
"I think I might just be developing a taste for musical theater," Sariel grinned, grinding the transmission into somewhere between second and third gear.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 11:27 pm (UTC)Gotta get all technical about it. I can see that catching on...
"What, you want me to scare the shit out of him with the fact that you're a Hindu love god?"
I think I would have liked to see thier reactions if he'd said that. Of course, being Charles, he'd also tell them that Ganesh has the power to make them sexually attractive to wildlife or something.
Actually... that's a pretty good threat.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 11:54 pm (UTC)Gotta get all technical about it. I can see that catching on...
Charles goes all PC on yer ass!
Actually, I'm not entirely certain I even buy guys trying to mug Charles. I think he'd just scowl, medium style, and they'd scream and run away. But, I've had this silly patter in my head of him and Ganesh arguing over musical comedy and it wouldn't go away.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 11:59 pm (UTC)I'm with Charles on musicals. My mom tried to get me to go see Mamma Mia on stage, no, do not want. It's okay if there's like circus acts mixed in, but just people singing and dancing? No thanks. (Also, I really hate having to dress nicely.)
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:17 am (UTC)Poor, poor Ganesha. ^^;;;
(Also, I really hate having to dress nicely.)
This is something I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME UNDERSTAND! We recently went to see a stage show based on Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog. I had a great time, as did my musical-hating husband. But, there was this segment of the audience who looked like they were dressed up to meet the queen or some shit. It just makes the whole experience better to dress in jeans and relax.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 02:17 am (UTC)"Probably not," Sariel told him honestly.
X3
And heh, asking muggers for musical-related opinions--that's just awesome. Well, it's not as though said muggers could have really posed any real threat to them anyway, all things considered, so yeah.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 02:34 am (UTC)Yeah, this is probably one of those I could have written for Canon!Charles. I mean, could you imagine trying to mug him?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 04:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 04:49 am (UTC)