Projects (Mythklok Interstitial)
Feb. 22nd, 2011 04:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: Projects (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Never trust a knitting circle. Or an elephant.
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
Notes: More lunchtime madness
"It is a good hat. It is the best hat," Ganesh opined.
"No," said Charles.
"And I shall wear it ever!"
"OK. All right. Fine. Just. Not in my presence?"
"You have an objection to my, fine, fine elephant hat?" Ganesh thundered, waving the carefully knit floppy elephant ears for emphasis. The knit trunk sagged over his face, making it difficult, Charles thought, to see straight. Not that, in his present condition, Ganesh was capable of seeing straight.
"Aren't the ears too big? For an Indian elephant?" Charles ventured, remembering something he must have picked up on a nature program.
"The ears are fine! They are perfectly scaled! It is the world's finest hat!"
"No it's NAWT!"
"Oh, no. Oh, god, Pickles, did you just go to Raziel's Stitch and Bitch too?"
"It is my mother's knitting circle!" Ganesh objected.
"Yeah. Before Raziel turned it to EVIL."
"An' I repeat, DIS is da world's finest hat!" Pickles stated, thumping down on the couch beside where Ganesh was sprawled. At first glance, Pickles seemed to have somehow sprouted an extra crop of red dreadlocks. But half of the hair was actually carefully rendered tentacles dangled from the hand crafted octopus hat he know proudly wore.
"It is indeed a fine hat. But it is not finer than my elephant hat, which is pretty damned fine," Ganesh rendered in an elephantine roar.
The two men regarded one another. And then, as if by unspoken signal, exchanged hats, and donned them, as if to make a further assessment.
"OK. That's enough!"
"Dood, why are yoo holdin' a sword?" elephant-Pickles politely inquired of Charles.
"I am going to find Raziel. And then I am going to kill Raziel. AND THEN SHE WILL BE DEAD!"
He stalked off and disappeared.
"Why is da dood so angry?"
"Obviously because he did not get a fine hat," Octo-Ganesh told him.
"Wut kinda hat would he get?"
"Why the hat of...." Ganesh said, laying back and twirling a red tentacle. "The hat of an angryperson. An angry angry angryperson."
"Is dat a word?"
"I attended Oxford! Of course it is a word!"
"Oh, did yoo make shoes?"
Charles had returned. He was holding something in his hands. It was not a sword.
"Dood! Wut did dey make yoo?"
Charkes crowded onto the couch next to Ganesh and Pickles. "I need poison. Do you have any poison, Ganesh? I need to die quickly."
"Here," said Ganesh helpfully, picking up his dry martini. "This is poison."
Charles frowned at the cocktail glass. He picked out the olive on the little plastic sword. "This is poison?"
"Uh-huh. And, you can trust me, because, elephants never lie."
Charles ate the olive. "I thought elephants never forget. Also, you're still wearing Pickles's octopus hat."
"Oh, yes, that's right. Elephants never forget, and octopuses never lie."
"Octopi?" asked Pickles.
"Octopuses. It is a common mistake."
Charles shrugged and drank down the martini. "You're certain I'm gonna die now?"
"It will be quick, and terribly painful," Ganesh promised.
Charles sighed deeply and pulled the knit cap he was holding over his his head.
It featured a tiny pair of silver wings.
It was a thing of wonder.
"Oooo," said Ganesh and Pickles.
"When he dies, c'n I have his hat?" Pickles asked.
"No," said Charles. "Because I'm taking it with me."
"I think we all need more poison," Ganesh reasoned.
"Why is dat?"
"When he dies, we'll follow him. I'll distract him, and you steal his hat."
"Dood, good plan!" agreed Pickles.
"Wait, but I was sitting here to hear all of that!" Charles protested.
"No, I am sorry, you are already dead," Ganesh explained.
"Shit!"
"It was a fast acting poison."
"Dood. And so young," worried Pickles.
"Actually, I am over two thousand years old," Charles explained.
"Really? Yoo don't look a day over 50!" Pickles grinned.
"FIFTY?"
"Shall I get us more poison?" Octo-Ganesh inquired.
"Yeah, now I really wanna die," Charles sighed. "And extra olives in mine next time."
"Cheer up dood," Pickles told him, swapping off Charle's angel hat for the elephant hat. "Now yer happy. Elephants is happy!"
"I thought they never forgot."
"Naw, dat's octopi."
"I thought that was octopuses."
"I'm da angel now," Pickles reported, donning the winged hat. "We always fuck up stuff like dat!"
"Why are you all wearing each others hats?" asked Raziel.
"Because we're all dead," Charles groused. "You killed us."
"With the hats?" she asked. "Cool. Where's Ganesh?"
"Getting us more poison."
"Would you like some poison, Lady Raziel?" Ganesh asked politely, holding out a tray of cocktails.
"No thanks," she said, patting her stomach. "But I'll take some olives."
"Why don't you have a hat?" Charles demanded.
"Because I'm pregnant. You can't wear a hat when you're pregnant."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot," he sighed, long trunk slumping in his face.
"Some elephant YOU are!"
"I thought that was octopi."
"Octopuses."
"An' wut doo angels doo?" Pickles inquired.
"Massage the feet of pregant women," Raziel told him, putting her feet in his lap.
"Okey," said Pickles.
"Wait, you believe that shit?" Charles asked him.
"I'm an angel," Pickles explained. "We ain't dat bright."
"WHAT?"
"This is a pleasant way to spend an afternoon," Octo-Ganesh opined, sitting back with his cocktail gripped firmly in his tentacles.
"Yeh. People need t' be dead an' wear hats more!" Pickles concluded.
"An listen to elephants!"
"Angels."
"Octopi."
"Octopuses."
"Sorry."
"Hey, those are my olives!"
"You don't need olives. You're dead."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot."
"Some elephant."
"But I have a cool hat!"
"That you do. That you do."
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Never trust a knitting circle. Or an elephant.
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
Notes: More lunchtime madness
"It is a good hat. It is the best hat," Ganesh opined.
"No," said Charles.
"And I shall wear it ever!"
"OK. All right. Fine. Just. Not in my presence?"
"You have an objection to my, fine, fine elephant hat?" Ganesh thundered, waving the carefully knit floppy elephant ears for emphasis. The knit trunk sagged over his face, making it difficult, Charles thought, to see straight. Not that, in his present condition, Ganesh was capable of seeing straight.
"Aren't the ears too big? For an Indian elephant?" Charles ventured, remembering something he must have picked up on a nature program.
"The ears are fine! They are perfectly scaled! It is the world's finest hat!"
"No it's NAWT!"
"Oh, no. Oh, god, Pickles, did you just go to Raziel's Stitch and Bitch too?"
"It is my mother's knitting circle!" Ganesh objected.
"Yeah. Before Raziel turned it to EVIL."
"An' I repeat, DIS is da world's finest hat!" Pickles stated, thumping down on the couch beside where Ganesh was sprawled. At first glance, Pickles seemed to have somehow sprouted an extra crop of red dreadlocks. But half of the hair was actually carefully rendered tentacles dangled from the hand crafted octopus hat he know proudly wore.
"It is indeed a fine hat. But it is not finer than my elephant hat, which is pretty damned fine," Ganesh rendered in an elephantine roar.
The two men regarded one another. And then, as if by unspoken signal, exchanged hats, and donned them, as if to make a further assessment.
"OK. That's enough!"
"Dood, why are yoo holdin' a sword?" elephant-Pickles politely inquired of Charles.
"I am going to find Raziel. And then I am going to kill Raziel. AND THEN SHE WILL BE DEAD!"
He stalked off and disappeared.
"Why is da dood so angry?"
"Obviously because he did not get a fine hat," Octo-Ganesh told him.
"Wut kinda hat would he get?"
"Why the hat of...." Ganesh said, laying back and twirling a red tentacle. "The hat of an angryperson. An angry angry angryperson."
"Is dat a word?"
"I attended Oxford! Of course it is a word!"
"Oh, did yoo make shoes?"
Charles had returned. He was holding something in his hands. It was not a sword.
"Dood! Wut did dey make yoo?"
Charkes crowded onto the couch next to Ganesh and Pickles. "I need poison. Do you have any poison, Ganesh? I need to die quickly."
"Here," said Ganesh helpfully, picking up his dry martini. "This is poison."
Charles frowned at the cocktail glass. He picked out the olive on the little plastic sword. "This is poison?"
"Uh-huh. And, you can trust me, because, elephants never lie."
Charles ate the olive. "I thought elephants never forget. Also, you're still wearing Pickles's octopus hat."
"Oh, yes, that's right. Elephants never forget, and octopuses never lie."
"Octopi?" asked Pickles.
"Octopuses. It is a common mistake."
Charles shrugged and drank down the martini. "You're certain I'm gonna die now?"
"It will be quick, and terribly painful," Ganesh promised.
Charles sighed deeply and pulled the knit cap he was holding over his his head.
It featured a tiny pair of silver wings.
It was a thing of wonder.
"Oooo," said Ganesh and Pickles.
"When he dies, c'n I have his hat?" Pickles asked.
"No," said Charles. "Because I'm taking it with me."
"I think we all need more poison," Ganesh reasoned.
"Why is dat?"
"When he dies, we'll follow him. I'll distract him, and you steal his hat."
"Dood, good plan!" agreed Pickles.
"Wait, but I was sitting here to hear all of that!" Charles protested.
"No, I am sorry, you are already dead," Ganesh explained.
"Shit!"
"It was a fast acting poison."
"Dood. And so young," worried Pickles.
"Actually, I am over two thousand years old," Charles explained.
"Really? Yoo don't look a day over 50!" Pickles grinned.
"FIFTY?"
"Shall I get us more poison?" Octo-Ganesh inquired.
"Yeah, now I really wanna die," Charles sighed. "And extra olives in mine next time."
"Cheer up dood," Pickles told him, swapping off Charle's angel hat for the elephant hat. "Now yer happy. Elephants is happy!"
"I thought they never forgot."
"Naw, dat's octopi."
"I thought that was octopuses."
"I'm da angel now," Pickles reported, donning the winged hat. "We always fuck up stuff like dat!"
"Why are you all wearing each others hats?" asked Raziel.
"Because we're all dead," Charles groused. "You killed us."
"With the hats?" she asked. "Cool. Where's Ganesh?"
"Getting us more poison."
"Would you like some poison, Lady Raziel?" Ganesh asked politely, holding out a tray of cocktails.
"No thanks," she said, patting her stomach. "But I'll take some olives."
"Why don't you have a hat?" Charles demanded.
"Because I'm pregnant. You can't wear a hat when you're pregnant."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot," he sighed, long trunk slumping in his face.
"Some elephant YOU are!"
"I thought that was octopi."
"Octopuses."
"An' wut doo angels doo?" Pickles inquired.
"Massage the feet of pregant women," Raziel told him, putting her feet in his lap.
"Okey," said Pickles.
"Wait, you believe that shit?" Charles asked him.
"I'm an angel," Pickles explained. "We ain't dat bright."
"WHAT?"
"This is a pleasant way to spend an afternoon," Octo-Ganesh opined, sitting back with his cocktail gripped firmly in his tentacles.
"Yeh. People need t' be dead an' wear hats more!" Pickles concluded.
"An listen to elephants!"
"Angels."
"Octopi."
"Octopuses."
"Sorry."
"Hey, those are my olives!"
"You don't need olives. You're dead."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot."
"Some elephant."
"But I have a cool hat!"
"That you do. That you do."
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Date: 2011-02-23 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 07:46 pm (UTC)