Love, Wotan (Mythklok Interstitial)
Feb. 15th, 2011 03:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: Love, Wotan (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Life is just a box of chocolates. And maybe whipped cream. And pizza boys.
Warnings: Pffft. You guys are smart enough to avoid my stuff if it annoys you.
Notes: My VDay tale. Sorry this is late, but work has been mind-melting. Also, for reasons that will quickly become obvious, I had to be careful where I worked on this one.
Cross-posted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
capslokdethklok.
"Isn't this great, Sariel? A Valentine's day where we're BOTH together with or true loves?"
"Yeah. If only I could figure out which one of them is my true love. What are you eating, anyway?"
"Chocolate! I'm eating for three now."
"Yeah, I believe you may have mentioned that. One or two or eight hundred million billion times. Anyway, is there a reason that you called?" Charles swore as he swapped shoulders on his Dethphone and ended up poking himself several times.
"Just wondering why you're spending Valentines at work and not up at Ganesh's getting pounded, like you should be doing."
"How do you know I'm at work?"
"You're at work."
"Yeah, you're right. I keep trying to get away, and then IDIOTS will call me on the phone and delay me."
"Tsk. People are so rude," smacked Raziel.
"Can I have at least some chocolate?"
"Maybe later. If you're good."
"What the fuck does that mean?" But she was already off the line.
Some time later, Raziel appeared. "Hey, Sariel!"
"What the FUCK are you doing in Ganesh's bedroom, Raziel?"
"You weren't answering your phone."
"Do I look like I could pick up a phone?"
"Aw, you could break out of those restraints. Easily."
"Yes, but that's not the point! Don't tell me you and Wotan have never done bondage before."
"Well actually, no. We're both kind of doms, so it probably wouldn't work too well."
"I guess I see your point. Anyway, was there a reason for this impromptu visit?"
"Oh! Happy Valentines!" Raziel grinned, proffering a red tissue-wrapped box.
"To me? Why does the box say, 'Love, Wotan?'"
"Oh, I put that on everything I buy myself these days! That way when he bitches about my spending, I just say, 'But you bought it for me, cupcake, don't you remember?'"
"And, this works?"
"I buy a lot of shit. It's hard for anyone to remember."
"So what's in the box?"
"Chocolates! Wanna try one?" As he nodded in greedy assent, Raziel tore off the wrapping paper and extracted a chocolatey morsel.
"Oh m' go'! This i' d'licious!"
"I have chocolatiers in Switzerland make them specially!" Raziel bragged. "Make sure to save some for Ganesh and Pickles. Uh, where are those guys, by the way."
"They answered the door to get the pizza, and I suspect got distracted by something shiny."
"Hmm. Well, there's enough for the pizza boy too, if need be. Anyway, I should probably be getting back. This is not a wholesome atmosphere for children!"
"Uh-huh. And, tell me again how you got pregnant, Raziel?"
"Huh. Well, that's a good point."
Raziel had no sooner disappeared than two more people pushed into Ganesh's bedroom.
"See, dood, I tol' yoo unicorns wouldn' doo dat," Pickles was saying.
"That is very important information to have. Oh, here you are, Sariel!" Gamesh said.
"Where the fuck else would I be? And why didn't I get any pizza?"
"And why do you taste like chocolate?" Ganesh asked.
"Dis end don' taste like chocolate!"
"Raziel brought us chocolates for Valentine's Day," Charles told them, nodding at the box.
"Oh, that was terribly pleasant of her," Ganesh observed, as he and Pickles were suddenly distracted by all that awesome red tissue paper.
"But why does da box say, 'Love, Wotan?'"
"She wanted you guys to share with the pizza boy."
"Oh," said Ganesh. "He did have a certain pizza boy-ish charm to him. Shall we run and get him back?"
"No, dood, I got anudder idea," said Pickles, eyeing Charles thoughtfully as he chewed on a chocolate. "Chock'lit syrup."
"An' whip cream?" Ganesh slurred around a caramel-filled mouth.
"Oh no!" Charles protested. "No, you guys! You know how long it takes to wash off fucking Hershey syrup? Aw, shit...."
Some time later, Charles was in the shower, irritably letting Ganesh scrub his hair.
"Caramel! Why did it have to be caramel?"
"That didn't seem to bother you ten minutes ago," Ganesh told him cheerily.
"It'll take weeks to get this off!"
"Dood, he's right," Pickles agreed. "Yoo missed a spot."
"Well, why don't you see to it?" Ganesh offered.
"Hey!" Charles protested, albeit very weakly.
"Dood! Now he tastes like soap!"
"Hrm. Well, run and get the rest of the pizza!" Ganesh suggested. "And maybe the pizza boy!"
"Doesn't that defeat the purpose?" Charles asked.
"What purpose?" mused Ganesh.
"Getting the caramel off!"
"We'll get the caramel off with the pizza, and then we'll get the pizza off with the pizza boy. And then we'll get the pizza boy off. And then we'll all eat the rest of Raziel's chocolates."
"I GOT ANUDDER IDEA!" Pickles announced. He had returned, waving a bottle. "Nat'an's barbecue sauce!"
"Brilliant!" said Ganesh, who started madly shaking the bottle
"It wuz Raziel's idea."
"What?" asked Charles, blinking back Explosion Sauce. "Was Raziel here again?"
"She came back wit' more chock'lits so we'd have enuf fer da pizza boy," Pickles told them, as he proffered a quite damp box with the words, "Love, Wotan," slowly melting down the side.
"Oh, but we let him escape," Ganesh sighed, picking among the candies.
"Dat's OK, dood, 'cause I jist called fer more pizza."
"Splendid! How I adore Valentine's Day!" said Ganesh.
"We'll be here all week!" Charles wailed.
"Hush," scolded Ganesh, popping a toffee into his mouth, "or we won't let you have any pizza boy."
Author: tikistitch
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Life is just a box of chocolates. And maybe whipped cream. And pizza boys.
Warnings: Pffft. You guys are smart enough to avoid my stuff if it annoys you.
Notes: My VDay tale. Sorry this is late, but work has been mind-melting. Also, for reasons that will quickly become obvious, I had to be careful where I worked on this one.
Cross-posted to
capslokdethklok."Isn't this great, Sariel? A Valentine's day where we're BOTH together with or true loves?"
"Yeah. If only I could figure out which one of them is my true love. What are you eating, anyway?"
"Chocolate! I'm eating for three now."
"Yeah, I believe you may have mentioned that. One or two or eight hundred million billion times. Anyway, is there a reason that you called?" Charles swore as he swapped shoulders on his Dethphone and ended up poking himself several times.
"Just wondering why you're spending Valentines at work and not up at Ganesh's getting pounded, like you should be doing."
"How do you know I'm at work?"
"You're at work."
"Yeah, you're right. I keep trying to get away, and then IDIOTS will call me on the phone and delay me."
"Tsk. People are so rude," smacked Raziel.
"Can I have at least some chocolate?"
"Maybe later. If you're good."
"What the fuck does that mean?" But she was already off the line.
Some time later, Raziel appeared. "Hey, Sariel!"
"What the FUCK are you doing in Ganesh's bedroom, Raziel?"
"You weren't answering your phone."
"Do I look like I could pick up a phone?"
"Aw, you could break out of those restraints. Easily."
"Yes, but that's not the point! Don't tell me you and Wotan have never done bondage before."
"Well actually, no. We're both kind of doms, so it probably wouldn't work too well."
"I guess I see your point. Anyway, was there a reason for this impromptu visit?"
"Oh! Happy Valentines!" Raziel grinned, proffering a red tissue-wrapped box.
"To me? Why does the box say, 'Love, Wotan?'"
"Oh, I put that on everything I buy myself these days! That way when he bitches about my spending, I just say, 'But you bought it for me, cupcake, don't you remember?'"
"And, this works?"
"I buy a lot of shit. It's hard for anyone to remember."
"So what's in the box?"
"Chocolates! Wanna try one?" As he nodded in greedy assent, Raziel tore off the wrapping paper and extracted a chocolatey morsel.
"Oh m' go'! This i' d'licious!"
"I have chocolatiers in Switzerland make them specially!" Raziel bragged. "Make sure to save some for Ganesh and Pickles. Uh, where are those guys, by the way."
"They answered the door to get the pizza, and I suspect got distracted by something shiny."
"Hmm. Well, there's enough for the pizza boy too, if need be. Anyway, I should probably be getting back. This is not a wholesome atmosphere for children!"
"Uh-huh. And, tell me again how you got pregnant, Raziel?"
"Huh. Well, that's a good point."
Raziel had no sooner disappeared than two more people pushed into Ganesh's bedroom.
"See, dood, I tol' yoo unicorns wouldn' doo dat," Pickles was saying.
"That is very important information to have. Oh, here you are, Sariel!" Gamesh said.
"Where the fuck else would I be? And why didn't I get any pizza?"
"And why do you taste like chocolate?" Ganesh asked.
"Dis end don' taste like chocolate!"
"Raziel brought us chocolates for Valentine's Day," Charles told them, nodding at the box.
"Oh, that was terribly pleasant of her," Ganesh observed, as he and Pickles were suddenly distracted by all that awesome red tissue paper.
"But why does da box say, 'Love, Wotan?'"
"She wanted you guys to share with the pizza boy."
"Oh," said Ganesh. "He did have a certain pizza boy-ish charm to him. Shall we run and get him back?"
"No, dood, I got anudder idea," said Pickles, eyeing Charles thoughtfully as he chewed on a chocolate. "Chock'lit syrup."
"An' whip cream?" Ganesh slurred around a caramel-filled mouth.
"Oh no!" Charles protested. "No, you guys! You know how long it takes to wash off fucking Hershey syrup? Aw, shit...."
Some time later, Charles was in the shower, irritably letting Ganesh scrub his hair.
"Caramel! Why did it have to be caramel?"
"That didn't seem to bother you ten minutes ago," Ganesh told him cheerily.
"It'll take weeks to get this off!"
"Dood, he's right," Pickles agreed. "Yoo missed a spot."
"Well, why don't you see to it?" Ganesh offered.
"Hey!" Charles protested, albeit very weakly.
"Dood! Now he tastes like soap!"
"Hrm. Well, run and get the rest of the pizza!" Ganesh suggested. "And maybe the pizza boy!"
"Doesn't that defeat the purpose?" Charles asked.
"What purpose?" mused Ganesh.
"Getting the caramel off!"
"We'll get the caramel off with the pizza, and then we'll get the pizza off with the pizza boy. And then we'll get the pizza boy off. And then we'll all eat the rest of Raziel's chocolates."
"I GOT ANUDDER IDEA!" Pickles announced. He had returned, waving a bottle. "Nat'an's barbecue sauce!"
"Brilliant!" said Ganesh, who started madly shaking the bottle
"It wuz Raziel's idea."
"What?" asked Charles, blinking back Explosion Sauce. "Was Raziel here again?"
"She came back wit' more chock'lits so we'd have enuf fer da pizza boy," Pickles told them, as he proffered a quite damp box with the words, "Love, Wotan," slowly melting down the side.
"Oh, but we let him escape," Ganesh sighed, picking among the candies.
"Dat's OK, dood, 'cause I jist called fer more pizza."
"Splendid! How I adore Valentine's Day!" said Ganesh.
"We'll be here all week!" Charles wailed.
"Hush," scolded Ganesh, popping a toffee into his mouth, "or we won't let you have any pizza boy."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-02-16 12:17 am (UTC)(TMI land) There was a time many many years ago when we had the idea of honey... but had no honey. Or much of anything else. Apparently Taco Bell sauce (it was mild!) burns quite a lot...
no subject
Date: 2011-02-16 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-16 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-16 03:34 am (UTC)(I think on general principle, Explosion Sauce Is a Bad Idea.)
no subject
Date: 2011-02-16 03:22 am (UTC)Boy, he really hates it.
"To me? Why does the box say, 'Love, Wotan?'"
"Oh, I put that on everything I buy myself these days! That way when he bitches about my spending, I just say, 'But you bought it for me, cupcake, don't you remember?'"
"And, this works?"
"I buy a lot of shit. It's hard for anyone to remember."
X3 Oh, Raziel.
"And why do you taste like chocolate?" Ganesh asked.
"Dis end don' taste like chocolate!"
...X3
no subject
Date: 2011-02-16 03:37 am (UTC)"Dis end don' taste like chocolate!"
...X3
There were so many really twisted jokes. But my lunch hour was over. For which I suppose everyone is grateful.