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tikificTitle: The Rainbow Ponies of Evil (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing, smoking.
Notes: This one is so fluffy, I’m almost ashamed of myself. Almost.
“Kids! Uncle Sariel is here!”
“Oh, don’t fucking do that Raziel,” Ofdensen grumbled, taking a seat at Valhalla’s cluttered kitchen table.
“Why not? They adore you.” The little angel filled a coffee cup for him, and then sat back down.
“The little fiends only want presents!”
“You brought them presents, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well then?”
“Only because they’ll fucking eat me if I don’t!”
Then came the sound Ofdensen dreaded most: the pitter patter of little feet.
Raven-haired Abigail had toddled over to where he was sitting. She stood, chubby arms outstretched, amazing blue eyes scowling with a fiendish intensity at him.
“Raziel, shouldn’t your kids at least try to act, you know, appealing?”
“What?” she asked, leafing through her Yoimuri Shimbun.
“This one is glaring at me! Like she’s gonna kill me!”
Raziel tutted. “My babies do not glare! They’re babies! It’s all your imagination.”
Ofdensen sighed and pulled the murderous tot up onto his lap. Goal achieved, Abby immediately started smiling and gabbling something unintelligible. He grabbed the toy he had brought and placed it in her tiny hands, where she occupied herself with it, hitting keys and producing cute boingy noises.
“So, how are the boys?” asked Raziel, sipping coffee.
“Oh, you know.”
Abby let out an especially sharp gabble. She had stabbed a button on the toy with one small finger, and caused little ghost butterflies to float above it. The girl clapped and laughed.
Ofdensen gawped. “Uh. It didn’t do that in the fucking store!”
“Yeah, probably not. They do stuff like that.”
Ofdensen experimentally poked at a butterfly. It popped like a bubble. “Shit!”
Abby’s angelic blond brother toddled over. He gabbled something, and Abby gabbled back.
“What is that they’re saying anyway? It sounds Angelic.”
“Yeah,” Raziel agreed. “And they seem to understand each other.”
Abby laboriously handed off the toy to Liam. He seized it and promptly fell on his butt beside where Ofdensen sat.
“You mean they’re already conspiring?”
“Sariel, they are not conspiring! They’re babies!”
“They’re angel babies! They’re evil!”
“How is Ganesha?”
“Oh, he’ll be up here in a bit. Some kind of UNESCO meeting?”
Liam was now squealing. In his hands, the toy produced little ponies leaping over a blinking rainbow.
“Raziel, your kids are scary.”
The door clattered.
“Oh, look, Daddy is here!” sang Raziel.
Abby was now standing up on Ofdensen’s lap. Wotan scooped her up in his mighty paws.
“Who’s the prettiest girl? Who’s the prettiest girl?” Abby smiled, her chubby cheeks rosy.
“Why does she fucking smile at him?”
Wotan now had a twin in each arm, both giggling. “Are you staying for dinner, Sariel?”
“Sure.”
“Splendid! The twins adore you!” And so saying, the Norse god deposited Abby back on Ofdensen’s lap, where she favored him with a murderous glance before yawing and sticking a satisfied thumb in her mouth.
“Why does she keep looking like she’s going to stick a shiv in me?”
“Oh, Abby gets a little possessive sometimes,” Raziel sang. “Oh, look, it’s your Uncle Ganesha!”
“Who loves her Uncle Ganesh? Who loves her Uncle Ganesh?” the Hindu god tickled Baby Abby's chin to gleeful smiles and more babbling.
“She smiles at you too!” Ofdensen said accusingly.
“Of course you smile at me!” Ganesh told the apparently smitten toddler. “You’re my smiley girl! Aren’t you? Aren’t you?”
“Tiny hell creatures,” muttered Ofdensen.
After dinner, Ofdensen found an empty sitting room. He collapsed on the couch and fumbled for a cigarette. It was then that he noticed he was not alone.
“Oh, you again?”
Abby glared and held out her chubby arms to be held.
“Ya know,” Ofdensen said, sitting back, “Sometimes, I like to sit without a fucking creepy angel kid on my lap? How d’ya like that?”
Abby’s tiny blue-eyed glare intensified.
“Oh, you wanna stare off. OK. Let’s go.” And so saying he leaned forward and locked eyes with her.
Suddenly, the little blue eyes were blinking back tears.
“Wait! Wait! Oh, don’t fucking do that! Shit!” He grabbed for the blubbering toddler and sat her in his lap. “OK. OK. There. Are we good?”
Suddenly, Abby was back to smiling.
“You’re a fucking con man, aren’t you?” he asked the girl. She batted long eyelashes at him, and gabbled something in toddler-Angelic.
Ofdensen jerked up in bed.
“They’re evil!”
“Wha’s evil?” Ganesh muttered.
“Raziel’s children!” Ofdensen declared.
“Wha childr’n?”
“The evil twins!”
Ganesh sighed and, pushing his hair back out of his eyes, blearily checked the readout on the clock radio by his side of the bed. “Raziel isn’t married yet.”
“Well, yes, but, when she gets married, and has children, they will be evil.”
“Uh-huh. How will they be evil?”
“She’s gonna try and get up on my lap!”
“Uh-huh.”
“The girl! The boy just sits on the floor! And, plays!”
“Um. Sounds positively diabolical.”
“And…. And there will be butterflies!”
“Evil butterflies?”
“Yes! No! I mean….”
“Well, yes, it definitely sounds like a hellish nightmare world, what with the lap-sitting and, er, non-threatening butterflies.”
“You don’t understand! It was a vision! And, I didn’t even tell you about the rainbow ponies.”
“I suppose it would be pointless to speculate that you are merely anxious regarding Raziel’s upcoming wedding, and this has manifested into a … mildly unpleasant dream?”
“I knew you’d react like this! They both like their Uncle Ganesh.”
“Well, of course.” Ganesh grinned sleepily. “Everyone likes me.”
“Only I see the danger!”
“Yes dear.” Ganesh had pulled out an extra set of arms and proceeded to wrap as many as possible around the agitated angel. “Now, please get back to sleep before I am forced to get out the butterflies. And, perhaps, little rainbow puppies.”
“Rainbow ponies.”
“Yes. Those too.”
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing, smoking.
Notes: This one is so fluffy, I’m almost ashamed of myself. Almost.
“Kids! Uncle Sariel is here!”
“Oh, don’t fucking do that Raziel,” Ofdensen grumbled, taking a seat at Valhalla’s cluttered kitchen table.
“Why not? They adore you.” The little angel filled a coffee cup for him, and then sat back down.
“The little fiends only want presents!”
“You brought them presents, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well then?”
“Only because they’ll fucking eat me if I don’t!”
Then came the sound Ofdensen dreaded most: the pitter patter of little feet.
Raven-haired Abigail had toddled over to where he was sitting. She stood, chubby arms outstretched, amazing blue eyes scowling with a fiendish intensity at him.
“Raziel, shouldn’t your kids at least try to act, you know, appealing?”
“What?” she asked, leafing through her Yoimuri Shimbun.
“This one is glaring at me! Like she’s gonna kill me!”
Raziel tutted. “My babies do not glare! They’re babies! It’s all your imagination.”
Ofdensen sighed and pulled the murderous tot up onto his lap. Goal achieved, Abby immediately started smiling and gabbling something unintelligible. He grabbed the toy he had brought and placed it in her tiny hands, where she occupied herself with it, hitting keys and producing cute boingy noises.
“So, how are the boys?” asked Raziel, sipping coffee.
“Oh, you know.”
Abby let out an especially sharp gabble. She had stabbed a button on the toy with one small finger, and caused little ghost butterflies to float above it. The girl clapped and laughed.
Ofdensen gawped. “Uh. It didn’t do that in the fucking store!”
“Yeah, probably not. They do stuff like that.”
Ofdensen experimentally poked at a butterfly. It popped like a bubble. “Shit!”
Abby’s angelic blond brother toddled over. He gabbled something, and Abby gabbled back.
“What is that they’re saying anyway? It sounds Angelic.”
“Yeah,” Raziel agreed. “And they seem to understand each other.”
Abby laboriously handed off the toy to Liam. He seized it and promptly fell on his butt beside where Ofdensen sat.
“You mean they’re already conspiring?”
“Sariel, they are not conspiring! They’re babies!”
“They’re angel babies! They’re evil!”
“How is Ganesha?”
“Oh, he’ll be up here in a bit. Some kind of UNESCO meeting?”
Liam was now squealing. In his hands, the toy produced little ponies leaping over a blinking rainbow.
“Raziel, your kids are scary.”
The door clattered.
“Oh, look, Daddy is here!” sang Raziel.
Abby was now standing up on Ofdensen’s lap. Wotan scooped her up in his mighty paws.
“Who’s the prettiest girl? Who’s the prettiest girl?” Abby smiled, her chubby cheeks rosy.
“Why does she fucking smile at him?”
Wotan now had a twin in each arm, both giggling. “Are you staying for dinner, Sariel?”
“Sure.”
“Splendid! The twins adore you!” And so saying, the Norse god deposited Abby back on Ofdensen’s lap, where she favored him with a murderous glance before yawing and sticking a satisfied thumb in her mouth.
“Why does she keep looking like she’s going to stick a shiv in me?”
“Oh, Abby gets a little possessive sometimes,” Raziel sang. “Oh, look, it’s your Uncle Ganesha!”
“Who loves her Uncle Ganesh? Who loves her Uncle Ganesh?” the Hindu god tickled Baby Abby's chin to gleeful smiles and more babbling.
“She smiles at you too!” Ofdensen said accusingly.
“Of course you smile at me!” Ganesh told the apparently smitten toddler. “You’re my smiley girl! Aren’t you? Aren’t you?”
“Tiny hell creatures,” muttered Ofdensen.
After dinner, Ofdensen found an empty sitting room. He collapsed on the couch and fumbled for a cigarette. It was then that he noticed he was not alone.
“Oh, you again?”
Abby glared and held out her chubby arms to be held.
“Ya know,” Ofdensen said, sitting back, “Sometimes, I like to sit without a fucking creepy angel kid on my lap? How d’ya like that?”
Abby’s tiny blue-eyed glare intensified.
“Oh, you wanna stare off. OK. Let’s go.” And so saying he leaned forward and locked eyes with her.
Suddenly, the little blue eyes were blinking back tears.
“Wait! Wait! Oh, don’t fucking do that! Shit!” He grabbed for the blubbering toddler and sat her in his lap. “OK. OK. There. Are we good?”
Suddenly, Abby was back to smiling.
“You’re a fucking con man, aren’t you?” he asked the girl. She batted long eyelashes at him, and gabbled something in toddler-Angelic.
Ofdensen jerked up in bed.
“They’re evil!”
“Wha’s evil?” Ganesh muttered.
“Raziel’s children!” Ofdensen declared.
“Wha childr’n?”
“The evil twins!”
Ganesh sighed and, pushing his hair back out of his eyes, blearily checked the readout on the clock radio by his side of the bed. “Raziel isn’t married yet.”
“Well, yes, but, when she gets married, and has children, they will be evil.”
“Uh-huh. How will they be evil?”
“She’s gonna try and get up on my lap!”
“Uh-huh.”
“The girl! The boy just sits on the floor! And, plays!”
“Um. Sounds positively diabolical.”
“And…. And there will be butterflies!”
“Evil butterflies?”
“Yes! No! I mean….”
“Well, yes, it definitely sounds like a hellish nightmare world, what with the lap-sitting and, er, non-threatening butterflies.”
“You don’t understand! It was a vision! And, I didn’t even tell you about the rainbow ponies.”
“I suppose it would be pointless to speculate that you are merely anxious regarding Raziel’s upcoming wedding, and this has manifested into a … mildly unpleasant dream?”
“I knew you’d react like this! They both like their Uncle Ganesh.”
“Well, of course.” Ganesh grinned sleepily. “Everyone likes me.”
“Only I see the danger!”
“Yes dear.” Ganesh had pulled out an extra set of arms and proceeded to wrap as many as possible around the agitated angel. “Now, please get back to sleep before I am forced to get out the butterflies. And, perhaps, little rainbow puppies.”
“Rainbow ponies.”
“Yes. Those too.”
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Actually, I found this one rather terrifying!
Date: 2010-12-23 06:50 am (UTC)Poor Ganesh. He'll learn. Too late, I fear, but he'll learn.
You know, I should have been asleep two hours ago.
Re: Actually, I found this one rather terrifying!
Date: 2010-12-23 04:19 pm (UTC)Re: Actually, I found this one rather terrifying!
Date: 2010-12-23 09:30 pm (UTC)I still need to draw Sariel and Ganesh. Arrgh! Why do I not have time right now? (Oh, yeah, 'cause it's two days to Giftmas.)
Re: Actually, I found this one rather terrifying!
Date: 2010-12-23 09:38 pm (UTC)(Oh, yeah, 'cause it's two days to Giftmas.)
*nods* I'm spending the week on job interviews. It has been a strange trip. But would be interested to see what you produce when things clear up a bit!