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Title: Avengers Assemble (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The kids play
Warnings: Nothing much.
Notes: The toy Thor hammer I mention is a real toy. And I want one.

“Whoa! Where are we going?” asked Charles, gently pushing away Elias. The boy, whose vision was obscured by a comically over large hoodie, peered up at his father, whom he had just run right into in his quest to fight evil.

“Benjers, Daddy!” Elias told him as his two cousins also ran up full stop.

“You guys are, uh, playing Avengers today?” asked Charles. It wasn’t really terribly difficult to guess, as Charles had just watched the movie approximately 852 times in the past 48 hours.

“Uh-huh!” said Elias.

Charles stood up straight and gave the children an appraising eye. “Well, OK, let me guess,” he said, fingering the red, white and blue July 4th oicnic plate Elias was carrying around. “You’re Captain America?”

“Uh-huh! Da Cap’n Merca!”

Liam growled and waved a pair of large green fists. He was dressed in a green hoodie.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’re the Hulk, Liam,” said Charles.

Yelling, “SMAS!” Liam whacked one electronic fist against the wall, and it produced not only a satisfying smashing noise, but a Hulk grunt and even a piece of music.

“Whoa!” said Charles. “Can I try that?” Liam nodded enthusiastically, and Charles grabbed one of Liam’s green fists, which he donned and then smashed on the wall, producing the remarkable noise. “Hey, can I borrow this?” he asked. “I’ll give it back.”

“Uh-huh!” said Liam, whose mom had taught him to share, and which he was fine doing, as long as it was not with his icky sister.

Charles turned to his niece, Abby, who he noticed was wearing a red wig. “Sooooo…. You’re Natasha Romanov, the Black Widow?” Charles asked.

“No, Wunky Sar!” protested the girl, who let fly a Nerf arrow from the little bow she was carrying. Charles winced. He wasn’t a big fan of arrows. “Reeda!” insisted Abby. “Fwum Bwave!”

“Oh, you’re Merida from Brave!” said Charles. (As it happened, Charles had seen this particular movie around 723 times in the past day.) “And, you’ve joined the team because, uh, Hawkeye is taking the day off?”

“Uh-huh!” declared Abby.

“Well, OK, that’s a nice creative blend of realities,” said Charles, who was honestly impressed at the synergy. He had always secretly wished to one day run an empire as dark and ruthless as Disney. “So,” he said, crouching down, “since you kids are fighting evil, you know that RED SKULL has been sighted in this vicinity?”

“WED SKUH?” gasped the little legion.

“Uh-huh. And I think they went … that way!” said Charles.

The children screamed and went barreling off. Charles, after whacking his Hulk fist on the wall one more time and grinning an evil grin, ambled off to Mordhaus’ meeting room, where the band was assembling. “So, uh,” said Charles taking a seat, and carefully keeping his new Hulk hand hidden under the table, “We only really have one agenda item today, that’s rehearsals….”

“WE DON’T WANNA REHEARSE!” said Nathan immediately.

“And, why is that, Nathan?” asked Charles.

“Scho booooorring,” complained Murderface.

“Ams not motivakabobbles,” explained Skwisgaar, who was, incongruously, practicing his guitar.

“I gaht a note frum da dahkter!” bragged Pickles, proffering a sheet of paper.

“Wait, what kind of note?” asked Nathan.

“It sez I’ve gaht perkuss-uh-philia. I’m skeered o’ drums! An’ udder instruments o’ percussion.”

“Uh, no, Pickles, I think you will find that ‘-philia’ is a suffix that indicates affection,” said Charles, grabbing the note. “This means you like drumming.”

“WUT?” asked Pickles. “Dahkter Jackov is a dumb douche….”

“We ams not rehoirses, and you ams not makes us,” said Toki, who for no apparent reason was cutting out a set of Diamond Jubilee paper dolls of depicting Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge.

“Well, Toki, do you know what I say to that?” grinned Charles.

“Be careful,” whispered Nathan. “I don’t like this.”

“I say…” said Charles, who thereupon slammed his Hulk fist on the meeting room table, causing a loud crash, a Hulk groan, and some cheery music.

Dethklok went dead silent.

“Ulp,” said Nathan.

Charles leaned over towards a quavering Toki. “You won’t like me when I’m angry,” whispered Charles.

Emitting a squeal, Toki dropped his paper dolls, which went fluttering to the floor, and departed the room. He was soon followed by the rest of the band, Murderface dropping a quick, “You’re so meeeean,” to Charles as he fled.

Charles sat alone at the table for a while, cradling his Hulk fist. “Damn,” he smiled.

“Sire?” came a deep voice from the doorway.

“Oh, hello, Pie!” sang Charles. It was his receptionist, Klokateer 31415. “I was just here, managing up a storm,” said Charles leaning back and crossing his arms, including his Hulk fist, behind his head.

“Sire, there is someone in your office who wishes word with you.”

“What, the band? But they just left,” said Charles.

“No, it is not one of the masters of Dethklok,” said Pie. Puzzled, Charles followed Pie back to his office.

“Oh, uh, Thor,” said Charles when he spotted the god sitting in the guest chair. “What a surprise.”

“Pray, close the door, kind sir!” whispered the blond god.

“Uh, OK,” said Charles, shutting the door behind him. “What’s going on?”

“’Tis your children who vex me, Sariel!” said Thor.

“Uh, wait, you mean the little kids?” asked Charles, holding his hand down low. Thor nodded sheepishly. “You know two of those kids are your brother and sister?”

“Yes, and they wish to play!”

“Ohhhhh!” said Charles. “Because they’re doing Avengers?” he asked, seating himself behind his desk.

“Yes! They think that mighty Thor would consent to quest with a group of mere humans. Humans!”

“Well,” said Charles, checking the fingernailes on his Hulk fist, “you can say no.”

“But I cannot, friend Sariel!” pleaded Thor. “They are willful angel spawn, and do not take easily to dissent!”

Charles glowered. “Uh. Thor. You do realize I’m an angel? And Boon’s father?”

“Yes of course!” said Thor. “You among all people must recognize my dire predicament.”

Charles slammed his Hulk fist on the table.

“By the Hammer of Mjolnir!” squeaked Thor.

“OK, here’s what we do,” said Charles, standing up. “You and me, we’re gonna go talk with the kids. NOW.” Charles stormed out of the office, the mighty Thor hastening after him.

Charles paused at his office doorway and listened with angel ears. Mordhaus was a cavernous structure, but it usually didn’t take long to locate three screaming kids. Indeed, he heard them right away. And something else that struck him as odd. “This way,” he told Thor. They soon found the kids playing in the living room. They were gathering to watch The Avengers for the 853rd time.

And, to Charles’ mild annoyance, Skwisgaar was with them, strumming his guitar. He wore a funny plastic helmet with wings on it.

“Uh, hello there, Avengers,” said Charles. “I suppose it would be pointless to ask why you’re not in the rehearsal stage, Skwisgaar.”

Liam happily slammed his Hulk fist to the floor, causing Thor to jump.

“Hellos,” grinned Skwisgaar. “I ams da Mighties Tors,” he added, pointing to his funny hat.

“WHAT?” said Thor.

“Dey ams needs da T’or guy, so I ams it. I ams probablies too handskomes though,” he added modestly.

“What right have you to impersonate me, Skwisgaar?” demanded Thor.

“I thought you didn’t wanna play,” sighed Charles.

“I got dis!” said Skwisgaar, taking out a plastic toy Mjolnir hammer. He bonked it on the back of the couch, which created not only a great thundering sound, but flashing “lightning.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Charles admitted.

“What wondrous magic is this?” asked Thor, going for the hammer.

“Probably made in China said Charles.

“OW!” said Thor. “Mine eye!” For, just as Thor lunged for the toy hammer, Skwisgaar fired a small missile from the plastic Mjolnir, shooting his half-brother right in the eye.

“It shoots missiles too?” said Charles. “Wow.”

“Hands off my hammersk,” Skwisgaar told Thor.

“Father hast said we should share!” whined Thor. “Sariel!” he pleaded.

“Well, usually I would agree with Wotan that sharing is important,” said Charles, holding his Hulk fist up and glancing at a grinning Liam. “But in this case, Thor, you said you didn’t wanna play, so I’d say you gave up your rights.”

“Alas,” sobbed Thor.

“What happened to your real hammer of Mjolnir anyway?” asked Charles.

“Oh, it wast a tale of an expansive nature,” said Thor.

“Long story, huh?” asked Charles. But suddenly everyone in the room turned to the sound of a loud clanging and banging, like metal scraping on metal.

It was Nathan, wearing his full set of armor, and carrying along his clanking Morningstar.

“Uh, dare I ask…” said Charles.

“I AM IRON MAN!” declared the singer.

“YAY!” chorused the kids, as Skwisgaar played the iconic chords.

“Watch da Bengers, Wunky Sar?” asked Abby, who was excitedly holding the remote control.

“Well,” said Charles, “I really should get on your guys’ asses for not rehearsing.”

“We makes da riddims sections go foist, ‘cause dey ams laziers,” said Skwisgaar.

“Yeah, plus TOKI,” added Nathan.

“Guy hasn’t ams motivalkation.”

“Well, just this once, I’ll let it slide,” said Charles. “But, you guys gotta let me be an Avenger too!”

“Oh, yeah, maybe you could be the geeky FBI agent dude who dies. You know how to do that,” suggested Nathan, rattling his armor.

“No. No support staff. I wanna be a team member.”

“You ams Blacks Widows den,” hooted Skwisgaar.

“I’ll pass,” said Charles.

“Wunky Sar,” said Liam. “Boos Bann!”

“You want me to be Bruce Banner?” asked Charles, picking up Liam. “And you’re the Hulk?”


“That’s a great idea,” said Charles. “Sharing!” He and Liam pumped Hulk fists, causing a tremendous noise, and sending Thor diving to hide behind the couch. The kids giggled.

“OK, Abby, start the picture,” said Charles, settling himself on the couch.

“But there’s just one problem, I can’t SIT DOWN in this armor,” said Nathan.

“It’s the lonely life of a superhero. That’s why they have so much angst!” Charles told him. “Thor! Quit cowering and get your ass on this couch!”

And so Captain America, the Hulk, Bruce Banner, Merida from Brave, Iron Man, Mighty Thor and the other Mighty Thor sat (or stood) to watch The Avengers for the 853rd time.
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