tikific: (Default)
[personal profile] tikific
Title: The Dark Side (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A movie viewing at Mordhaus.
Warnings: Nothing much.
Notes: This one has my reaction to Dethcamp. And one bit is “borrowed” from Tam: it's my new canon. Also, I’m going to Peru to see llamas, so Mythklok will be on hold for a while.

“Am I mistaken, or didn’t our child at one point have a bedspread? One with elephants on it?” asked Ganesh’s voice over the phone.


Charles put a hand over the mouthpiece and leaned over his desk. There was an elephant bedspread piled up there, talking to him.

“An da wobe!” said the bedspread.

“You’re a Jedi?” guessed Charles, who was strong in the ways of toddler-speak. “Dressed in your Jedi robes?”


“I’ve got it,” Charles informed Ganesh. “Our son has joined the Rebellion.”

“I’m sorry?” asked Ganesh.

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, I got this one,” said Charles, putting down the phone, smug with parental mojo.

“OOKIE!” announced Elias, holding up a very puzzled looking tiger cub.

“And Hobbes is your Wookiee?” asked Charles.


“Mew?” asked the cub.

“Don’t complain. At least you’re not Jar Jar,” smiled Charles.

“TAR WAR!” chorused the twins, who had just arrived, along with their mother.

“TAR WAH!” answered the bedspread, which slid over to meet them.

“Let me guess: Jedi robes?” asked Raziel.

“It’s turned making the kid’s bed into an adventure,” Charles told her.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be OK watching them all tonight?” asked Raziel.

“Sure! You watch Boon for us all the time.”

“Yeah, but when you have two, dumping in another barely registers. This is, I dunno, like adopting another member of your band.”

“You don’t adopt members of a band, Raziel,” Charles told her. “You join a band.”

“Even your band?” she asked arching an eyebrow. “So, what’s on for tonight? You gonna show them the cartoon?”

“We will be viewing The Empire Strikes Back.”

“Huh,” said Raziel. “Isn’t that a little old for them?”

“It’s a classic! Don’t you remember when you and I went to see it?” gushed Charles.

“Oh, you mean when you made me line up overnight outside that theater with all the geeks?” smiled Raziel.

“And you challenged that guy in an Obi-Wan cloak to a lightsaber duel?”

“Yeah, I disarmed him!” the little angel smiled.

“I thought you were gonna behead him! With a plastic sword!” added Charles.

Raziel grinned at Charles, and then said to her kids, “So, you guys gonna be good for Unky Sariel?”

“Yeeeeaaaaah!” chorused Liam and Abby. At least Charles assumed it was Liam as he was now wearing the “Jedi robe.”

“I wonder if I should have them little cloaks made? To save on linens?” Raziel whispered to Charles.

“If you’ll do, you’ll have to get a set made for my boys,” Charles told her.

“Are you running a band, or a summer camp?”

“Oh, don’t talk to me about summer camp!” Raziel started to speak, but Charles waved her off, saying, “Long story. Your Jedi will be fine….”

“SIFF, Unky Sar!” insisted Abby, tugging at his pantleg.

“Abby is a Sith,” Raziel grinned.

“Oh, just like her mother,” snarked Charles.

“I'll be back tomorrow,” Raziel told Charles. She paused to kiss Abby on the top of her head, and also aim a kiss at the bedspread, and then she was gone.

“All right, you guys, let's get going!” announced Charles. “Murgatroyd?” he added. “Living room!” The little wolf pup began yipping and herding the kids in the appropriate direction. Hobbes hopped onto Charles' shoulder for a ride. “You know, you're gonna be too big for that some day,” Charles informed the tiger. “You guys want snacks?”

“Pop, Unky Sar!” answered Abby, who grabbed on to his hand while Elias and the bedspread walked ahead.

“Yeah, we can make popcorn.”

“Bie!” said Elias.

“Well, of course there will be pie.”

“An' scream?”

“Yes, and ice cream.”

“Beeah!” shouted the bedspread.

“No, Liam, I do not think your mother would appreciate my giving you beer.” There was a chorus of giggles, and Charles silently thanked the Powers That Be that Dethklok was out on the town tonight. Drunken three years old angel kids was probably beyond even his parental capabilities. “Unless it's sugar free root beer.” He seemed to remember Toki had a stock. “All right, here we are,” he said as they entered the living room. “I'll just get the movie-”

“WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?” came the unmistakable voice of Nathan Explosion, who sat up with a grunt from where he was lying on the couch.

“Wunky Nate-Nate!” yelled Elias as all the kids tackled the burly lead singer.

“Ah, Nathan, I thought you guys were out tonight?” said Charles.

“Uh, I dunno. Some of the guys went out. To a movie or something. I thought I'd, y'know, stay in, maybe...” hedged Nathan, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

Charles frowned, wondering why the big man was seeming a big squirrely. “Well, that's fine. I thought I would show the kids Empire Strikes Back, but we could-”

“THAT'S AWESOME!” declared Nathan.

“TAR WAR, Wunky Nate-Nate!” enthused Elias.

“We're gonna make popcorn. And, uh, have root beer,” said Charles, hoping Nathan would take the hint as to the G-rated evening.

“Root beer is awesome. It puts HAIR ON YOUR CHEST!” declared Nathan.

“Oooo!” said Elias and Liam. Abby, by contrast, did not seem terribly impresssed.

“Hmm, perhaps I should not have partaken as a child,” laughed Ganesh, who had just come into the room along with Pickles. “It would have saved a fortune in waxing.”

“Too much INFORMATION,” grumbled Nathan as Ganesh sat down next to him. Liam immediately scrambled into his favorite uncle's lap, dragging behind him many acres of elephant-spotted Jedi robe.

“Pickles, uh, you're here too?” asked Charles.

“I t'ought it wud be gud if I were, yoo know, around,” said Pickles.

“Around?” repeated Charles, but Pickles merely shrugged. Charles cast a glance at Ganesh, who mouthed, “Later.” He passed an order for refreshments to the kitchen, and had no sooner seated himself than both Abby and Hobbes had claimed his lap. “I didn't think Wookiees and Sith got along!” he commented.

“Id's Chewbac!” Abby told him, holding up a very confused tiger.

“He probably won't care for this,” commented Ganesh, handing a frosty root beer to the bedspread pile in his lap.

“Who won't care for it?” asked Charles.

“Hobbes. It hasn't any tigers in it,” said Ganesh, who knew well the ways of tigers.

“What?” said Charles. “It has Chewbacca,” he told the tiger. “And you should aspire to be just like him, because he's the best friend a space smuggler could have.” He noticed that everyone had found themselves a place on the couches, other than Murgatroyd, who was making a circuit to ensure no popcorn reached the floor. “OK, punch it, Pickles!” he ordered.

Pickles hit the pedals, and a familiar fanfare sounded.

For a while, other than crunching and slurping, and occasional appreciative “Ooooh’s” and “Ahhhh’s!” the room went dead silent.

“What you ams watchings?”

The wily smuggler Han Solo and his friends had just slipped from the grasp of the Empire once again when Charles uneasily twisted around (by this time, Murgatroyd too had come to rest beside him), intending to make some remark to the effect that everyone should instantly recognize Star Wars.

He paused.

There were two figures standing in the entryway.

Pickles and Nathan exchanged a dark look. Charles signaled to Pickles, who hit pause, and, carefully brushing kids and animals from his lap, stood up, brushing tiger hair and stray kernels from his lap.

“Hello Charles,” said Magnus.

“Magnus,” said Charles, nodding slightly.

“You know, I think it's time for some ice cream!” said Ganesh. He stood, pulling a gleeful Liam up onto his shoulders, and made for the kitchen, Abby and Elias barreling after him. Elias spared a questioning look back at his father, who gestured for him to go.

“Those all yours?” inquired Magnus, mismatched eyes following the children as they scampered out.

“One of them,” said Charles, who was suddenly aware that Pickles and Nathan were now flanking him. Neither looked happy. He suddenly realized why both happened to be hanging around Mordhaus that evening.

“It's been a long time,” said Magnus.

“Yes it has.”

“Magnus ams my new pal!” gushed Toki, putting an arm around the grave guitarist.

“We had a good time at camp, didn't we?” asked Magnus, not dropping his gaze at Charles.

Charles became aware of a weight on his shoulder. Hobbes. The tiger's hackles were raised.

“Well, as you know, friends of Toki's are all welcomed here,” said Charles evenly.

“He did tell you what I done?” asked Magnus.

“Of course. We are all grateful.”

“Nathan ams gives me back my snowglobes too!” chirped Toki. Charles had to smile at the bloodstained relic now in place of pride on Toki's shelf.

“We are all in the middle of watching a movie. Would you care to join us?” asked Charles, half hoping the would, but half hoping they wouldn't.

“I ams t'inks-” started Tokil

“No, I think we were gonna hang out, play some Ninja Ghost Bomb,” said Magnus.

“Yeah, we ams plays da video games.”

“OK. All right, then, have fun, said Charles, who watched as the two men departed.

“Douche bag,” muttered Nathan.

“Dood, Charles, can't yoo do somethin' abawt him?” asked Pickles.

“Boys,” said Charles, running a tired hand through his hair, “You know as well as I do, anything we do to keep him away, Toki is only gonna try harder to see him.”

“I hate him more than I hate THAT FUCKING CLOWN,” rumbled Nathan.

“Well, now, Nathan, it's been a long time,” said Charles, reaching up to scratch Hobbes behind the ears. “Maybe Magnus has changed.”

“Do you really think so?” asked Nathan.

“Uh. Not really. No,” admitted Charles. “Look, it's late. Let's go get some ice cream, and then we'll watch the rest of the movie. OK?”

Nathan and Pickles were still both glowering, but they nodded, so Charles led them towards the kitchen.

“Uh, so did the other guys go see a movie?” he asked.

“Yeh, Murderface an' Skwisger. Dey can't stand t' be aroun' dat guy,” said Pickles.

“What did they go see?” asked Charles.

“Uhhhh. Night of the Evil Chainsaw Dead or something,” said Nathan.

“Oh boy,” said Charles.

“So, is there some special reason why my kids are sleeping in a room with a bunch of death metal musicians?” whispered Raziel.

Charles looked over her shoulder into Elias' room. All the furniture had been pushed to the walls, and the entire floor was covered in soft pillows. On top of those pillows, in various configurations, slept Elias, Liam and Abby, Hobbes the tiger and Murgatroyd the wolf pup, and Skwisgaar and Murderface. Hobbes was contentedly snoring curled up on Murderface’s back.

Charles smiled and gestured for Raziel to follow her. The walked to the suite's kitchen, where Ganesh was setting up a breakfast.

“Those two went out to a horror movie last night. I have no idea what they were drinking and smoking, but by the time they got back, they were too scared to sleep in their own rooms. I guess they tried Pickles, who knew enough to padlock his door.”

“They what?” asked Raziel, sitting down and tearing off a bit of croissant.

“And then Nathan just told 'em to fuck off,” related Charles, taking a seat.

“And then they were knocking at our bedroom door,” said Ganesh, who poured a bit of pressed coffee into everybody's mugs.

“And Ganesh wasn't pleased,” laughed Charles.

“No,” said the god. “I was not.”

“So, in order to prevent any unfortunate earthquakes, I sent 'em to the kid's room,” concluded Charles.

Raziel smirked. “So, the kids were OK? I mean, my kids?” she asked, stirring in cream and sugar with a little spoon.

“Yeah, they were great,” said Charles, who had grabbed an apple fritter. “We watched a movie and ate ice cream, and then they sort of konked out.”

“And we have apparently adopted a new band member,” sighed Ganesh, who was flipping through a newspaper on his electronic tablet.

“What?” asked Raziel.

“Magnus,” mouthed Charles, as if it were bad luck to say the guitarist's name out loud.

“Here?” Raziel mouthed back.

Ganesh and Charles nodded, Ganesh's eyes darkening a bit. “His aura is ill favored,” grumbled Ganesh.

“And the cat doesn't like him,” said Charles.

“MOMMEEEEEE!” hollered Liam, who was already squirming his way into Raziel's lap. Abby and Elias rushed in a second later.

“Oh, look who's up! Did you have fun with Unky Sariel and Uncle Ganesh?” asked Raziel.

“Uh-huh!” said Liam.

“Watch da movie,” reported Abby, who had taken the seat next to Raziel. “An ate scream!”

“An BEEAH!” said Liam.

“Uh, root beer,” corrected Charles, who was pouring out a bowl of Metal Flakes cereal for Elias.

“Baaawrrrgh,” came a moan from the kitchen doorway. Skwisgaar and Murderface now stood there, blankets wrapped awkwardly around them.

“Are those, uh, your Jedi robes?” asked Charles, causing both Ganesh and Raziel to nearly spit coffee.

“There is, er, plenty of breakfast, if you are up for it?” said Ganesh cordially.

“Somehow, I don't think these guys had root beer last night,” grinned Raziel.

“Coffee, ja?” moaned Skwisgaar, who, after looking around dubiously at the room full of children, had shuffled into a seat at the table. Murderface, too, took a seat and grabbed a jelly donut from the basket. Hobbes jumped up on the table beside him, but Ganesh skillfully employed and extra hand to banish the cub back to the floor as he was pouring coffee.

“So what did you kids think of Empire Strikes Back?” asked Raziel. Suddenly all three children began babbling at once, Elias awkwardly talking around a giant mouthful of Metal Flakes.

“An da sabers, Mommy!” said Abby.

“Abby has decided she needs a lightsaber,” Charles told her.

“Uh-huh! Vnnnnn!” Abby emphasized, causing all the children to make lightsaber humming and clashing noises, much to the apparent discomfort of Skwisgaar.

“Lightschabersch are cool,” agreed Murderface, who seemed somewhat better for wear than his band mate.

“An Bader!” said Liam. “Bader id da daddy!”

“Uh-huh!” agreed his cousin. “An whack da han, Nooooo!” Elias pulled his hand back into his pajama sleeve for a dramatic recreation of the famous scene.

“Noooo!” yelled Liam.

“What ams dey says?” asked Skwisgaar.

“Uh, that Darth Vader reveals himself to be Luke Skywalker’s father,” said Charles.

“WHATS?” asked Skwisgaar. “But, Vader ams da bad guys!”

Eating and drinking stopped as all at the table focused on the guitarist.

“Skwisgaar, you … you hadn’t seen Empire Strikes Back?” asked Charles disbelievingly.

“Ams busy,” grumbled Skwisgaar, going back to his black coffee.

“I saw it, and I didn’t even live on this planet!” said Raziel.

“You really don’t know about anything that ischn’t guitarsch, do you?” laughed Murderface.

“Pffft,” grumbled Skwisgaar.

“Perhaps you should have a viewing?” suggested Ganesh. “For your band?”

“That might be good,” agreed Charles.

“Could we get Jedi robesch?” inquired Murderface.

“I think I could take care of that,” chuckled Raziel.

“And remember to brush your teeth!” Raziel called as the kids skittered off to the bathroom.


“You’re gonna have a sink full of kid spit,” Raziel told Charles as they stacked up pillows in Elias’ room.

“Ganesh will get a cleaner. We’ve had worse. They have to clean up after our CD release parties, remember?”

Raziel pointed at the door, and it softly drew shut. “So, what are you going to do about this Magnus guy?” she asked, sitting down on Elias’ bed.

Charles did not reply, but sighed softly and sat down on the bed next to Raziel.

“He’s the one you fired, right?”

“The boys fired him, but I took the blame for it,” said Charles. “He had a lot of fans. At the time.”

“So, what are you gonna do?” asked Raziel, tucking her legs underneath herself.

“I don’t know. Ganesh says he has a rotten aura, and Hobbes just plain doesn’t like him.”

“And you…?”

“I never liked him. But I never hated him either. He just seemed like … I don’t know. He didn’t seem to fit in.”

“You’re not gonna tell me you feel sorry for him?” asked Raziel.

Charles shrugged.

“FINNIS MOMMEEEE!” hollered the twins as everybody bolted back into the bedroom.

“OK, say goodbye!” said Raziel, hopping up.

The Twins tacked first Elias and then Charles with hugs, and then with more yells of “Bye,” they and Raziel were gone.

“Daddeeee!” said Elias, wriggling up onto his bed beside his father. “Ook!”

Charles leaned over to view what Elias had been drawing on his electronic pad. He grinned at the portrayals of sleeping Murderface and Skwisgaar.

And then he stopped.

“Uh, Boon, this is Magnus?”

“Uh-huh! Id Maddus.”

As far as Charles knew, his son had seen Magnus Hammersmith a grand total of once, and then only for a minute or too. The likeness was uncanny, but this was not what surprised Charles the most. “What’s this stuff around his head?” he asked Elias. At first he thought it was a shadow, but it was too rough for one of his son’s artworks. It looked like a cloud of smoke around the musician’s head.

“Id maddick!

“It’s his magic?” asked Charles.


Murgatroyd yipped.

“Daddy, walk Muggatoad?” asked Elias.

“Yeah, you go walk the dog,” said Charles. They were off like a shot.

Charles sat on Elias’ bed, looking at the picture of Maguns. He felt a pressure on his shoulder. “What do you think, Hobbes?” he asked the tiger.


“Yeah. Me too.”
Page generated Oct. 16th, 2017 11:38 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios