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Title: Supernatural (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Two angels watch TV.
Warnings: It's a nice out there, go outside and play. I mean, until the show is on.
Notes: This is a crossover nobody's gonna get, but who cares? :D





“So, these guys are all gods?”

“Nope, they're human?”

Really?

“Really.”

“No fucking way, Raziel. No fucking way!” said Charles, reaching over to grab another slice of pie.

“Yup, all human,” said Raziel, smugly sipping her masala tea. “Mmmm, this is good. Thank Ganesh for me?”

“Yeah, I will. Why are they all so damned pretty?”

“Well, they just sort of are,” said Raziel, picking up the remote control. “There! There he is!” she said, hitting the PAUSE button.

Charles stared at the television screen. “Huh. That's the angel?”

“One of the angels.”

“Why is he so scruffy-looking? He needs a shave. And look at that overcoat! Not much taste! Is he supposed to be a Cherub or something?”

“But he's so pretty!” Raziel pointed out. “Look at those blue eyes! You could get lost in those blue eyes.”

“I dunno,” said Charles, who nevertheless gazed for quite some time. In fact, both angels sat and stared at the television angel at length, until Raziel finally recovered herself and hit the PLAY button.

“So, how did you get into this shit?” asked Charles as the show continued.

“Oh, it was Toki. It's got a really complicated backstory. That guy's been dead and come back a few times. And so have the humans.”

“What, really?”

“Yeah, somebody dies and goes to hell nearly every show. My father was not amused when I was telling him about it.”

“And the angels.....”

“Are a bunch of jerks!” grinned Raziel.

“Well, at least they got that right! Oh, hey, waitaminnit.”

“MUMMY!” yelled the twins, who had suddenly roared in, trailing wolves and tigers and various other things.

“What's up, guys?” asked Raziel.

“Id din din time!” Liam reminded her.

“It's dinner already?” asked Charles, eagerly cramming a chunk of pie into his mouth.

“No such luck: he means the animals!” said Raziel. “So, you guys got dog food and cat food and demon food .. and whatever that gravel demon eats?”

“UH-HUH!” the twins assured her.

“Well, OK then. Just NO BEANS FOR TIGGER!” The twins giggled. “Your father is still bitching about the scorch marks last time!”

“Yes, Mummy!” said Abby as Liam giggled, and then the both of them ran off, along with the rest of the menagerie.

“They take care of feeding the pets?” asked Charles.

“Yeah, Wotan thinks chores build character or something. Also, it's useful having three year olds who can heft a 50 pound sack of Purina demon chow,” laughed Raziel. “Though I suppose not a whole lot of families have pet bearcat demons. Huh. By the way, are you staying for dinner?”

“You got steaks?” asked Charles, his eyes suddenly lighting up.

“It could be arranged.”

“Then, yeah,” said Charles, taking out his phone.

“Where's Boonie and your better half?”

“Up at Ganesh's. They're still working on the mural.”

“Painting Ganesha's house?” asked Raziel, curling her legs underneath herself.

“Yeah. Hey Ganesh!” Charles said into the phone, punching the speaker button. He and Raziel immediately winced at the sound of crashing in the background. “Uh, how are things going?” Charles asked.

“Splendidly!” said Ganesh over the speaker. “Just splendidly! It's Daddy.”

“HIIIIIIII DADEEEEE!” came a voice. And another crash.

“Uh,” said Charles, looking at Raziel. “Raziel has invited us to dinner up at Valhalla.”

“HIIIIII WANTY WAZ!” screeched Boon in the background.

“That's splendid!” said Ganesh. “Perhaps her children would like to come out and lend a hand.”

“Uh, Raziel's kids?” asked Charles.

“My kids?” asked Raziel.

“Er, jaanu. Do you by chance have a number for your cousin Erzulie?”

“Yeah, I could look that up. What do you need?”

“Well, it's a zoning matter, and as she has recent experience.... Gautama is complaining about the dust again.”

“Buddha?” asked Raziel.

“Yeah, he's kind of a nosy neighbor,” Sariel told her. “What dust?” he asked Ganesh. “I thought you guys were just painting?”

“Our beloved son's vision has, rather, er, overspilled the former limits of my residence!” Ganesh announced happily, accompanied by some enthusiastic banging. “We've had to remodel. Well, a tiny bit.”

“Oh. Did you permit?” asked Charles.

“Errrrrr.....”

“I'll contact Erzulie myself!” promised Charles.

“All rightie! See you later!” said Ganesh.

“BYE BYE DADDEEEEEE!” yelled Elias.

There was a terrific crash, and the phone went dead. Both Charles and Raziel winced.

“Buddha's being a grumpy neighbor?” asked Raziel.

“The worst,” said Charles, squinting into his Dethphone. “Lemme just text Erzulie before I forget.

“Didn't Ganesha used to freak out over Boonie painting his den?”

“Oh, yeah, he had a meltdown last time!” said Charles. “He's just different, since Boon was, you know, away....”

“He's not spoiling him, is he?” asked Raziel.

“I wonder about it,” sighed Charles. “OK, you can hit PLAY,” he told her. He glanced up at the television screen. “OK, more pretty people.”

“That guy just got back from Purgatory,” said Raziel. “I think. Or maybe he was the one who went to Hell?”

“Purgatory. Hell. It's so hard to remember,” laughed Charles.

“Wait a minute,” said Raziel, pulling out her own phone. “I'll ask. Hey, Toki!”

“Ams you watchings da shows!” came the voice over the phone.

“Yeah, I'm here with Charles.”

“Oh! Charles ams watchings da shows!”

“Yeah. We had a question about, you know the guy?”

“Whats guy?”

“You know, that guy?”

“What, dat one guys?”

“No, the other guy.”

Oh, ja, dat guy! Hims ams beens to Purgabatory!”

“Oh, OK, we were wondering.”

“Toki!” came another voice. “You ams readies?”

“I ams still watchings da shows, Skwisgaar.”

“Pffft!”

“Ams not pffft!”

“Ams da boringses angels.”

“Angels ams nots borings!”


“Toki?” said Raziel, as Charles shook his head. “We gotta go!”

“OK, Raziel!”

“Pffft!”


Raziel hung up, looking questioningly at Charles. “You don't wanna know,” he told her.

“Sariel! How the hell are you?”

“Oh, I'm good Wotan,” said Charles as the large god stomped into the room.

“Staying for dinner after you finish off all my pie, I suppose?” huffed Wotan.

“Uhhhh,” explained Charles, looking down at the nearly empty pie plate.

“Ganesha and Boonie are coming too,” said Raziel. “They're up painting.”

“Not again! We'll have to get out the hose!” laughed Wotan.

“I guess he's having trouble with the Buddha again,” said Charles. “Complaining about all the dust.”

“He says it interferes with his cosmic consciousness, is what Ganesha has told me.”

“Neighbors! Fuck 'em! Glad I don't have any!” said Wotan. “All right, I'll go get some steaks on the grill!” Wotan stalked off, and Charles would have followed after him, if Raziel hadn't reached out and grabbed him back.

“Sariel! The show!”

“Oh,” said Charles, wiping the drool from his chin. “Yeah, let's see how it ends,” he agreed, spooning up the last piece of pie. “You gonna eat that?” he asked, once it was safely on his plate.

“Don't spoil your appetite.” Raziel clicked the remote, and the two angels stared at the screen once again.

They cringed as a shot was fired. “Oh my gods, THEY KILLED THAT GUY!” said Raziel, waving the remote.

“What? I thought you said they always killed guys?” said Charles, licking pie filling from his fingers.

Raziel dove to answer her ringing phone. “RAZIEL!” came the wail over the speaker phone. “DEY AMS KILLED DAT GUY!”

“I know! I know!” said Raziel.

“But you said they kill everybody!” said Charles.

“But not that guy!” protested Raziel.

“Dey ams never killed that dudes!” agreed Toki.

“Ams you not tired of dis stuff yet, Toki?” grumbled Skwisgaar.

“I ams watching! Dey ams killed da guy!” said Toki.

“Oh, whats guys?”

“Dat guys!”

“Oh, dat guys.”


“They can't kill that guy!” wailed Raziel.

“They just did,” said Charles. “But won't he just pop up again? You said they all just pop up again!”

“I need to call my father!” said Raziel, hitting the CALL END button.

“What's Phanuel gonna do about a TV angel?”

“He wasn't an angel!” Raziel told him.

“Hello, everybody!” sang Ganesh, who had just appeared in the room, hand in hand with Elias, the both of them covered in paint.

“Can't talk,” said Raziel, who was dialing her phone.

“I”m sorry?” said Ganesh.

“Uh, they just killed the guy on the show,” explained Charles.

“Not the angel in the trenchcoat!” gasped Ganesh.

“No not that guy,” said Charles. “The other guy.”

“Oh, but they never kill him!”

“Wait, you watch this show too?” asked Charles suspiciously.

“You could get lost in those blue eyes,” sighed Ganesh.

“IS EVERYBODY READY FOR DINNER? IT'S GETTING COLD!” boomed Wotan from the other room.

“Boonie!” bellowed the twins, who came and swept their cousin away. The ran to the kitchen, Elias leaving a little trail of paint-stained footprints.

“No, Father, not the blue-eyed angel, the other guy,” Raziel was telling the phone. She pointed to Elias's little paint-prints. “Wotan is not gonna be happy about that,” she whispered to Charles as she left to follow the rest.

“Oh, it's OK, I have a guy,” said Charles.

“What, that guy?” smiled Ganesh.

“No, another guy,” Charles assured him.

“Did you really eat all that pie?” asked Ganesh, pointing to the empty pie tin.

“Noooooo! Raziel ate half! Or three quarters!” said Charles.

“Angels,” snorted Ganesh.

“But you could get lost in my eyes, right?” asked Charles, suddenly gazing up at Ganesh.

Ganesh looked down skeptically for a moment.

Charles suddenly halfway stifled a rather loud burp.

“No,” said Ganesh. “I could not really get lost. I would simply use the sound of your rumbling stomach to find my way out,” said Ganesh, giving Charles a quick poke in the tummy followed by a kiss on the top of his head. “So, what did you think of the show?” he asked as they left the room.

“That guy is good looking, but he needs a shave. And a hairbrush. And a good dry cleaner.”

“And a pie?”

“That too....”
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