Happy Trails (Mythklok Interstitial)
May. 4th, 2012 05:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Title: Happy Trails (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The open road.
Warnings: Just the usual nonsense.
Notes: This is for Tam.
“So here we are!”
Elias screamed in joy, causing Murgatroyd to launch into a paroxysm of of that excited barking/yipping/squeaking noise he made.
Charles cast a suspicious glance at his partner. “Ganesh,” he patiently explained. “This is a minivan.”
“Yes, isn’t it glorious?” asked the god, throwing open the sliding back door so Elias and his tiny wolf could scramble inside to explore. “This is how American humans spend their vacations!”
“But I thought we were gonna get a cool sports car, like we did last year?” said Charles.
“DADDEEEE!” came Elias’ cheery report. “Gots da deebeedees!”
“Yes!” enthused Ganesh, handing over a remote, “You can watch movies.” Elias grasped it with little fingers, eagerly clicking from cartoons to more cartoons to still more cartoons.
“But I thought the point was to show the boy the country? He can watch that TV crap at home!” sniffed Charles as Ganesh, cheerily ignoring him, clambered in after Elias. Charles scowled: a pair of keys on an Explosion Sauce keychain were now dangling in front of his face.
“I found the SPARE KEYS!” Nathan intoned.
“That’s very nice, Nathan,” said Charles, taking the keys. “But, why are there more than one?”
“I dunno. They were ON THE KEYCHAIN?”
“So, I could take ‘em off?” asked Charles, twisting the keychain.
“DON’T TAKE THEM OFF!” scolded Nathan.
“Well, what do they go to?” asked Charles.
“No FUCKING IDEA.”
“Well then, why can’t we toss them?” asked Charles.
“YOU CAN’T THROW OUT KEYS!” barked Nathan, absolutely scandalized by the mere suggestion. “What are you, stupid or something?”
“Stupid? I went to law school.”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean,” growled Nathan.
Charles was just about to come up with a biting, snappy rejoinder that would have permanently put the self-absorbed lead singer firmly in his place, but he was jostled by a small woman stomping by, dragging a rolling Ghostbusters suitcase.
“Uh, hello?” said Charles.
The woman gave no greeting, but instead shouted, “Hey! Will somebody help me get this suitcase in the trunk? Preferably somebody tall and handsome.”
“Oh, hello there, tiny woman!” greeted Ganesh, leaping out of the van.
“Who the hell is this?” asked Charles.
“Why, this is a terribly tiny woman!” explained Ganesh.
“I’m a GMILF,” explained the woman. “And I’m going with you.”
“Oh, how marvelous!” gushed Ganesh, courteously rolling her suitcase around the back.
“Wait!” said Charles. “I thought it was just gonna be us three!” Murgatroyd barked irritably, so Charles said, “I mean, us four?”
“Hellos, lovely ladies,” purred Skwisgaar, as the small woman came back around from situating her suitcase.
“Yeah, whatever,” said the terribly small woman. “Hey, could someone give me a leg up? This is a pretty frickin’ high minivan.”
As Ganesh politely gave her a shove into the van, Elias piped up, “Hi! Id Boonie, an DIS MANY!”
“Aren’t you three yet, Boonie?” inquired the GMILF. “That’s a weird continuity error.”
“An Muggatoad, an Wunge, and Lelefun….”
“I ams Skwisgaar Skwigelf, da fastest geetarist in da land,” said the same, who had also oozed into the van’s seating area.
“OK, Skwisgaar,” said Charles, “You are definitely not coming with us!”
“What’s da prawblum?” drawled Pickles, puffing on something probably psychoactive.
“WE’RE TAKING A VACATION SO I CAN RELAX!” shouted Charles.
“Wanna hit?” inquired Pickles.
“Oh gods please!”
“Why waschn’t I invited to the minivan meeting? Isch it becausche I’m fat?” grumbled Murderface.
“Oh, you can certainly come along! Body size-ism is not PC!” explained Ganesh.
“Body schizsch-ischischm?” mused Murderface. “Do you guys have ische cream?”
“We could go get ice cream! We have a minivan,” said Ganesh.
“Doods, dat’s great, we c’ud go to da drive t’rough at Burzum’s. I gaht da munchies,” confessed Pickles.
“Ganesh?” asked Charles, who was puffing determinedly on the joint. “Can you please tell me what the hell Akshay Kapoor is doing here? Or am I already having hallucinations?”
“Oh, namaste, Poojums!” greeted Ganesh enthusiastically as the Bollywood star brooded darkly.
“We don’t have room for him,” Charles whispered as Poojums also favored him with an enthusiastic hug.
“Oh, he is Indian, so he can sit upon in the luggage rack!” explained Ganesh.
“I dunno….. Uh…” said Charles, as Kapoor, for utterly no reason, suddenly ripped off his own shirt. “Uhhhhhh. Yeah, I think he needs to go with us. He can go up with…. What the hell is Thor doing up there?”
“Thor abides up above the mere mortals, for he is mighty Thor!” explained Thor helpfully, waving his mighty hammer.
“Yeah, that’s great,” said Charles. “Meet Poojums,” he said as the actor too scrambled atop the car.
“Ams we readies to get popscockles now?” wailed Toki from somewhere inside.
“Toki? I’m not even gonna ask,” Charles told Ganesh. “Look, Ganesh, just … no. It was a good idea to get away with just Boon…” Murgatroyd barked. “…with just Boon and the dog, but there’s all these random people, I don’t know….”
Charles blinked. A set of keys dangled in front of him.
“You. May take the first shift. Driving,” said Ganesh.
“OK, everybody! Strap yourselves in, it’s gonna be a bumpy fucking ride!” yelled Charles, running for the driver’s door before Ganesh changed his mind.
“Bumpy wide!” giggled Elias.
“Oh, are they taking off?” asked Raziel, who had just appeared in the driveway.
“Yeah,” said Nathan, who was standing and watching the minivan lurch off. “He never did learn to DRIVE STICK.”
“Cool, well, I’m here to house sit,” said Raziel, waving at the departing mob.
“Oh. Cool,” said Nathan. “Hey, can I see your tits?”
“No,” said Raziel.
“DARN!”
“Wanna play poker? My father is coming.”
“YOU’LL JUST CHEAT!” wailed Nathan as they made their way inside.
“Yep.”
“Well, OK. Can I see your tits?”
“The answer is still no.”
“DARN!”
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The open road.
Warnings: Just the usual nonsense.
Notes: This is for Tam.
“So here we are!”
Elias screamed in joy, causing Murgatroyd to launch into a paroxysm of of that excited barking/yipping/squeaking noise he made.
Charles cast a suspicious glance at his partner. “Ganesh,” he patiently explained. “This is a minivan.”
“Yes, isn’t it glorious?” asked the god, throwing open the sliding back door so Elias and his tiny wolf could scramble inside to explore. “This is how American humans spend their vacations!”
“But I thought we were gonna get a cool sports car, like we did last year?” said Charles.
“DADDEEEE!” came Elias’ cheery report. “Gots da deebeedees!”
“Yes!” enthused Ganesh, handing over a remote, “You can watch movies.” Elias grasped it with little fingers, eagerly clicking from cartoons to more cartoons to still more cartoons.
“But I thought the point was to show the boy the country? He can watch that TV crap at home!” sniffed Charles as Ganesh, cheerily ignoring him, clambered in after Elias. Charles scowled: a pair of keys on an Explosion Sauce keychain were now dangling in front of his face.
“I found the SPARE KEYS!” Nathan intoned.
“That’s very nice, Nathan,” said Charles, taking the keys. “But, why are there more than one?”
“I dunno. They were ON THE KEYCHAIN?”
“So, I could take ‘em off?” asked Charles, twisting the keychain.
“DON’T TAKE THEM OFF!” scolded Nathan.
“Well, what do they go to?” asked Charles.
“No FUCKING IDEA.”
“Well then, why can’t we toss them?” asked Charles.
“YOU CAN’T THROW OUT KEYS!” barked Nathan, absolutely scandalized by the mere suggestion. “What are you, stupid or something?”
“Stupid? I went to law school.”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean,” growled Nathan.
Charles was just about to come up with a biting, snappy rejoinder that would have permanently put the self-absorbed lead singer firmly in his place, but he was jostled by a small woman stomping by, dragging a rolling Ghostbusters suitcase.
“Uh, hello?” said Charles.
The woman gave no greeting, but instead shouted, “Hey! Will somebody help me get this suitcase in the trunk? Preferably somebody tall and handsome.”
“Oh, hello there, tiny woman!” greeted Ganesh, leaping out of the van.
“Who the hell is this?” asked Charles.
“Why, this is a terribly tiny woman!” explained Ganesh.
“I’m a GMILF,” explained the woman. “And I’m going with you.”
“Oh, how marvelous!” gushed Ganesh, courteously rolling her suitcase around the back.
“Wait!” said Charles. “I thought it was just gonna be us three!” Murgatroyd barked irritably, so Charles said, “I mean, us four?”
“Hellos, lovely ladies,” purred Skwisgaar, as the small woman came back around from situating her suitcase.
“Yeah, whatever,” said the terribly small woman. “Hey, could someone give me a leg up? This is a pretty frickin’ high minivan.”
As Ganesh politely gave her a shove into the van, Elias piped up, “Hi! Id Boonie, an DIS MANY!”
“Aren’t you three yet, Boonie?” inquired the GMILF. “That’s a weird continuity error.”
“An Muggatoad, an Wunge, and Lelefun….”
“I ams Skwisgaar Skwigelf, da fastest geetarist in da land,” said the same, who had also oozed into the van’s seating area.
“OK, Skwisgaar,” said Charles, “You are definitely not coming with us!”
“What’s da prawblum?” drawled Pickles, puffing on something probably psychoactive.
“WE’RE TAKING A VACATION SO I CAN RELAX!” shouted Charles.
“Wanna hit?” inquired Pickles.
“Oh gods please!”
“Why waschn’t I invited to the minivan meeting? Isch it becausche I’m fat?” grumbled Murderface.
“Oh, you can certainly come along! Body size-ism is not PC!” explained Ganesh.
“Body schizsch-ischischm?” mused Murderface. “Do you guys have ische cream?”
“We could go get ice cream! We have a minivan,” said Ganesh.
“Doods, dat’s great, we c’ud go to da drive t’rough at Burzum’s. I gaht da munchies,” confessed Pickles.
“Ganesh?” asked Charles, who was puffing determinedly on the joint. “Can you please tell me what the hell Akshay Kapoor is doing here? Or am I already having hallucinations?”
“Oh, namaste, Poojums!” greeted Ganesh enthusiastically as the Bollywood star brooded darkly.
“We don’t have room for him,” Charles whispered as Poojums also favored him with an enthusiastic hug.
“Oh, he is Indian, so he can sit upon in the luggage rack!” explained Ganesh.
“I dunno….. Uh…” said Charles, as Kapoor, for utterly no reason, suddenly ripped off his own shirt. “Uhhhhhh. Yeah, I think he needs to go with us. He can go up with…. What the hell is Thor doing up there?”
“Thor abides up above the mere mortals, for he is mighty Thor!” explained Thor helpfully, waving his mighty hammer.
“Yeah, that’s great,” said Charles. “Meet Poojums,” he said as the actor too scrambled atop the car.
“Ams we readies to get popscockles now?” wailed Toki from somewhere inside.
“Toki? I’m not even gonna ask,” Charles told Ganesh. “Look, Ganesh, just … no. It was a good idea to get away with just Boon…” Murgatroyd barked. “…with just Boon and the dog, but there’s all these random people, I don’t know….”
Charles blinked. A set of keys dangled in front of him.
“You. May take the first shift. Driving,” said Ganesh.
“OK, everybody! Strap yourselves in, it’s gonna be a bumpy fucking ride!” yelled Charles, running for the driver’s door before Ganesh changed his mind.
“Bumpy wide!” giggled Elias.
“Oh, are they taking off?” asked Raziel, who had just appeared in the driveway.
“Yeah,” said Nathan, who was standing and watching the minivan lurch off. “He never did learn to DRIVE STICK.”
“Cool, well, I’m here to house sit,” said Raziel, waving at the departing mob.
“Oh. Cool,” said Nathan. “Hey, can I see your tits?”
“No,” said Raziel.
“DARN!”
“Wanna play poker? My father is coming.”
“YOU’LL JUST CHEAT!” wailed Nathan as they made their way inside.
“Yep.”
“Well, OK. Can I see your tits?”
“The answer is still no.”
“DARN!”