Sopping (Mythklok Interstitial)
Feb. 2nd, 2012 01:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: Sopping (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ganesh has a few too many teeny martoonies
Warnings: Utterly terrible rhymes.
Notes: The song is a bit of a filk of an Indian trance number called Dard-e-disco.
On the off chance that anybody cares, since this is H&G month, I’m gonna try to only post new chapters on days when they’re not putting up new stuff (which I think is Friday & Saturday). I'll keep posting weird shit when I want to, because I like writing weird shit, and anyway it's my blog.
“Ganesh!”
“Yes, my dear one!”
Charles tipped back the hood on his bright yellow rain poncho and leaned further over the balcony, scowling. “Are you making it rain again to add production value?”
“Of course, my only love!” yelled up Ganesh from where he stood in the courtyard below, soaking wet, amidst a retinue of similarly saturated backup dancers and drummers, all dressed in colorful, if sopping, costumes. “My only wish is to serenade you!” he declared, placing a pair of hands over his heart. Several of the backup dancers made similar gestures.
“You're gonna catch your death!” Charles wailed. “It's fucking winter up here!”
“Aw, but ams romanticsal!”
Charles turned to look upward, where a small group of Dethklok musicians, along with several Klokateers holding umbrellas, were gathered at the edge Skwisgaar's balcony.
“I dunno, that's KINDA GAY, Toki,” Nathan Explosion cautioned as he dug into his bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
“Then why are you all up there WATCHING?” hollered Charles.
“Dis ams da good entertainglements!” attested Skwisgaar.
“Yesch, you gotta hand it to Bollywood for old faschioned value for money,” added Murderface.
“You're not paying for any of this!” Charles shouted up.
“We're spending our valuable time!” Nathan countered, gazing up into the upended Doritos bag.
“Dat ams not nothings! I ams coulds be doings other things,” Toki said.
“What else ams you be doings, Toki?” scoffed Skwisgaar.
“I ams does a lots of t'ings, Skwisgaar!” Toki told him.
“Ja? Names ones!”
“I ams coulds bes.... Making snacks!”
“Yeah, that would be great,” said Nathan, tossing the spent chip bag Toki's way. “I'm outta chips.”
“I ams not the chips getsing persons!” wailed Toki. “I ams watchings the dances!”
“You're watching fuck all,” Nathan corrected. “They're just SHOUTING.”
“Yeah, Ofdenschen! Let Ganesch scherenade you scho we can get to schleep!”
“Wait, you ams going to sleeps?” chucked Skwisgaar. “I don’t t’inks my lovely ladies will ams lets me.”
Murderface wound up for what would doubtless have been a devastatingly witty rejoinder, which would have put the egotistical guitarist right in his place, had not Nathan Explosion suddenly shouted, “It’s the GOLD BIKINI GIRLS!”
All parties leaned over further as, far down below, Ganesh, backed by several women wearing rather miniscule golden costumes, began once again to dance and sing.
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
My lover soars on silver wings as high as the sky
I’ll never have to worry about leftover pie
My lover’s father is a seafaring guy
It has given him an interesting vocabulary
“Whatsamatter? He just wants you to dance with him!”
“Raziel!” said Charles to the little angel who had just appeared sitting on the balustrade. “Why does he have to make such a fucking spectacle of it?”
Raziel peered out from under her John Galliano rain hat for a moment. “You married a dancing love god, and you’re surprised about the spectacles?”
“Bollywood films use singing and dancing and this craptacular weather as a signifier for suppressed erotic desire.”
“Yeah, that sounds right.”
“Raziel! We could just go have sex!”
“Aw, but it’s so much cuter this way. Come on, he’s singing about you!”
“What the fuck is he saying?”
“Hee. Don’t you speak Hindi?”
“Of course I- RAZIEL!”
But the little angel had already leapt from the balcony and landed gracefully in the center of the courtyard below, where she threw off her raincoat to reveal a sari which was, oddly enough, colorful as it was revealing.
“Uh, Nat’ans? Ams you Oks?” asked Skwisgaar far up above, as Murderface experimentally waved a hand in front of the seemingly paralyzed singer’s face.
Raziel began to gyrate like a belly dancer while Ganesh and a crew of the backup dancers writhed around her.
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
My lover has a metal band if you please
With the collective IQ of a slice of cheese
They may bring on the end to the world of sweetness - Oh
Or maybe they’ll just sit there eating Doritos
“By the Hammer of Mjolnir! But that is a revealing outfit upon my father’s ladywife!”
“Oh, hey, Thors,” sighed Toki.
“Why don’t you ever schay cool schit like that, Schkwisschgar?” inquired Murderface.
“Pffft. Because I ams not a characster in da comicals books,” grumbled the Swede.
“Urk,” slurred Nathan Explosion.
Charles espied the gathering crowd, and made a decision. He tossed off his rain poncho and then he too was over the balcony and in the middle of the courtyard.
Raziel and a backup dancer immediately leaned over him and tore open his shirt. He glowered at Raziel while a convenient wind machine blew the ruined shirt back in a sexy manner.
“Wow, Charles ams works out,” noted an approving Toki.
“To Gold’s Gym one must go if one is to remained ever chiseled,” noted Thor, who was dipping his hand in Nathan’s chip bag looking for crumbs.
Skwisgaar said nothing, but when he thought no one was looking, silently pinched his own waist.
Down below, Ganesh had grabbed Charles and begun to swing him around.
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
My angel lover’s virtues I would enumerate completely
But I’m prevented from sharing saucy details by cultural modesty
And now I feel stirrings that would make the censors blush
I need to take my cranky angel somewhere private in a rush
Ganesh had wrapped up the last dance move with an eyelock on Charles of such intensity that it probably would have gotten him banned from Indian cinemas for at least a 10 year period.
And then, with a sudden flash of lightning, the couple was gone.
And the backup singers were gone.
And the musicians were gone.
Lady Raziel stood alone in the courtyard, where she grinned up and blew a tiny angel kiss at Nathan Explosion.
And then she too was gone.
“Well, show ams overs for da nights,” said Skwisgaar, holding a hand out to feel the lack of rain.
“That was a clever use of lighting effects,” allowed Thor. “Did anyone else wish some ice cream?”
“ICE CREAMS!” chirped Toki as the various parties prepared to go.
“Oopsch,” said Murderface, as Nathan remained standing stock still.
“Too much of da Ladies Razzes in da sorries,” laughed Skwisgaar, suddenly giving Nathan a well-aimed slap on the face.
“Tits!” said Nathan.
“Ja, we knows, my friend, we knows,” laughed Skwisgaar, hooking an arm around Nathan and leading the group back inside. "We knows."
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ganesh has a few too many teeny martoonies
Warnings: Utterly terrible rhymes.
Notes: The song is a bit of a filk of an Indian trance number called Dard-e-disco.
On the off chance that anybody cares, since this is H&G month, I’m gonna try to only post new chapters on days when they’re not putting up new stuff (which I think is Friday & Saturday). I'll keep posting weird shit when I want to, because I like writing weird shit, and anyway it's my blog.
“Ganesh!”
“Yes, my dear one!”
Charles tipped back the hood on his bright yellow rain poncho and leaned further over the balcony, scowling. “Are you making it rain again to add production value?”
“Of course, my only love!” yelled up Ganesh from where he stood in the courtyard below, soaking wet, amidst a retinue of similarly saturated backup dancers and drummers, all dressed in colorful, if sopping, costumes. “My only wish is to serenade you!” he declared, placing a pair of hands over his heart. Several of the backup dancers made similar gestures.
“You're gonna catch your death!” Charles wailed. “It's fucking winter up here!”
“Aw, but ams romanticsal!”
Charles turned to look upward, where a small group of Dethklok musicians, along with several Klokateers holding umbrellas, were gathered at the edge Skwisgaar's balcony.
“I dunno, that's KINDA GAY, Toki,” Nathan Explosion cautioned as he dug into his bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
“Then why are you all up there WATCHING?” hollered Charles.
“Dis ams da good entertainglements!” attested Skwisgaar.
“Yesch, you gotta hand it to Bollywood for old faschioned value for money,” added Murderface.
“You're not paying for any of this!” Charles shouted up.
“We're spending our valuable time!” Nathan countered, gazing up into the upended Doritos bag.
“Dat ams not nothings! I ams coulds be doings other things,” Toki said.
“What else ams you be doings, Toki?” scoffed Skwisgaar.
“I ams does a lots of t'ings, Skwisgaar!” Toki told him.
“Ja? Names ones!”
“I ams coulds bes.... Making snacks!”
“Yeah, that would be great,” said Nathan, tossing the spent chip bag Toki's way. “I'm outta chips.”
“I ams not the chips getsing persons!” wailed Toki. “I ams watchings the dances!”
“You're watching fuck all,” Nathan corrected. “They're just SHOUTING.”
“Yeah, Ofdenschen! Let Ganesch scherenade you scho we can get to schleep!”
“Wait, you ams going to sleeps?” chucked Skwisgaar. “I don’t t’inks my lovely ladies will ams lets me.”
Murderface wound up for what would doubtless have been a devastatingly witty rejoinder, which would have put the egotistical guitarist right in his place, had not Nathan Explosion suddenly shouted, “It’s the GOLD BIKINI GIRLS!”
All parties leaned over further as, far down below, Ganesh, backed by several women wearing rather miniscule golden costumes, began once again to dance and sing.
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
My lover soars on silver wings as high as the sky
I’ll never have to worry about leftover pie
My lover’s father is a seafaring guy
It has given him an interesting vocabulary
“Whatsamatter? He just wants you to dance with him!”
“Raziel!” said Charles to the little angel who had just appeared sitting on the balustrade. “Why does he have to make such a fucking spectacle of it?”
Raziel peered out from under her John Galliano rain hat for a moment. “You married a dancing love god, and you’re surprised about the spectacles?”
“Bollywood films use singing and dancing and this craptacular weather as a signifier for suppressed erotic desire.”
“Yeah, that sounds right.”
“Raziel! We could just go have sex!”
“Aw, but it’s so much cuter this way. Come on, he’s singing about you!”
“What the fuck is he saying?”
“Hee. Don’t you speak Hindi?”
“Of course I- RAZIEL!”
But the little angel had already leapt from the balcony and landed gracefully in the center of the courtyard below, where she threw off her raincoat to reveal a sari which was, oddly enough, colorful as it was revealing.
“Uh, Nat’ans? Ams you Oks?” asked Skwisgaar far up above, as Murderface experimentally waved a hand in front of the seemingly paralyzed singer’s face.
Raziel began to gyrate like a belly dancer while Ganesh and a crew of the backup dancers writhed around her.
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
My lover has a metal band if you please
With the collective IQ of a slice of cheese
They may bring on the end to the world of sweetness - Oh
Or maybe they’ll just sit there eating Doritos
“By the Hammer of Mjolnir! But that is a revealing outfit upon my father’s ladywife!”
“Oh, hey, Thors,” sighed Toki.
“Why don’t you ever schay cool schit like that, Schkwisschgar?” inquired Murderface.
“Pffft. Because I ams not a characster in da comicals books,” grumbled the Swede.
“Urk,” slurred Nathan Explosion.
Charles espied the gathering crowd, and made a decision. He tossed off his rain poncho and then he too was over the balcony and in the middle of the courtyard.
Raziel and a backup dancer immediately leaned over him and tore open his shirt. He glowered at Raziel while a convenient wind machine blew the ruined shirt back in a sexy manner.
“Wow, Charles ams works out,” noted an approving Toki.
“To Gold’s Gym one must go if one is to remained ever chiseled,” noted Thor, who was dipping his hand in Nathan’s chip bag looking for crumbs.
Skwisgaar said nothing, but when he thought no one was looking, silently pinched his own waist.
Down below, Ganesh had grabbed Charles and begun to swing him around.
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
I fell in love with a cranky angel
Cranky angel, cranky angel
My angel lover’s virtues I would enumerate completely
But I’m prevented from sharing saucy details by cultural modesty
And now I feel stirrings that would make the censors blush
I need to take my cranky angel somewhere private in a rush
Ganesh had wrapped up the last dance move with an eyelock on Charles of such intensity that it probably would have gotten him banned from Indian cinemas for at least a 10 year period.
And then, with a sudden flash of lightning, the couple was gone.
And the backup singers were gone.
And the musicians were gone.
Lady Raziel stood alone in the courtyard, where she grinned up and blew a tiny angel kiss at Nathan Explosion.
And then she too was gone.
“Well, show ams overs for da nights,” said Skwisgaar, holding a hand out to feel the lack of rain.
“That was a clever use of lighting effects,” allowed Thor. “Did anyone else wish some ice cream?”
“ICE CREAMS!” chirped Toki as the various parties prepared to go.
“Oopsch,” said Murderface, as Nathan remained standing stock still.
“Too much of da Ladies Razzes in da sorries,” laughed Skwisgaar, suddenly giving Nathan a well-aimed slap on the face.
“Tits!” said Nathan.
“Ja, we knows, my friend, we knows,” laughed Skwisgaar, hooking an arm around Nathan and leading the group back inside. "We knows."
