The Secret Stash (Mythklok Intertidal)
Dec. 13th, 2011 04:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tikificTitle: The Secret Stash (Mythklok Intertidal)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sariel discovers some hidden files on Ganesh's laptop
Warnings: Abundant Mary Sue Pachyderms
Notes: Complete nonsense written in 12 minutes flat. Regard accordingly.
“Ganesh?”
“Yes dear?”
“Uh. Well. Thank you for letting me use your laptop.”
“Oh, you are quite welcome,” enthused Ganesh, pulling Charles and the computer down into his lap.
“It's uh, a nice computer.”
“I shall extract repayment of strictly sexual nature,” muttered Ganesh, who was now gnawing contentedly on Charles' neck.
“I just, uh, kinda wanted to know.....”
“Mmm-hmmm?”
“Well, there was this file, 'Fiction,' that I sort of accidentally clicked....”
“Oooooooo!” said Ganesh, suddenly sitting up straight and, Charles still bunched in his clutches, opening up the laptop on Charles' lap. “You have found my little attempts at fiction.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, it wasn't password protected or anything.....”
“Oh, no! I don't mind at all,” said Ganesh, clicking open the file whilst continuing to grope Charles' thigh.
“Well, anyway, then,” said Charles, now clicking himself. “I did skim a few. They're very well written!”
“Oh, thank you,” enthused Ganesh as he chewed on Charles' ear a bit.
“But, there was this thing I was noticing. You write stuff that's based on other books?”
“Oh, yes, fan fiction. It's a dawdle! Highly amusing.”
“OK, so, you wrote a Wuthering Heights piece....”
“Bronte! One of the best.”
“And, uh, Heathcliff.... Ends up with a handsome elephant?”
“He seemed rather happier, don't you think?”
“And, uh, Gone with the Wind?”
“I adore period pieces, don't you?”
“Leaves Scarlett O'Hara.... for a handsome elephant?”
“Well, she was not a rather kind person!” attested Ganesh, narrowing his lovely brown eyes at the thought of the selfish southern belle.
“And, uh, Mr. Darcy ends up with a handsome elephant....”
“One of my favorite literary characters.....”
“And Mr. Rochester..... Ganesh. Do you know what a Mary Sue is?”
“Yes!” snapped Ganesh, who seemed suddenly not so sanguine. “It is a term used to disempower young females who envision themselves in positions of power and authority.”
“Ganesh! You are.... You are writing yourself into these stories!” said Charles, tapping the screen with his finger.
“Yes,” agreed Ganesh, cheerfully laying back on the bed. “And what is so wrong about that?”
“But....”
“Haven't you ever fantasized yourself as a favorite literary character, Sariel?”
“Ganesh! I'm a fucking angel. Why would I have a fantasy?”
“NEVER?” asked Ganesh suspiciously, gently pulling Charles down beside him.
“Look. OK. Maybe I had a fantasy. I didn't work out so well.”
“Yes?”
“I was. You know. A human guy. Just human. With a wife.” Charles trailed off.
“And....”
“And it didn't work out so well.”
“How did it not work out well?” prompted Ganesh.
“Whaddya mean? It was a disaster!”
“But! You ended up with a handsome elephant, didn't you?” said Ganesh triumphantly, pulling Charles on top of him. “And that is the happy ending to every story.”
“Well....” said Charles. Who found he could not disagree.
“We shall write a new story,” declared Ganesh, grinning and setting the laptop aside. “Of a handsome elephant and a dead sexy angel. We shall start writing.... Mmmmmm.... In a bit...”
And so they lived happily ever after. Because there was a handsome elephant. So there.
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sariel discovers some hidden files on Ganesh's laptop
Warnings: Abundant Mary Sue Pachyderms
Notes: Complete nonsense written in 12 minutes flat. Regard accordingly.
“Ganesh?”
“Yes dear?”
“Uh. Well. Thank you for letting me use your laptop.”
“Oh, you are quite welcome,” enthused Ganesh, pulling Charles and the computer down into his lap.
“It's uh, a nice computer.”
“I shall extract repayment of strictly sexual nature,” muttered Ganesh, who was now gnawing contentedly on Charles' neck.
“I just, uh, kinda wanted to know.....”
“Mmm-hmmm?”
“Well, there was this file, 'Fiction,' that I sort of accidentally clicked....”
“Oooooooo!” said Ganesh, suddenly sitting up straight and, Charles still bunched in his clutches, opening up the laptop on Charles' lap. “You have found my little attempts at fiction.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, it wasn't password protected or anything.....”
“Oh, no! I don't mind at all,” said Ganesh, clicking open the file whilst continuing to grope Charles' thigh.
“Well, anyway, then,” said Charles, now clicking himself. “I did skim a few. They're very well written!”
“Oh, thank you,” enthused Ganesh as he chewed on Charles' ear a bit.
“But, there was this thing I was noticing. You write stuff that's based on other books?”
“Oh, yes, fan fiction. It's a dawdle! Highly amusing.”
“OK, so, you wrote a Wuthering Heights piece....”
“Bronte! One of the best.”
“And, uh, Heathcliff.... Ends up with a handsome elephant?”
“He seemed rather happier, don't you think?”
“And, uh, Gone with the Wind?”
“I adore period pieces, don't you?”
“Leaves Scarlett O'Hara.... for a handsome elephant?”
“Well, she was not a rather kind person!” attested Ganesh, narrowing his lovely brown eyes at the thought of the selfish southern belle.
“And, uh, Mr. Darcy ends up with a handsome elephant....”
“One of my favorite literary characters.....”
“And Mr. Rochester..... Ganesh. Do you know what a Mary Sue is?”
“Yes!” snapped Ganesh, who seemed suddenly not so sanguine. “It is a term used to disempower young females who envision themselves in positions of power and authority.”
“Ganesh! You are.... You are writing yourself into these stories!” said Charles, tapping the screen with his finger.
“Yes,” agreed Ganesh, cheerfully laying back on the bed. “And what is so wrong about that?”
“But....”
“Haven't you ever fantasized yourself as a favorite literary character, Sariel?”
“Ganesh! I'm a fucking angel. Why would I have a fantasy?”
“NEVER?” asked Ganesh suspiciously, gently pulling Charles down beside him.
“Look. OK. Maybe I had a fantasy. I didn't work out so well.”
“Yes?”
“I was. You know. A human guy. Just human. With a wife.” Charles trailed off.
“And....”
“And it didn't work out so well.”
“How did it not work out well?” prompted Ganesh.
“Whaddya mean? It was a disaster!”
“But! You ended up with a handsome elephant, didn't you?” said Ganesh triumphantly, pulling Charles on top of him. “And that is the happy ending to every story.”
“Well....” said Charles. Who found he could not disagree.
“We shall write a new story,” declared Ganesh, grinning and setting the laptop aside. “Of a handsome elephant and a dead sexy angel. We shall start writing.... Mmmmmm.... In a bit...”
And so they lived happily ever after. Because there was a handsome elephant. So there.
