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[personal profile] tikific
Title: Bambini (Mythklok, Chapter 41)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Destruction. Plus, we go to a bar.
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing, wings
Notes: Notes after the jump.

Cross-posted to [livejournal.com profile] capslokdethklok.



Mythklok is a Metalocalypse AU. If you're behind and for some strange reason wanna catch up, the best place is my fic journal, [livejournal.com profile] tikific, where you are welcome to come visit the bits I’ve written and maybe poke them with a pointed stick. I've also written a general introduction in case you wanna jump in the middle of things, or have forgotten all this stuff due to Real Life.

So, last time, I had one OC shuffle off, and two OCs shuffle in, so, I'm not doing so good. What with all the chatty OCs and the alternate universe-to-the-alternate universe trick, I kinda wonder if there's even anybody left reading this crap. I definitely don't think anybody bothers with the recaps any more. I mean, the universe has gotten so complicated, even I don't know what the hell is going on any more. I think there's like chain smoking angels and gay elephant gods or something. Let’s see. I had Charles stuck in an alternate universe, but he got better. However, in the process, Ganesh kind of destroyed his pretty residence, so now he’s brought his couture wardrobe and his back issues of Vogue Hommes down to Mordhaus. The boys think this is awesome, as after 17 centuries of practice, he fixes the world’s most lethal martinis. Raziel had her twins. They’re not terribly interesting yet, though, they’ve just been sleeping and spitting up. Oh, and Dethklok has been doing pretty much nothing on the new album, but you knew that. Pickles’ horrible brother, Seth, has declared himself Grand Duke of Australia, and invited Pickles’ stupid parents to live down there, so Pickles is not in the best headspace right now.

Anyway. This one refers to something that happened in the Interstitial, Supermodel, so you might wanna read that first, it’s pretty short. (You don’t have to, it’s not your English class, just a suggestion.)

Here's another suggestion: instead of reading, you could just look at this. *sigh*



Bambini


Mordhaus, band meeting time....

"So, I don't UNDERSTAND," Nathan growled.

"You've been invited to the, uh, Naming ceremony for Raziel's twins."

"Dood! Da godz are gonna bestow names upon da baby doods!"

"Ah. Yeah. Pickles is correct. They will Name, the, ah, baby dudes."

"Why doesn't Raz just use, you know, one of those books you see at the drug store?"

"Well, ah, names are sort of important. To our kind. Ganesh has a thousand names."

"A thousand names! Dude, seriously. What does his fucking driver’s license look like?"

"I think he might, ah, abbreviate it there."

"Or think about his scheckbook!" Murderface posited.

"It's sort of like an alliance. People promise they will protect the children."

"Protect them from what? Why do the baby dudes need protection? They're too young to get VD!"

"Well, actually, protect them from the people who are Naming them."

"So, nobody gets killed?"

"That is the intent."

"Sounds BORING."

"Well, uh, the ceremony should be fairly short. As Wotan doesn't care for that sort of thing. And there will be booze and women...."

"You think that's all we care about? Booze and women? You think we're SHALLOW?"

"Shallow? I wouldn't say you were shallow, Nathan."

"What would you say then?"

"I would say you're selectively attentive to certain priorities? Like, uh, booze. And, uh, women."

"So why are you going? I thought you hated kids."

"I do indeed despise children, Nathan. They are cloying. And sticky. And most do not smoke cigars."

“Sooooooo….”

"Well, I have known Raziel for a very long time. And I am well aware, that, if she put her mind to it, she could quite easily slice my head off."

"Easily, huh?"

"Quite easily."

"So, uh, what were you and your dad fighting about last night?"

Charles cringed. Since his mother, Tzaphkiel's, death, Ogoun Sen Jacque, his father, had begun to visit Mordhaus on a rather regular basis. It was surprising, as Jacque needed to travel from a distant universe to reach them. Evidently, Ganesh claimed, an unintended consequence of his vodoun spell to bring Charles back had been the carving of a rather commodious pathway for Jacque and other practitioners to follow.

As it had been his mother's literal dying wish that he get to know his father, Charles had found himself reluctant to gainsay these encounters. And he did not dislike Jacque. And as Jacque drank, smoked, swore a blue streak and seemed to believe machetes were chic fashion accoutrements, his boys rather adored him. To be quite honest, the traitorous bastards seemed to prefer his father over him.

But their conversations, for whatever reason, seemed to devolve with stunning rapidity into heated exchanges. And thence into certain displacement of objects. Heavy objects. Since both men happened to possess rather intense magical powers, such objects tended to be curio cabinets, pianos, decorative pissing angel fountains, and, in one case, since Ganesh had banished them outdoors, and much to Charles’ chagrin, especially after his Klokkountants had displayed for him the invoice the next day, an entire Dethcopter.

"Uh, nothing much. Sorry if we woke you up."

"You didn't wake us."

They ams woke me," Toki protested.

"You go to bed too fucking early."

"Uh. It wasn't loud, was it?"

"Dude. You took down the entire south tower.”

“Uh.”

“Don’t think there was anyone in it though!”

“Dere were some o’ dem Cherub doods. But I t’ink dey flew away.”

“It ams entertaining. I ams got it on da video tapings.”

“But you know what you need to schay now?” Murderface scolded.

“Uh. I’ll meet my father far away from any structures?”

“No, dude, THE OTHER THING!” Nathan insisted.

Charles scanned the table, five musicians now glaring at him.

“Uhhhh, the good news is, I’m sorry?”

There were grins. “Dere ya go!”

The musicians got up to leave. Charles had his head in his hands. He wondered what he could to do send his Klokkountants away for a very long vacation.



Valhalla…

"Where's Ganesha?" Raziel inquired.

"He's with Elegba again."

"Casting spells?"

"Cleaning up after another spell. Turns out at this Santeria crap is a tricky business."

"So, he's practicing Vodoun now?"

Sariel shrugged. "Gives him something to do. A distraction."

Raziel frowned. "He needs a distraction?"

"Raziel, your kids aren't repellant enough yet!"

"Oh, they're pretty awful. What's the matter?"

"You let the freaking knitting circle see the brats, and then Parvati gets all googly and sends pictures to Shiva, and then he's on Ganesh's ass, where's my freaking heir already?"

"Freaking?" asked Raziel.

"I can't even talk any more! There might be freaking babies around!"

"Believe me, babies really don't care if you say fuck." Raziel studied Sariel. "So, what are you gonna do?"

"I dunno. Defer it."

"You can't defer it forever."

"Yes we can. We're immortal."

"Sariel!"

“What?”

“You know, I have kids now.”

“Yeah, I kind of noticed that.”

“What I mean is,” Raziel paused, and seemed to consider her words. “Wotan and I will be around. For the next few years. In case you get in over your head again. Which, you tend to do.”

“What are you saying?”

She frowned. “I like Ganesha.”

"You only like Ganesh because he's cute."

"He's not cute. He's gorgeous."

"I hesitate to admit it, as I am also modest," Ganesh said, greeting Raziel with a kiss on the top of her head.

"Where's my freaking kiss?"

"You only appear to think I'm cute," Ganesh laughed, wagging a finger at him.

"HERE'S UNCLE GANESH!" Wotan called, hefting a baby in each arm.

"And Uncle Sariel," he grumbled as Ganesh seized Abby.

"Who's the pretty girl?" inquired Ganesh, as Abby coquettishly batted her little blue eyes at him.

"Oh, give me that," Sariel insisted, grabbing Abby away from Ganesh. "You don't have to throw yourself at every incredibly gorgeous guy who comes your way!" he scolded the grinning child.

Ganesh laughed and instead took Liam, who was infinity amused to be held upside down.

"You know," Ganesh told Wotan, observing the giggling baby, "I wasn't actually too much older than this when you started to take me out riding."

At the word, “riding,” Ganesh and Wotan suddenly stared at each other in wonder.

And then all three of them (albeit, one still upside-down) stared pleadingly at Raziel.

"Oh, go ahead dear,” Raziel told Wotan.

"It'll only be a short ride I promise!" Wotan stammered.

"He'll be fine." But Wotan and Ganesh were already absconding with Liam. "And see if you can round up Nathan and Skwisgaar! They looked bored!" Raziel called after them. "Tsk," she said. “Horsemen.”

"Are they gonna be all right?" Sariel asked.

Raziel puffed out air. "He's a son of Odin. He'll ride horses and hunt and be tall and good looking. Nothing I can do about it. Now, this one,” she said, pointing to Abby, “she has possibilities. We can make her into a crusading photojournalist."

Sariel held her up for a better view. "I see her as a power mad corporate attorney."

"Yeah, that. So, you'll be naming sponsor for Abby?"

"What does it actually involve?"

"You gotta wear a tie. And stand up. Can you do both at the same time?"

Sariel scowled. "You got the names negotiated yet?" he asked.

Raziel was doodling on one of Ganesh's electronic pads. She showed it to him. “This is what we have so far.”

Signhild Lakshmi Abigail
Ragnar Krisna Liam


"Raziel, these are the worst names in the history of babies."

"You don't understand. This is a Naming ceremony. It's more political than a wedding reception! Anyway, Ganesh told me what to do: you just find a name you like for the kid, and then the rest of the interested parties get a blank space on the form. Then you only have to hear it twice, once at the ceremony, and once on their college applications,"

"So the names..."

"They're Abby and Liam to me. Then Wotan's family gets a space, Brahma gets a space...."

"Did you let my boys in on this?"

Raziel sighed. "I offered. But Skippy and Murgatroyd? I told Nathan, if I can't tell which name goes with which kid, then, no. And neither of them are gonna be Darth Vader. They've still got a couple days though."

"Don't I get a blank?"

"Sure." She handed the tablet to him. He typed, and handed it back.

Signhild Tzaphkiel Lakshmi Abigail
Ragnar Phanuel Krisna Liam


"I don't believe it," Raziel grinned. "You made the names even worse."

Sariel laughed. "You don't need to use them."

"Oh hells yes. Then I can blame you. Anyway. Ganesh says they'll probably wanna call themselves Saffron and Megadeath in a few years."

"Not Skippy and Murgatroyd?"



Mordhaus....

“Gannish dood! I’m lookin’ fer Charles!”

Pickles couldn’t remember ever seeing Ganesh with quite so many arms extended. Not even during, er, intimate moments. He was sitting at his desk in his and Sariel’s suite, typing on a laptop, PDA to his ear, tapping out something on an electronic pad and, in addition, apparently playing darts with William Murderface, who seemed to be having a time even getting the darts on the target. Dick Knubbler, who looked a little bored, sat on the couch, sipping what looked like tea and watching the darts game.

“Your turn, Ganesch,” Murderface grumbled.

“I’m not completely certain it would be in your best interest to seek out Sariel at this juncture,” Ganesh said, letting a dart fly over his shoulder. It sailed swiftly to the bulls eye.

“Why naht?”

Murderface let fly with a dart, which ended up in the ceiling. He cursed, and brought out a gold-plated 45.

“Sariel is, er, currently conferring with his father out in the west gardens.”

Dick Knubbler skillfully tackled Murderface right before he could pull the trigger. The two men wrestled to the couch.

“So, who don’t I go meet ‘em dere?”

“Er, as you are no doubt aware, whenever Sariel is getting reacquainted with his father, there is a certain amount of property damage involved. The relationship is as yet a bit … tumultuous.”

“Yeh. I've heard 'em. It sounds kinda brootal.”

“William!” Ganesh called. The wrestling match had somewhat quieted, as both men had disappeared on the couch. Dick Knubbler, looking tousled, suddenly stuck his head back up.

“Would you mind continuing elsewhere?” Ganesh asked. “I would like to avoid getting stains on that divan. It’s brand new!” Knubbler’s eyes flashed green. He grabbed up a startled looking Murderface, and they suddenly disappeared.

“Well,” Ganesh told Pickles, “If you attempt contact, kindly proceed with caution.” He frowned. “You know, we haven’t seen you up at the house. My house. In a while.”

“I bin. You know. Stuff,” Pickles muttered.

“Uh-huh. Er. Well, if there’s no stuff, we would enjoy seeing you?”

“Yeh.”



“Who the fuck taught you how to hold a fucking machete?”

“You did,” Sariel grumbled. “Remember?”

Since they inevitably ended up fighting anyways, Sariel thought he and Jacque might start out that way as well.

“You need more practice.”

“Papa, I’ve been freaking sword fighting for eons.” This was yet another annoying thing. Despite himself, and despite Jacque’s explicit instructions, he had fallen into calling the man, who, to be fair, he barely knew, Papa. “I used to spar pretty regularly with Raziel. She’s been kinda busy since the kids came,” he admitted.

“Why don’t you try sparring with that pretty boyfriend? He looks like a swordsman to me.”

“He was. But when his uncle resurrected him, he switched him to left handed, and it kind of messed him up.”

“He came back from the dead huh?”

“He, uh, sort of came back for me.”

Jacque studied him. “Sounds serious.”

“I dunno.” Why am I telling this idiot about this?

“Why don’t you know?”

"I just don’t know. He wants kids," Sariel sighed, immediately regretting it.

"That's fucking splendid! So, what the fuck are you waiting for?"

"What?"

"Line up some women. What, would you say? Maybe, six for him, six for you? Twelve is a nice even number."

"I'm not having twelve kids!"

"Seven is a good number too. Fucking propitious! You'll have to flip a coin over the extra."

"Are you insane? I don't even like freaking kids."

"Well, that Ganesh cocksucker, he's already running around barefoot. You might as well keep him pregnant, so I say."

"Jacque, are you freaking insane? Who's gonna freaking raise all those freaking kids? We both run business empires!"

"You've never heard of a fucking nanny? That's what your sister is doing!"

"First off, you OF ALL PEOPLE should freaking know she's not my sister. And, why would I hand off my kids to a freaking goddess of death?"

"I thought you said you didn't like fucking kids?"

"And where the freak am I supposed to be finding the women?"

"Your whole fuckling castle is teeming with women! Some of 'em are already naked! Or the weird cocksuckers in the hoods."

"I am NOT knocking up groupies or Klokateers. I wouldn't even wanna think of a human woman. You know what happened with the Nephilim?"

"Well, we'll just have to find you boys some goddesses."

“I’m not freaking with a goddess!”

“Why are you being such a little asshole about this?” Jacque grumbled.

“An asshole? I come by it fucking honestly, wouldn’t you say?” Sariel asked. Purely out of annoyance, he waved at the tree, and knocked it across the yard.

Jacque paused. “What do you think you’re fucking doing?” he asked.

“What do you think I’m freaking doing?”

“Are you stupid?”

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“Don’t you know how to use that fucking power?”

“What?”

Jacque sighed. “You use your blade like this, you dumb cocksucker?” he asked. He gripped his machete by the blade and thumped Sariel on the head with the hilt.

“Ow! Of course not!”

Jacque grabbed Sariel’s hand. He splayed his fingers, and then swept his hand towards the tree.

Which was neatly sliced in two.

“Holy fuck,” said Sariel, too surprised to not curse.

“You don’t need a blade, boy. You are a blade. It’s my fucking power.”

Sariel gawped. “You’ve gotta show me more of this.”

“I will if you quit being a little cocksucker!”

“I will….. I will quit being a little cocksucker,” Sariel promised. He grinned. Raziel would shit. It was worth the humiliation.



"Mudderfeckin' sonofabitch!"

"Are you all right?"

Sariel was up on the fallen log - well, the shredded remains of the fallen log – cigar gripped in his teeth, looking down at Pickles, who had quite nearly been sliced into two neat Pickles spears by a well aimed blast of Sariel's cutting power.

“Wut da feck do yoo t’ink yer doin’?”

“Oh, my dad is showing me how to use my cutting power! It’s really cool!”

“Yoo nearly cut me in two!”

“Uh. Yeah. But the good news is I’m sorry?”

“This one all right?” Jacque asked, coming to stand on top of the log with Sariel. “I brought the tube of Superglue if anything came off.” He puffed on his cigar.

Sariel started to laugh, but then took a look at Pickles, and squelched it. “Uh. Papa. I think maybe Pickles and I need to go discuss some business?”

Pickles glowered. He was holding up the cut end of one red dreadlock.

“Uh, oops,” said Sariel.



"Dood. So. I wanna doo somethin' about Set'."

Pickles had been somewhat mollified when it turned out Jacque knew a binding spell that would reattach a cut dreadlock. “Works for fingers too!” Jacque had bragged, although Pickles seemed unwilling to provide a demonstration. It had been decided to relocate to Charles’ office, where there was, if nothing else, a liquor cabinet.

"Well, I think that's actually a very good idea, Pickles,” Charles told him, swirling his Scotch.

"Uh. Wut?"

"I think it's a very good idea. We need to contact the Dream Walkers there. I've been talking to Wotan about this. We think you might be the best person for the job."

"No kiddin'?"

"No kidding."

"Dood! Dat's awesome!” Pickles rose. “I'll jest..."

"One thing."

"Uh. Yeah?"

"Take Toki."

"WUT?"

"Take. Toki. Along."

Pickles actually stomped his feet. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME TAKE HIM!"

"Actually, yes. Yes, I can."

"What if I say no?"

"Then I will ask Ganesh to cast a misdirection spell on you so powerful that anywhere you try to Walk to, you will end up in rehab."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

Pickles fumed, and then collapsed back into the guest chair. “Yer such a dick. GAWD.”

“I can be. Drink you whiskey and listen.” Pickles glowered, but sipped at his drink. “I think Toki needs to get away for a while. For several reasons. And I know, if you have him along, you are far less likely to do anything especially stupid.” Pickles stared furiously into his whiskey. “I know your capabilities. I share your concerns about your parents. And we need to deal with your brother. But I would also like some assurance that you will return safely. Personal considerations aside, you are a member of Dethklok. You are my bread and butter.”

“So, this is yer noo t’ing?”

“What?”

“Jest talkin’ to me, like an adult?”

“Was worth a shot.”

Pickles sighed. “Yoo are a bastard.”

“I am, specifically, a half angel bastard. Yes.”

Pickles downed his whiskey. He may have smiled a bit.

“You know, we haven’t seen you up at Ganesh’s lately.”

“Yeh.”

“It’s getting pretty close to finished. From the damage.”

“It’s jest. You two. An’. I have stuff.”

“Oh. Uh. Of course. Well, if you don’t have, uh, stuff. Think about dropping by?”

“Yeh.” Pickles nodded, and then he rose and started for the door. “Oh, hey Gannish dood. Hey Elegba,” he said as he departed.

Charles looked up to the two tall men huddled in his office doorway.

“Yes?”

"Er," said Ganesh. Elegba stood behind him. They both looked slightly guilty.



Milan...

"Gods I miss Italy. It's so freeing being able to jump around again!"

"I thought you were gonna be Miss Homebody now, what with your freaky babies and your freaking farm."

"Valhalla isn't a farm. Not unless Mordhaus is a bowling alley."

"What about the kids?"

"Ooooo! Did you see the little expression Abby made this morning? So precious!" Raziel had grabbed Sariel by the collar and was making him witness several thousand of what looked like similar images of an infant suffering from gas.

"Raziel, I know what your stupid baby looks like!"

"Oh, you haven't been to visit in forever!"

"I was up there yesterday!"

"But they change so fast! And they miss their Unky Sariel!"

"First, your infants are far too freaking young to know who the freak I am. Second, I'm not even their freaking uncle, I'm some kind of twice removed cousin, and third, if you freaking call me 'Unky Sariel' one more time, I will take a flaming sword...."

"Oooo, we need to go into this shop!" Raziel said. Sariel was actually tugged entirely off his feet for a brief moment as she hurried him inside.

An hour or so later, they reemerged, Sariel now dressed - rather against his will it seemed - in a completely new outfit.

"Why do you always have to wear a tie?"

"Raziel, I wear a tie."

"Why can't you try an open collar, like Ganesh?"

"Because Ganesh freaking looks like Ganesh! He could wear a pie plate on his head and still look like Ganesh! I just look like I need to put on a freaking tie!"

"Tsk."

"Why did you make me buy this crap anyway?"

"You need something un-icky to wear at the Naming. I can't have Abby see her Unky Sariel dressed in something tacky."

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING ME..."

Just then, a small knot of men surrounded Sariel, all furiously babbling in Italian.

"They want to know if you're the angel guy from TV?" Raziel translated.

"Uh, I guess you could tell them..."

Raziel already was, with a flurry of rapid Italian and hand gestures for good measure, and Sariel soon found himself being enthusiastically embraced and smooched by a group of really rather absurdly good looking men, who immediately started babbling and frenetically gesturing to Raziel.

"Oh how cool" the little angel gushed. "Sariel! These are Renaissance angels!"

"Uh. What the freak are Renaissance freaking angels?" asked Sariel, who was desperately trying to politely extricate himself from a rather violent invasion of his personal space.

"They're artist's models! They used to pose for Leonardo and those dudes."

“Those…. Wait, didn’t they just use humans…. Oh, never mind.” Sariel kept his face frozen in a grin. “What do we need to do to get them to go the freak away?”

Raziel rattled off some more Italian. He heard the phrase, taverna alato, and thought he had misheard.

"Oh my god! They're on their way to a wing bar. Wanna go?"

"No, I…. Wait. This things really exist?"

“They say they’re headed there. Right now.”

Sariel found that his curiosity overwhelmed his annoyance. As Raziel babbled in Italian a mile a minute (or rather a kilometer a minute, this being Italy) with their new friends, Sariel found himself rather glommed on to by a couple of the friendlier Renaissance angels. They went from a side street to an alley to a smaller alley, and at some point, Raziel and the angels switched from Italian to Common Angelic, which didn’t help Sariel much, as he still struggled with Common.

They finally stopped at an unmarked doorway where, upon knocking in a distinctive pattern of taps, they entered and thence descended two or three flights of rickety wooden stairs. They passed through one more wooden door.

Sariel couldn’t believe it.

It looked like a pub.

And it was completely filled with angels.

Some were politely Court Formed. They might have just been men – quite handsome men, but just men nonetheless – who had walked in off the street. But at least half of them were wings out. In True Form. And no one seemed to care. Everyone was just sipping beer and chatting companionably. There were some glances their way as they arrived – a large-ish, noisy party, which included a woman – but the looks seemed friendly.

Sariel thought he caught a word. No, a phrase, camera di serafini. Raziel nodded for him to follow them. They walked through the main pub, along a long hallway, and finally came to another door. The door opened at the top of a rickety stairway that scaled down the side of an immense basement room.

There were a several Court Formed men here as well. Along with two giant True Formed Seraphim. One of their companions yelled a greeting, which echoed through the chamber, and one of the Seraphim raised his beer – it was an entire keg, really – in salute. Sariel looked around but saw no other egress. He reckoned they must have come down here in Court Form, and transformed in the basement. He guessed that would prevent folks in the neighborhood from becoming too curious.

“I’ve never freaking seen anything like this,” Sariel told Raziel.

“You’ll stay for a drink, right?”

“Yeah, I think we should.” He noticed now as they returned to the hallway that led to the main room there were a number of paintings, in the classical style, mounted on the wall. He stopped at one in particular. “This looks like Rubens. But, I’ve never seen this subject.” One of the angels grinned a mile wide, and stood up by the painting. The rest of the crowd chuckled. “Holy shoot, you were the model?” Sariel asked him.

He kept his attentions to the paintings as they returned to the main room. Seeing so many winged beings had initially shocked him into passing right by them. They were in the style of the classical masters – Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Titian, Tintoretto – but many of them he had never seen before. Of course, because they were down in the taverna alato.

They returned to the main chamber, and a couple of their party now doffed their shirts and True Formed.

“These guys want you to see something,” Raziel told him, as she sidled to the bar for a beer. He shrugged and headed off with a couple of the angels, one of them winged. They escorted him to another back room. There were only a few tables pushed in here.

There was a rather prominent art piece displayed on the wall. It was the only artwork in the entire room, and it was much newer than any of the other pieces here.

It was Ganesh’s watercolor. Of Sariel’s wings.

He had heard it went at auction for a terrific price, but to an anonymous buyer. Since it was Ganesh, it had all gone off to some charity bullshit.

Then angels were eyeing him inquisitively.

He actually colored slightly. “Yeah,” he told them. “Si. Questo sono io.” He cringed, expecting to be assaulted with hugs and kisses again, but instead the guys just smiled very sweetly, and one clapped him lightly on the shoulder. And then they stood for a while, quietly looking at Ganesh’s painting. Well, he thought, at least it’s gone to some people who will fucking enjoy it.

They returned after a time to the main room, to find a small crowd had gathered around Raziel. Yeah, Sariel thought, trust Raziel to be the center of attention at a goddam wing bar. She was displaying an electronic pad with pictures of her babies, to considerable attention and approval and clucking of bella bambini.

Sariel’s mood improved immediately as someone from the assembled crowd insisted on buying him a beer. “So, what’s the story with these guys, anyway? I’ve heard rumors of this kinda stuff for years.”

“Well, they’re not the biggest fans of your buddy, Michael.”

“MY buddy Michael?”

“Seems they were down her modeling, and it got back to Headquarters that they were wings out in public. So, Michael basically let it be known that if they came back,” she whistled and made a falling gesture with her hand.

“Cast out?”

“Yup.”

“So, they ended up exiled here?”

“Pretty much.”

“Michael is a douche.”

“Yep. Oh! And these guys had the BEST idea! When we do the Naming, I’m going to have a baptism!”

“You’re gonna have a…. Raziel! You are not fucking Catholic!”

“You don’t need to be Catholic to be baptized, silly Sariel. And it will be so colorful and chic!”

“You’re gonna baptize the kids because it will be fashionable?”

“These guys said they’d come! We can have Ganesh paint it!”

Sarie struggled to keep his voice low. “You just invited a bunch of random angels from the bar to your Naming ceremony?”

“They’re the Renaissance angels Sariel! It will be the most fabulous Naming in history! Favoloso!” she cried, raising her beer stein.

“FAVOLOSO!” came several cheers.

Raziel was on her cell phone as soon as she emerged back into two bar territory. “Ganesh, I have the most fabulous idea ever for the…. Oh, I’m sorry about the horrid people. Wait, listen to my plan! We met some Renaissance angels. Yes! And I think you should paint them!”

“THAT WOULD BE FABULOUS!” Ganesh shouted into his cell phone, even though he had just appeared in the alleyway next to Raziel.

“Did I tell you?” Raziel asked her own cell phone.

Sariel, walking slightly behind them, and trying to decide if he should pretend he didn’t really know them, wondered why every single one of his acquaintances seemed to be quite mad.

“Where did you meet Renaissance angels?” Ganesh asked his phone.

“They took us to a wing bar," Raziel told her phone.

“WHAT? You went to a wing bar! Without me! You are a horrid woman.”

“Hey, don’t say that! I have kids!”

“You are a horrid mother!” Ganesh irritably hung up the phone and turned to Sariel. He gasped, his hands over his mouth. "Is that an Alfredo Angelous suit?" he sputtered.

"Uh, yeah," Sariel told him, examining his own lapels.

"I can't even get into their showroom!"

"I know a guy," Raziel grinned.

“Does this mean, I’m, you know, more fashionable than you?” Sariel asked.

Ganesh looked as if he might shed actual tears. “You are a horrid boyfriend!” he told Sariel. And disappeared.

“Raziel.”

“Yeah?”

“Would you take me shopping again some time?”

“Hee. Yeah.”

“Raziel.”

“What?”

“I’m thinking about maybe going without a tie.”

Raziel grinned. She got up on tip-toe and adjusted the knot in his tie. “I think you’d just look like you needed a tie.”

“Really?”

“Afraid so. Not everyone is as favoloso as your boyfriend."

"What am I gonna do about him wanting a kid?"

"Hrm. We could go back and get him a handkerchief from the Angelous boutique."

"You think that would do it?"

"Well. No. But I could look at their handbags."

"Yeah. Sure. What the freak."

And they walked off into the mild Italian evening.

Date: 2011-03-29 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corvidmoon.livejournal.com
This chapter was a lot of fun. I have a feeling the naming is going to be as entertaining as the trial, or hearing, or whatever that was. Ooooo are there going to be MONKEYS? There needs to be MONKEYS! (Nathan would agree)

I like Charles' power, its great he can fling stuff around or destroy crap. Ya know whatever he feels like.

Italy is FUN!

Date: 2011-03-29 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Heehee. There will be Renaissance angels. And pie. I'll try to figure out a way to bring in some monkeys. Just for you. And Nathan.

Date: 2011-03-29 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nugatorytm.livejournal.com
I definitely don't think anybody bothers with the recaps any more.

I bother to read them. How will I know if I missed something important if I don't read them?

"I can't even talk any more! There might be freaking babies around!"

"Believe me, babies really don't care if you say fuck."


They may not care if people swear, but ten-to-one those swear words will be the first things out of their mouths. ;)

"You don't understand. This is a Naming ceremony. It's more political than a wedding reception! Anyway, Ganesh told me what to do: you just find a name you like for the kid, and then the rest of the interested parties get a blank space on the form. Then you only have to hear it twice, once at the ceremony, and once on their college applications,"

Okay, let me get this straight: Wotan got the first space, Raziel got the last space, and everybody else fills in names in-between. Because names are Power, the only ones who would know the entire name would be the babies (and the parents)?

“William!” Ganesh called. The wrestling match had somewhat quieted, as both men had disappeared on the couch. Dick Knubbler, looking tousled, suddenly stuck his head back up.

“Would you mind continuing elsewhere?” Ganesh asked. “I would like to avoid getting stains on that divan. It’s brand new!” Knubbler’s eyes flashed green. He grabbed up a startled looking Murderface, and they suddenly disappeared.


I just love these two together. I have a small plotbunny with these two simmering on the stove. If I get some free time, I'll write it up.

Pickles had been somewhat mollified when it turned out Jacque knew a binding spell that would reattach a cut dreadlock.

I'm fairly sure you could felt the hair back together, but it wouldn't be nearly as strong as the spell would make it. I wonder how they reattached that one dread that Fatty Ding-Dongs ripped off his head?

“It’s jest. You two. An’. I have stuff.”

Awww...Pickles is feeling excluded. Like a homo. I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same way, though, so I sympathize.

The wing bar had me smiling. I thought for sure they would ask Sariel to True Form for them so they could see if he actually measured up to the painting.

Poor Ganesh. Fashion envy does not become you, my dear.

Date: 2011-03-29 01:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Okay, let me get this straight: Wotan got the first space, Raziel got the last space, and everybody else fills in names in-between. Because names are Power, the only ones who would know the entire name would be the babies (and the parents)?

You know, I haven't really used the Name=power trope for angels and other gods. I used it for demons (Duke Berith/Cornickleson). But, mostly as a way to summon his True Form and embarrass the hell out of him. (Ha!) I'm doing this more as a symbolic alliance - if the family gets to give you a name, then you're part of that family. Kind of like getting made in the Mafia. :D

I just love these two together. I have a small plotbunny with these two simmering on the stove. If I get some free time, I'll write it up.

I wanna see that! Knubblerface just endlessly amuses me.

Awww...Pickles is feeling excluded. Like a homo.

Bwa-ha-ha! But, remember, he's also sort of depressed about Seth and his parents. Seth is an ancient evil, AND THEY STILL PREFER HIM!

Poor Ganesh. Fashion envy does not become you, my dear.

Awwwwww! Ganesh just had a horrid day! WITH HORRID PEOPLE! And then Raziel went to a wing bar without him, and got his boyfriend a more fashionable suit.... ^^;;;;




Date: 2011-03-29 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nugatorytm.livejournal.com
Bwa-ha-ha! But, remember, he's also sort of depressed about Seth and his parents. Seth is an ancient evil, AND THEY STILL PREFER HIM!

Why do I get the feeling that Molly and Calvert actually know about Seth being an Elder God and don't freaking care?

Molly: Look at yer brother; he's an Elder Gahd and he's taking over Australia. What country have you taken over lately? You should be more ambitious, like Seth.

Calvert: You still belong in that garbage can.

Pickles: *fumes*

Date: 2011-03-29 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Hahahahaha!

You know the really sad thing? Pickles parents ARE MY PARENTS!!! My sister's husband divorced her ass and left her with a kid, and THEY STILL THINK HE'S AWESOME! I can imagine them moving to Australia to be closer to Cthulhu!!

Date: 2011-03-29 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nugatorytm.livejournal.com
Let's hope that either of your parents didn't think that you or your sister belong in a garbage can.

Yep, I can see it now, the moment Seth is defeated, Molly and Calvert (and quite possibly your parents) are gonna turn around and blame Pickles.

Date: 2011-03-29 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
"Why aren't you tentacled, like your brother?"

To be honest, I still haven't worked out how Molly and Calvert are gonna react, but I"m sure it's gonna be a case of Pickles Can't Win.

Date: 2011-03-29 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
They may not care if people swear, but ten-to-one those swear words will be the first things out of their mouths. ;)

FUCK, YEAH!

I, uh, mean....

Date: 2011-03-30 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sike-saner.livejournal.com
I just love these two together. I have a small plotbunny with these two simmering on the stove. If I get some free time, I'll write it up.

:D

:D :D :D

Date: 2011-03-29 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
"I do indeed despise children, Nathan. They are cloying. And sticky. And most do not smoke cigars."

I'll write you porn if Sariel babysits himself.

Raziel sighed. "I offered. But Skippy and Murgatroyd? I told Nathan, if I can't tell which name goes with which kid, then, no. And neither of them are gonna be Darth Vader. They've still got a couple days though."

...

I am now officially Skippy Murgatroyd.

"Well, that Ganesh cocksucker, he's already running around barefoot. You might as well keep him pregnant, so I say."

See? SEE??

And don't tell me no mpreg. :P I've read Brave New World. BABIES COME FROM JARS!

"Take. Toki. Along."

*cracks porn-writin' fingers*

Date: 2011-03-29 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Bah, hit the wrong button.

Pffft. Poor Ganesh, reduced to second-most-chic. They need to take him down to the wing bar to make up for it. I'm sure he can pick up a few hundred painting commissions.

Oh, and Sariel might manage to get him knocked up if Raziel promises to buy him a new Angelous Whatthefuck wardrobe after he delivers. ;)

Date: 2011-03-29 04:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Pffft. Poor Ganesh, reduced to second-most-chic. They need to take him down to the wing bar to make up for it.

Poor Ganesh, and he had a horrid day! They'll make it up to him! Sariel will bring him home the latest Italian Vogue. Maybe with the latest Italian Vogue models....

Alfredo Angelous is actually a *fake* designer. The guy who designed Lee jeans came up with it because British mod kids loved Italian stuff. I thought the name was funny.

I want a kid so Dethklok can name it.

Date: 2011-03-29 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Skippy Murgatroyd, Heir Apparent Lord of Destruction and Eater of Pie.

"Jaanu, what are all these well-dressed and achingly gorgeous men doing in our suite?"
"They're the Italian Vogue models for next month. They're gonna give you a preview."
"I see. And you are smoking because...?"
"I had a preview preview."
"Well, I hope you left enough for me."

Snerk. I want to be in the room when someone tells Ganesh that Alfredo Pasta is really a cover for Lee. I'm pretty sure the gears crashing in his brain would be audible a mile out.

Date: 2011-03-29 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Skippy Murgatroyd, Heir Apparent Lord of Destruction and Eater of Pie.

It's a good title.

I want to be in the room when someone tells Ganesh that Alfredo Pasta is really a cover for Lee.

He's a real designer in this universe. Remember, Raziel bought Sariel's Naming suit there. I just thought it would be funny to use the name of a semi-famous fake designer.

Date: 2011-03-29 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
It's a good title.

I daresay Sariel agrees.

He's a real designer in this universe. Remember, Raziel bought Sariel's Naming suit there. I just thought it would be funny to use the name of a semi-famous fake designer.

I know. :) I just want to see Ganesh hyperventilate over the concept of one of his couture icons being a *GASP* fake. Send them over to the BDP universe! I'm pretty sure we can make Ganesh melt down in the middle of the street.

(Anyway, I want to see the look on Charles's face when Ganesh dresses Toki to somewhere beyond the nines and Toki starts saying "ciao.")

Date: 2011-03-29 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Send them over to the BDP universe! I'm pretty sure we can make Ganesh melt down in the middle of the street.

Aw! Don't be mean to Ganesh! HE CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!! (As he reminds Sariel each time he requests a blow job.)

(Anyway, I want to see the look on Charles's face when Ganesh dresses Toki to somewhere beyond the nines and Toki starts saying "ciao.")

So I take it BDP Toki has reconciled with Ganesh? Despite the home-wrecking element? :D Was it the giving him and Charles the afternoon sexy time? :D

Date: 2011-03-29 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Aw! Don't be mean to Ganesh! HE CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!! (As he reminds Sariel each time he requests a blow job.)

Think he realizes that if he keeps it up, Sariel will tell him that he's used up one death's allotment of oral sex and he needs to go die again? And come back right-handed and hungry for steak this time?

So I take it BDP Toki has reconciled with Ganesh? Despite the home-wrecking element? :D Was it the giving him and Charles the afternoon sexy time? :D

I think it had more to do with borrowing the other Toki than anything else. *eg* After THAT threesome, I'm pretty sure nobody had a chance of holding any ill will.

(Though Toki joins me in wanting to see Ganesh melt down in the street. He might hold just a *slight* grudge.)

Date: 2011-03-29 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Sariel actually enjoys nibbling on Ganesh about the same as scarfing up pie. His life would be perfect if Ganesh would just get over his phobia of pie crust crumbs in bed.

Aw, but Ganesh donated the profits from his angel wings painting to UNESCO! Think of the little children, Roki!

Date: 2011-03-29 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Sariel should give Ganesh the choice of 1200-thread-count silk/cotton-blend sheets with pastry crumbs in them, or 200-thread-count polyester from Waldemart. I think Ganesh would choose the first option. (Or, y'know, the first option minus the crumbs. And possibly minus Sariel.)

And Toki is dealing with a surprise!sexually!active!teendaughter right now, and would be pretty content for all little children to burn in hell. Well, maybe just the teenagers, but you get my point.

Date: 2011-03-29 05:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Evit!Teen!Rigyn? Oh dear!

Date: 2011-03-29 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Let's just say she takes after her big brother. (Oh, and is suspended from school for that very reason. Fortunately, Toki's grounded, too.)

Date: 2011-03-29 05:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
*sigh* DP's artwork has kind of ruined me for writing lately. I swear to god, I WISH I could write something as sexay as this dang icon. *gazes fondly at Radioactive Sariel*

Date: 2011-03-29 05:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
You know, I'm perfectly happy to ghostwrite some porn if you want. I just have to finish the porn I already have in queue.

Date: 2011-03-29 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
I might wanna run something by you, actually. I have a 3 way that sorta turns into a mind fuck. Yes, my stuff is getting passing strange....

Date: 2011-03-29 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
I'M GOOD WITH THIS! I have no problem whatsoever with writing dark, twisted sex! It's ALL KINDS of fun!

Date: 2011-03-29 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
I'll try to get that passage finished. Or at least what I consider finished. I'm trying to make the Naming/baptism chapter as ridiculous and elaborate as possible. (No, the 3-way does not happen at the Naming...). :D

Date: 2011-03-29 05:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
DAMN IT! Can Sariel and Ganesh at least wait for everyone to wander to the sit-down ten-course reception, then ambush Pickles on every surface in the room?

Date: 2011-03-29 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
"Won't you kindly come up for tea and have us fuck your brains out?" (Guess which part of the message Ganesh wrote and which part Sariel wrote?)

Date: 2011-03-29 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
I think Ganesh wrote the word "tea," because Sariel would have written "booze" or "weed."

Oh, man, I just got the most awesome idea for an art!fic that would require either two handwriting fonts or a co-conspirator. I may have to do this when I have the chance.

Date: 2011-03-29 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Oh, man, I just got the most awesome idea for an art!fic that would require either two handwriting fonts or a co-conspirator. I may have to do this when I have the chance.

That sounds cool!! I would do it! I can actually handwrite! Er, usually. Did you see that cute C/M (yes, I mean C/M) fic a couple weeks back where they made VALENTINES?

Date: 2011-03-29 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Oh, man, yes. I beta-read that one, and it was AWESOME. I totally ship C/MF, so I was down with the groove, G.

Ack, gotta run, PT in half an hour. However, I may have to jot together a rough draft. *eg* (This may require the postal service, btw. Though wouldn't that be epic?)

Date: 2011-03-29 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Seriously, girl, is there anything - ANYTHING - you do not beta-read? You are a machine!

Date: 2011-03-29 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wikdsushi.livejournal.com
Nope, I'm the ninja-lawyer-CFO of beta reading. For the record, I try.

Date: 2011-03-29 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
I sent you the weird bit I was talking about last night.

Date: 2011-03-30 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sike-saner.livejournal.com
Charles scanned the table, five musicians now glaring at him.

“Uhhhh, the good news is, I’m sorry?”


Heh. Hearing that line out of Charles is a wondrous thing. :D

"Did you let my boys in on this?"

Raziel sighed. "I offered. But Skippy and Murgatroyd? I told Nathan, if I can't tell which name goes with which kid, then, no.


Hmph! Nathan is the master of naming things, hurricanes and babies alike! :<

And neither of them are gonna be Darth Vader.

Ah damn.

“William!” Ganesh called. The wrestling match had somewhat quieted, as both men had disappeared on the couch. Dick Knubbler, looking tousled, suddenly stuck his head back up.

“Would you mind continuing elsewhere?” Ganesh asked. “I would like to avoid getting stains on that divan. It’s brand new!” Knubbler’s eyes flashed green. He grabbed up a startled looking Murderface, and they suddenly disappeared.


:D

This makes me smile. :3

Sariel was up on the fallen log - well, the shredded remains of the fallen log – cigar gripped in his teeth, looking down at Pickles, who had quite nearly been sliced into two neat Pickles spears by a well aimed blast of Sariel's cutting power.

PICKLES SPEARS. XD


Because Ganesh freaking looks like Ganesh! He could wear a pie plate on his head and still look like Ganesh!

THIS BEGS FOR ART. :D

As Raziel babbled in Italian a mile a minute (or rather a kilometer a minute, this being Italy)

Liked that bit. XD


PG-rated Sariel amuses me terribly, as does his messing around (and pissing off Pickles) with his... I almost want to say he's doing air cutters or psycho cuts or something, because I will always be, at least to some degree, a pokénerd. X3

Date: 2011-03-30 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikific.livejournal.com
Poke-Sariel?

*dies*

You realize, you gotta go write this now!!! :D

And neither of them are gonna be Darth Vader.
Ah damn.


I think Nathan tried Anakin Skywalker too. Damn he's persistent. :D
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