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Title: Whys and Wherefores (Mythklok Interstitial)
Author: tikistitch, plus special bonus nugatorytm
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Boon has questions.
Warnings: Annoying kids.
Notes: After I started writing this, and completely unbeknownst to me, Tam came up with a hilarious short piece that works as either a coda or Part 2, so I’ve appended it to the end (with her gracious permission).





“Whyyyyyyyyy?”

Nathan Explosion regarded the small boy clinging to his hand, smiling up at him. Kids were young and stupid. Weren't you supposed to know more than them?

“BECAUSE!” thundered Nathan, in a tone that would have surely made his band mates reconsider their life choices.

“Because … whyyyyyyy?” asked Elias, who was now openly smiling. Nathan recognized that smile: Ganesh's big grin. But the evil twinkle in the little demon's eyes? That had another culprit.

“CHAAAARLES!” boomed Nathan, storming into the said culprit’s office.

Charles blinked up from his paperwork, the light catching his eyeglasses. “Yes, Nathan?”

“Your KID has QUESTIONS!” said Nathan, who was not pleased to his manager's poker face edge into a smile. It was a family conspiracy!

“What kind of questions, Nathan?”

“HE KEEPS ASKING WHY!”

“Well,” said Charles, leaning back in his chair and playing with a pencil, “why what exactly?”

“At first I think he asked me why I changed back from being a DEMON, and I told him because he told me to, but then he asked why to that and why the why, and then why that, and I'M GETTING SERIOUSLY CONFUSED HERE.”

“You wanna know why, huh?” Charles asked Elias.

“Uh-HUH!” agreed the boy. Nathan noticed he did not answer his father with yet another “Why,” which only increased his annoyance.

“Ganesh,” said Charles, who had already picked up the phone. “Yeah. Our kid is here with Nathan. Yeah, Nathan. Boon is asking him why. Uh-huh. OK.” Charles put down the phone.

“Oh, does Ganesh have the answers?” asked Nathan. Ganesh was a smart dude, so that would figure.

“He can deal with the situation,” said Charles mysteriously. “So. How are you adapting, Nathan?”

“Huh? Oh, I'm OK I guess,” said Nathan, plopping down in a chair and regarding his human body. “Sort of good not to break things all the time, huh?”

“Eliu!” said Ganesh, who had just appeared in the room.

“Baap!” giggled the child.

“Our kid is full of why's,” Charles told him.

“Is that true?” Ganesh asked Elias.

“Uh-huh!” agreed Elias, who seemed delighted with the notion.

“Well, only one thing to do,” said Ganesh, who, to Nathan's surprise, grabbed Elias, turned him upside down, and began to gently shake him as Elias dissolved into a giggle fit.

“There we go, shaking out all those why's,” said Ganesh. He righted his son. “How is that?”

“More Baap!” said Elias. “More!”

“All rightie,” said Ganesh, once more inverting Elias, and now giving him a couple of light pats on the butt for emphasis. “There we go, all the why's!”

Ganesh finished and sat down beside Nathan, Elias on his lap, the boy still upside-down and giggling.

“Wait,” said Nathan. “That's how you do it?”

“Well, it is what my uncle used to do to me, when I got this way,” said Ganesh, Elias' legs running up his body, wiggling his feet in his father's face. “So, how are you faring, Nathan?”

Nathan shrugged. “I was telling Charles. I'm OK.” He cracked his neck.

“No ill effects?”

“Neck’s a little stiff,” allowed Nathan.

“If you find there is some stiffness, I can recommend some stretching exercises. Or yoga!”

“I'M NOT GONNA DO YOGA!” insisted Nathan.

“Whyyyyyyy?” asked Elias who had just slithered into a sitting position on his father's lap.

“I thought we got rid of all those?” chided Ganesh.

“Uh, no offense,” Nathan backpedaled. “I know you do that crap, Ganesh. Uh, I mean that exercise crap,” explained Nathan.

“The other boys...” supplied Charles.

“They'd never let me LIVE IT DOWN!” said Nathan.

“But strengthening core musculature is the basis of a healthy lifestyle!” insisted Ganesh.

“No,” said Charles and Nathan.

“Not sufficiently metal,” added Charles.

Ganesh frowned. “We could give him a battle axe or something of the sort,” he said, rubbing his chin.

“WHAT?” asked Nathan.

“Tell them it's medieval combat training or something? They'd all want lessons then,” warned Charles, raising an eyebrow.

“Less insufferable than sitar lessons,” grumbled Ganesh. Elias wound up to speak, but got only as far as the “WH-” before his father put out a warning finger.

“We could see what we got in the armory,” put in Charles.

“Charles!” came the plaintive cry from the doorway.

“Oh, Toki!” said Charles.

“Oh, dear, what has happened?” asked Ganesh, scooting Elias off his lap and striding over to the guitarist. Toki was in his winged forms – well, one of his winged forms – but he seemed also to be wearing half of Mordland's shrubbery in his feathers.

“I ams gets away from da dumb dildos Skwisgaar and ams landed in da bushes,” Toki reported.

“Toki-” began Charles, who instead adjusted his tie.

“Nothing appears to be broken,” said Ganesh, holding out one of Toki's wings.

“Wings are pretty tough,” said Charles, who had come, seemingly reluctantly, to stand beside Ganesh.

“Still, I'd like to take a better look,” said Ganesh. “Maybe in our quarters....”

“What about my BATTLE AXE?” asked Nathan, who was not terribly pleased to no longer be the center of attention.

Ganesh scowled at Nathan, but Charles stepped in and said, “OK, Nathan, here's what we'll do. Toki, can you stay with Boon for a minute? Ganesh and I will go get Nathan settled.”

“Ams settled how?” asked Toki.

“MEDIEVAL WEAPONS TRAINING!” boomed the singer. “And, uh, maybe some stretching and shit.”

“Medsevils weapons? Oh, can I ams come?” asked Toki.

Charles and Ganesh smiled smugly at each other. “I believe that can be arranged,” Ganesh told Toki.

“Boon! You be good for Uncle Toki! Don't drive him crazy!” warned Charles. He and Ganesh then escorted Nathan out of the office.

“Wunky Tok an fwy?” asked Elias, pointing curiously at Toki's wings.

“Ja, Booms. But I ams crashed,” sighed Toki.

“Whyyyyyyyy?”

“Because I ams da craps angels,” grumbled the Norwegian.

“Whyyyyy?”

“Because I can't ams stays in da airs!”

“Whyyyyyy?”

“I don't knows! Maybes my wings ams fucked!” said Toki, who quickly covered his mouth when Elias did the same. “I ams means, my wings ams … dumb dildos.” Toki gave his leaf-studded wings a disgruntled flap, dislodging random bits of foliage across Charles' office.

“Wunky Tok,” giggled Elias. “Not da weens!”

“Not ams wings?” asked Toki, confused.

“Uh-huh! Seeee!” urged Elias, who ran across the floor and then straight up the wall of Charles' office. “SEEEEE?” he asked, now standing on the ceiling.

“I cans not ams does dat,” scoffed Toki, who was leaning over trying to look at Elias rightside up.

“Uh-HUH!” contradicted Elias, who reversed course and ran straight back down to Toki.

“I ams not t'inks so, Booms.”

Elias, ignoring Toki, instead tugged on his hand. “Wak da wa', Unky Tok!”

“I can'ts-” But Elias insistently took one exaggeratedly long step towards the wall, and so Toki followed. And then another step. And another. And another. And another....



“You think he'll be OK?” Charles asked.

“Nathan will be fine,” Ganesh assured him. “However, I will stand by my original advice that we do not begin, er, 'Medieval Weapons Training' with a morning star. Or indeed anything with quite so many spikes.”

“Our phones have more spikes,” laughed Charles as the two men entered his office. “And believe me, they can do damage. I've sat on the damned thing before.”

“Still, perhaps something a bit less … lethal.”

“It's still less less lethal than that defibrillator,” chuckled Charles, who immediately realized his mistake.

“Yes, about that-” glared Ganesh.

“Look I can explain- What?” he asked Ganesh. The god had turned fully around, and was pointing up at the wall of Charles' office.

Halfway up the wall stood Elias.

And Toki.

“Toki?” asked Charles.

The guitarist seemed to come out of a trance. He started, staring at Charles. He just had time to cry out before he plummeted back to the floor, landing with a small thump.

“WUNKY TOK!” yelled Elias, who came scampering down.

“OWIE! My butts!”

Ganesh was at his side. “Well, I think nothing is broken. This time!” he said.

“Elias! What were you doing?” asked Charles.

Elias was squatting next to Toki. He pointed at the guitarist. “Teach Wunky Tok an fwy!”

“Inside the office?” asked Charles.

“Oh! He was practicing weight modulation! That is clever thinking, Boonie,” he said, pinching the boy's nose.

“Can you walk?” Charles asked Toki as Ganesh helped him to his feet.

“I ams walked … on da walls!” said the clearly impressed guitarist. “Ams we does it agains, Booms?” he immediately asked the child.

“Uh-huh!” agreed Elias.

“Uh, Toki, maybe first, you let us put down … mats?” asked Charles.

“Ja, maybe dat ams good ideas,” agreed Toki, rubbing his butt.
“Come along, Toki, we will check those wings as well,” said Ganesh, urging him out of the office.

“My whole band’s gonna end up in St. Necrophage’s before this week is out,” Charles told Elias as he watched them go.

“Doooooood!” said Pickles, who appeared in the doorway literally seconds after Ganesh and Toki had departed.

“Yes, Pickles?”

“I heard yer teachin’ Weed Evil Weapons t’ Nathan!”

“Uh, not exactly,” said Charles, who went back to sit behind his desk, Elias immediately scrambling up on his lap and taking charge of the laptop. “He is taking a class from Ganesh-“

“Ganish dood!”

“You might actually profit from it,” mused Charles, eyeing the drummer’s beer gut. “Ganesh has some stretching and strengthening exercises-“

“Wait!” Pickles frowned. “Does dis class invalve da yoose o’ illicit substances in any way?”

“No, it does not,” admitted Charles.

“Den I’m nawt innerested.”

“Only highly dangerous medieval weaponry.”

Pickles paused. “Sign me up!” he said, grinning and departing.

“Make a note of this,” Charles told Elias.

“Da note?” asked Elias, little hands on the keyboard.

“Yeah. Make note: my band will only adopt healthy lifestyle practices if they involve potential death and dismemberment.”

“Membermen!” agreed Elias.

Charles regarded the laptop screen. “Not sure that’s how you spell dismemberment, but it’s close enough,” he told his son.



Here is Part 2, as told by Tam….


Boon: *running in* Boo-boo, Daddy!

Charles: *immediately looking Boon over* Where? Let me see.

Boon: Nod da Boonie, Unky Tok id da boo-boo!

Charles: Ohhh, Toki practicing his flying again, right? *reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a Hello Kitty band-aid* Here you go. Don't forget to kiss it and make it better!

Boon: Okie! *runs out, band-aid in hand*

Ganesh: Honestly Sariel. Don't encourage unsanitary medical practices in that boy. Hmm, perhaps I should go check on the extent of Toki's injury? He might have broken a wing or something.

Charles: Nah, he's fine. Probably a scraped knee or elbow. Believe me, if it was more than a scratch, Boon would have gotten you, not a band-aid.

(Both watch from the window as Boon dresses the slight injury, kissed the band-aid then brings his wings out to encourage Toki to try again. Toki manages to hover about five feet off of the ground before a gust of wind slams him into a nearby tree trunk.)

Ganesh: Why is he having such a difficult time with this? Even young birds have an easier time learning how to fly.

Charles: First of all, we're not birds, as you well know. Our wings may look the same, but that's as far as it goes. We're a whole different animal altogether, we don't do things instinctively. Secondly, Toki was never taught how to fly. It was forced into his head that his wings were something to be ashamed of, so I suspect that anything he knows about flying he picked up on his own. He had no idea he even could manipulate his weight until he was told. How he even got off the ground in the first place is beyond me. *ponders* Maybe that's where he developed that GQ body he's got. I'll bet he can arm wrestle with those wings of his.

Ganesh: His mother is half angel, is she not? Did she ever manifest wings at all?

Charles: I stayed away from his parents as much as possible, so I have no idea. And Toki never mentioned it. We know through Englebert that his mother, Anya, is half Power. How this accounts for Toki's brown wings remains a mystery, as Powers are all green and gold. Maybe it has something to do with his father but good luck getting any information out of him, may he burn forever. Perhaps I'll ask his mother about it the next time she comes to visit.

(They both cringe as the sound of a large body impacting with a window reaches their ears from below. They look down just in time to see Toki slide off of a pane of heavy-duty reinforced glass and into some bushes, leaving a smear of blood streaking down the glass.)

Baaaaap!

Ganesh: That is my cue. Hopefully, it will be nothing more serious than a broken nose.

Charles: Don't forget to kiss it and make it better!

Ganesh: I think not.
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