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Title: He Ain't Heavy (Mythklok interstitial)
Author: tikistitch
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Weighty matters
Warnings: Slash, AU, OCs, swearing
Notes:



Ganesh heard the soft thud that could only be a baby bottom and looked up from his blueprints.

"Blarrrgh!" said Elias, adding a cheery little wing flap

"Yes, I know. You have figured out how to modulate your weight, and now you are flying everywhere.” He regarded his son sternly over his reading glasses. “Might I suggest taking a moment to instead master bipedal locomotion?"

"Blaaaaarrrrrrgh!" Elias repeated.

"Well, that's what one gets, trying to reason with an angel. Come, I think a nice bath time is warranted," he said, lifting his child and beginning to head for the door.

"Blaaarrgh!" cried Ganesh, plummeting to the floor, Elias on top of him.

"What's up?" asked Sariel, who had just popped his head in at the sound of his fiancé blaarrghing.

"Your little... Bowling ball.... Has figured out.... How to make himself heavy," Ganesh gasped.

"Huh. Well, that's pretty cool. But why's he my bowling ball? He looks just like you. Only with the wings."

"Sariel," Ganesh wheezed. "Can you get him.... Off me?"

"You know. If I hurt my back lifting him when he’s heavy, I can't do that thing you like!"

"Sariel! I can no longer enjoy kinky sex of any kind trapped here under this baby!"

Sariel said a word, and suddenly, Elias fluttered up to his arms.

"What did you say?" Ganesh asked, rising somewhat painfully to a sitting position.

"I just told him 'Up' in Common Angelic. Don't you know any Common?"

"Only what I have picked up from you," said Ganesh, standing and brushing himself off irritably. "Which is not terribly useful."

"Like what?"

"Cocksucker, motherfucker, and suck my angelic dick."

"Oh. Those are useful!”

"They are not terribly so in raising a child!"

"Anjudik!" Elias chirped.

"Boon!” Ganesh scolded. “What are you teaching him?"

"You're the one who swore!"

"You're the one giving him cigars!"

"It was only the one!"

"Come on. Over here," Ganesh urged, holding out his arms, into which Sariel deposited a now madly giggling Elias. "We need to get you your ba-". The sentence ended in a scream.

"Down goes Frazier," Sariel laughed.

"Get. Him. Off. Me!" Ganesh squeaked from the floor.

"Up, Boon."

"THAT ISN'T FUNNY," Ganesh protested as Boon merrily fluttered over to Sariel once again.

"It's angel humor. Which is slapstick based. You're being culturally insensitive."

Elias babbled something. Sariel frowned.

"What did he say?" Ganesh asked, painfully rising yet again.

"Uh. He's asking where your wings are,” Sariel told him.

"Oh. No wings. Arms," Ganesh told him, unbuttoning his shirt to take out a couple of extra sets.

Elias frowned at the arms and repeated the word for wings.

"No wings,” Ganesh said. “Can you tell him?"

No wings, Boon.

Elias seemed to be concentrating. He said another word.

"He asked-" Sariel started.

"Yeah, I caught that. No, Boon. I'm not an angel."

Boon gave his wings a considering flap. He looked up at Sariel. "No. No wings. Not an angel." Sariel told him.

"Angel!" Elias insisted, pointing to Ganesh.

"No. Not angel."

Elias looked baffled.

Ganesh suddenly felt very sad.

Suddenly, Elias' jaw dropped open. He gestured excitedly at Ganesh. "No wing angel!"

"I'm a...?"

"No wing angel," said Sariel, handing off Elias once again, who happily threw himself around no wing angel's neck.

"Well, I suppose if it will keep peace in the family," Ganesh laughed, smoothing Elias' dark hair. "OK. Daddy is no wing angel."

"Crisis averted. Were you gonna...?"

"He's got wing goo again,” Ganesh said, holding out one wing to demonstrate.

"Want me to-?"

"That would help. I really need to review these architectural drawings."

"OK, hand him over here," Sariel told him, gesturing. "C'mon, Boon, time for your BLAAAARRRRRGGH!"

Sariel was on the floor, one suddenly very heavy angel baby flappig its wings happily in the middle of his chest.

"He broke. My entire body!" Sariel whined.

"You know, come think of it, now that I am an angel, I have begun to gain an appreciation of angel humor!" Ganesh told him

“Get him off!”

“Yop?” Ganesh tried.

“Yop?” asked Elias.

“Wep?” Ganesh tried.

“Wep?” Elias giggled.

“It’s UP!” Sariel huffed. Elias obediently fluttered up to Ganesh’s arms.

“I’m a no wing angel! It takes me extra time for these things!” Ganesh laughed.

“I need pie,” Sariel gasped, sitting up.

“Yes, that seems the best good solution at this juncture. As an angel, I now have appreciation for these subtleties. And then perhaps we can all go get sprayed off in the garden hose.”

Ganesh held out an extra hand, and helped Sariel to his feet.

“Why would I need to get sprayed off?” Sariel asked, heading to the kitchen with them.

“Wing goo.”

“But I don’t even have my wings out!” Sariel protested

“You still seem to manage to get goo into them. This is the advantage of being a no wing angel!” he told Elias.

“No wing angel,” Elias laughed.

“I still want my pie,” Sariel grumbled.

"Is there such a thing as a No Pie Angel, you think?" Ganesh asked.

"No. Not possible," Sariel told him definitively.

"Ah."

"Unless you've eaten it all. Then you would be an Out of Pie Angel."

"I am beginning to appreciate the niceties."

"Having a child is broadening."

"And heavy."

"Yes. Heavy."
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